


There For You

by Quinn_Coveswena



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Bisexual Pride, Bullying, Childhood Friends, Christmas Fluff, Closeted Alec Lightwood, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Complicated Relationships, Epilogue, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feels, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Gay Pride, Graduation, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Violence, Mother-Son Relationship, Other, Past Abuse, Pride, Prom, Threats of Violence, True Love, closeted magnus bane, some homophobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 15:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17470529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinn_Coveswena/pseuds/Quinn_Coveswena
Summary: Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood are two high school seniors living in a conservative small town. Out of fear of retribution, they must keep their relationship a secret from everyone they know, despite not truly knowing what exactly that relationship is. Amidst the chaos of their lives, Magnus and Alec always have one safe place hidden away from the rest of the of the world, waiting for them.Or,A "Blue Neighborhood AU" resulting from the album, music videos, and other Troye Sivan songs giving me massive Malec feels.





	1. Talk Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> Hello once more, lovelies <3 I promise this is the longest note you'll ever have to read in this fic, so please bear with me. Thank you so much for checking this story out. This fic is very different than the previous ones I have published. It's much heavier and deals with very serious issues that kids and teens in the LGBTQ+ community continue to face every day. I promise to do my best to address them honestly, respectfully, and realistically. Being part of the community myself, these things are very important to me as well. 
> 
> From a writer's standpoint, I feel very accomplished with what I have created so far. A huge thank you to the amazing @Nan_ette, my hero, for beta reading my work <3
> 
> I noticed that Troye Sivan's song lyrics always tended to make me think of Malec. I didn't initially set out to create a "Blue Neighborhood" AU, but that album served as my primary source of inspiration for this fic. Other songs and collabs Troye has done, plus the Blue Neighborhood Trilogy music videos also played a massive role in developing this story, and well, it's time to call it what it is. And I did also include some personal experience of mine and my friend's when it came to dealing with anxiety in this piece and based much of this fic on what I've seen and dealt with living in a rural conservative area.
> 
> Each chapter draws heavily from one song in particular (but there will be some references to other songs as well), and I tried to incorporate the lyrics themselves into the story as best I could. 
> 
> I want to try something new, so if you're on Twitter, use the tag #ThereForYouFic to live-tweet along. My username is @enthusiasm85, and I'd love to see your thoughts and reactions.
> 
>    
> Title: "There for You" by Martin Garrix, Troye Sivan 
> 
> Song for chapter 1: "TALK ME DOWN"

 

_I need you_

 

The second Magnus got the text he was up grabbing his things and heading out the door. He told his mom he was late for a study session and not to wait up for him.

 

After making it down the block and out of his mom’s line of sight, Magnus made a beeline for the abandoned house that used to belong to his neighbor. He cut across the yard and headed out back into the woods. He found the thin, worn path easily, despite the last rays of dusk and thickening trees beginning to plunge the forest into total darkness. Magnus’s feet knew this path and several others as surely as he knew the hallways of Idris High School.

 

It wasn’t long until he caught sight of the equally familiar glow up in the canopy ahead. Though the light itself was fairly dim, it showed like a beacon for Magnus. A slight sense of relief filled him. That break in the darkness meant _he_ was there, _he_ was safe.

 

Magnus picked up the pace anyway and sprinted the last part of his treck, dodging large areas of mud. April shower and all that. In hindsight, sprinting might not have been the best idea, considering he’d be needing to climb next.

 

He stopped to catch his breath for a moment when he’d reached his destination. Up above him, built into a cluster of sturdy oak trees, sat their sanctuary.

 

The treehouse was truly a marvel. Magnus’s father had dedicated almost an entire year to the initial project and added on to it periodically over the last two years of his life. He’d built the entire structure to last for years and had gone as far as to waterproof, shingle, and lightly insulate it. His last renovation before the accident had been to add a balcony of sorts with another pulley system attached.

 

Walking underneath the base of the treehouse, Magnus made his way to the wooden ladder and began his ascent. When he reached the top he rapped a patterned knock on the boards above, waited a few seconds, and firmly pushed the trapdoor open. Light flooded over him, and he blinked spots out of his eyes as he breached the enclosure. He looked over as he pulled himself up to and came eye level with treehouse’s current co-owner and occupant, Alec Lightwood.

 

When they were kids, they’d come up with the brilliant idea that they should be able to build forts within their fort, and Magnus’s father had been happy to oblige. That’s where he found Alec, framed by several blankets strategically tied and hanging off of a series of nylon ropes. He had his frankly ridiculously long legs curled up to his chest and was rocking in a ball on the floor. His face was red and blotchy, and his breaths came in short, frantic bursts.

 

The tree house was tall enough for Magnus to stand at full-height (Alec, being a head taller than him, had to hunch over slightly). He dropped his bag and stretched for a moment before crouching down beside the other male and wrapping his arms around him. “Shh,” Magnus hushed gently in his ear and pressed a kiss to the top of Alec’s head. He’d clearly been fisting his hands through his hair, leaving it a mess. “It’s ok, Alexander,” he said in a steady, calming voice. “I’m here now.”

 

The signal out here was spotty, and Magnus hated to think how long this might have been going on for before he got that text. Knowing Alec, he’d waited until he was safe inside these walls before letting everything out.

 

“I’m going to help you,” he consoled. “First thing we need to do is to get your breathing under control. Do you understand?” Alec nodded slightly and let out another shaky breath. Magnus let go of Alec for just a second. “I’ll count your breaths for you, ok? And then I’ll squeeze.”

 

He followed Magnus’s count—breathe in for three seconds, hold for three, breathe out for another three. They did this five times until he’d done a total of fifteen seconds for each.

 

Alec felt his chest begin to unclench as his breathing became steadier, and his head swam slightly as the pressure that had built up in it began to dissipate. Magnus shifted so that he was kneeling behind him. Alec stretched out his legs a bit and leaned back into Magnus even before he was wrapped in his arms. He’d learned that Magnus applying pressure from behind like this helped to ground him during these attacks.

 

This physical component mirrored the breathing exercise. Magnus and Alec alternated between the two of them for fifteen minutes until the episode had passed.

 

Alec slumped back against Magnus slightly, his anxiety attack leaving him physically drained. Magnus ran a hand through Alec’s hair, smoothing it out and soothing him. He checked to make sure he was ok before guiding him over to lean against the air mattress they had set up in the corner.

 

Crawling just outside of the blanket fort, Magnus grabbed his backpack and the first aid kit that they kept in the treehouse. When he sat back down, he pulled out a bottle of water from his bag, opening and handing it to Alec with a firm “drink,” and fished around in the kit for some Advil. He pressed two pills into the palm of Alec’s hand and delicately closed Alec’s fingers around them. Magnus pressed a kiss to them before giving Alec his hand back.

 

A faint smile appeared on Alec’s lips for a second before he popped the Advil in his mouth and washed them down with half of the bottle of water. He hadn’t realized he was so thirsty. Magnus watched him patiently, but his concern was still evident.

 

Alec laid his left hand palm up beside him, inviting Magnus to hold it. Magnus readily accepted. “Thank you,” Alec said, speaking for the first time.  He’d never be able to thank Magnus enough for pushing him to try these coping mechanisms together. And although he'd gotten better at dealing with his anxiety on his own, this time he knew that he needed Magnus to come over and talk him down.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Magnus asked, hoping it wasn’t too soon and he wasn’t going to accidentally send his...Alexander...into another anxiety attack.

 

Staring down at the thinning rag rug (Magnus’s mother’s contribution to the treehouse decor), Alec started fidgeting slightly. Magnus could see traces of Alec’s anxiety flaring up and practically hear his brain winding up for another go. He needed to try to stop it in its tracks.

 

“Come here,” Magnus beckoned, rising just enough to sit on the air mattress instead of the floor. He thought that maybe massaging the tension out of Alec’s back and shoulders would clear out some of those thoughts cluttering that pretty little head of his. It might also help to keep that comforting pressure Alec liked.

 

Alec swallowed another sip of water and scootched over. Magnus sat on his knees and began working his magic on Alec’s tight muscles. He tried not to think too hard about exactly _how muscular_ Alec’s torso was. Or how good it felt underneath his hands. Or how the little groans Alec made as his muscles un-knotted themselves affected his own body.

 

Alec knew that he was melting underneath Magnus’s delicate yet firm hands. His touch was like fire and ice—-hot at first, but leaving behind a trail of goosebumps behind it, causing Alec to shiver.

 

His moaning was an involuntary response to the seized-up muscles in his back turning to jello, but it sounded obscene to his ears. He bit back guilt alongside more noises. Each sound that escaped his clenched teeth left an acidic, venomous taste on his tongue.

 

‘ _This is wrong,’_ a voice that sounded suspiciously like his father’s hissed in the back of his mind. Guilt, anxiety, and their third closest friend, self-hatred, started swirling in the pit of his stomach.

 

Alec knew that Magnus’s intentions were the best, but they had the opposite effect than intended. This wasn’t helping.

 

Hating himself for two very different reasons, Alec pulled away from Magnus and shook his head. “Sorry,” he apologized, moving just out of arm’s reach. “I’m just...I’m sorry. I can’t do that right now.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Magnus apologized with an aching heart. He hated how Alec was at war with himself every day, torn between who he was and who he was “supposed to be.” He hated that he’d been made to feel guilt-ridden over wanting to feel the touch of another man rather than a woman, as is supposedly condemned in the bible.

 

Being the son of a preacher in a conservative household, Alec had had this message drilled into him for years. Back when he and God were still on speaking terms, Magnus had sat through enough of Robert Lightwood’s sermons to understand where exactly Alec’s self-hatred stemmed from.

 

Magnus hated it all.

 

“Everything is ok, Alexander,” he reassured Alec, extending his hand out towards him. He figured that holding hands was a safer option for physical contact since Alec had been the one to initiate the action earlier. Magnus only had to hold his breath for a few seconds before he felt Alec’s hand slide into his own.

 

As much as he felt like he was tip-toeing a thin line, Magnus couldn’t hold Alec’s against him. Not when he knew what Alec went through every day. Not when Alec has been there for him when he gets into a similar state himself, particularly after a nasty altercation with his step-father. Whatever had happened today had to have burrowed into the heart of Alec’s fears and insecurities. That was the only explanation.

 

Magnus’s thumb rubbed soothing circling into Alec’s hand as they sat in silence. He watched Alec’s lips moving as he stared at the floor, searching for the right words to say. Alec had always been better about holding back his words than he was with articulating them.

 

“It started after lacrosse practice,” Alec murmured. Had it not been just the two of them isolated out in the middle of the woods, Magnus doubted that he would have heard him. “It was Raj and Aldertree and their goons. And Jonathan.”

 

Magnus sucked in a breath, not liking where this was headed. Raj Anthony and Victor Aldertree were the ringleaders of the biggest group of assholes at their school. Jonathan Morgenstern was the son of Alec’s coach, s he was practically untouchable. “What did they do this time?” Magnus asked, grinding his teeth.

 

“More of their same shit,” Alec grumbled, finally looking back up at Magnus. The space between them suddenly felt like a chasm bridged only by their hands. No, this wasn’t helping either.

 

He could see the surprise in Magnus’s eyes as he scootched back over beside him, still holding his hand. Surprise melted into a soft smile, and Alec felt a familiar warmth spread through his chest at the sight.  He could tell him. He was safe here with him. Alec took a deep breath and let it all out:

 

“We were changing in the locker room, and they started spewing bullshit like they usually do. And like, obviously it’s not the first time they’ve said homophobic shit. You know it’s not. But they’ve never said or done anything like this. Apparently one of them found out that Meliorn Nightwillow is dating some guy from Brocelind High. And not only were they outing him, but they were also just saying the most...hurtful, vile, vulgar things.”

 

Alec closed his eyes shut and took a moment before continuing: “They talked about beating him up to ‘teach him a lesson,’ and that they didn’t want ‘some fag’ watching them change.” He shook his head. “I don’t even think he’s gay, Magnus. You know how hot and heavy he and Izzy were. Not that that means anything. But I just...I mean he could like both girls and guys, ya’ know? He could be more like you than me.”

 

Magnus needed to do some breathing of his own. Of course Alexander had taken this to heart. He’d not only been subjected to hearing those bigots attacking who he was, but who Magnus was as well. Heard them voice the fears he had for Magnus’s safety.

 

There was a good reason why Magnus wasn’t out at home or at school. His bisexuality was an open secret only amongst those he was closest too. And each one of them knew that if it got out that Magnus liked other guys in any capacity that he was a dead man. While Alec’s father was the pray-away-the-gay type, his stepfather was the anything-I-disapprove-of-will-be-met-with-a-fist type.

 

Magnus was still processing everything when the air mattress shifted under the weight of Alec coming to sit next to him. Their eyes met for a few seconds before Alec pulled him in tight to his chest.

 

They stayed like that for a long time. Over the past seven years, this treehouse had become more of a home to Magnus than the house he lived in with an angry, alcoholic stepfather, and a mother whose escape from the shit-show that was their lives was to pick up shifts at work.

 

For Alec, 'home' was Magnus. It was right here in his arms, in any room he filled with his laughter, any place they were together.

 

It was the traces Magnus left of himself that made their childhood treehouse feel like home to Alec. He knew that Magnus felt this way about him as well.

 

They didn’t move far when they finally released each other from their embrace. Instead, they opted to rest their foreheads against one another, clasping their hands together. Magnus, already hyper-aware of the proximity of Alec’s lips, watched as the other young man moistened them with his tongue and spoke again.

 

“I said something to them this time, Magnus,” he whispered.

 

It was his turn to watch Magnus’s beautiful lips as they curled into a smile. It was a bittersweet sight made worse as those lips formed the words  “I’m proud of you, Alexander.”

 

There was nothing _to be_ proud of. It had gone terribly. Enough so that part of Alec’s anxiety attack had been fed by questions of whether or not it had been with it at all.

 

He let out a mirthless laugh. “You shouldn’t be. I only made things worse.”

 

Magnus pulled away, studying Alec’s face. “What did they do to you?” he asked, ready to put an end to the whole lot of them.

 

“They turned their hatred on me,” Alec said, his gaze falling down to his and Magnus’s hands. “I told them that if they laid a hand on Meliorn that that would be the last time that they had hands. Jonathan pulled his whole ‘my father will hear about this’ Draco Malfoy thing, and insinuated that the only reason I was sticking up for Meliorn is that I must be screwing him as well. He asked if I was the one who stuck it in or the one who took it up the ass.”

 

Magnus bristled as he briefly saw red and felt bile rising up his esophagus. “Did you say anything back?”

 

Alec snorted and wiped away tears he hadn’t been aware had formed in the corners of his eyes. He shook his head. “I asked him if he spent a lot of time thinking about my ass and me getting it on with other dudes. God, you should have seen his fucking face.”

 

Magnus knew he shouldn’t laugh, knew that the timing was inappropriate. And yet he couldn’t help himself. The thought of the horrified look on Jonathan Morgenstern’s face (Raj, Aldertree, and the rest of their cronies no doubt had similar expressions on their own) at the prospect of having homoerotic fantasies was too much.

 

It took Alec all of two seconds before his head was thrown back in laughter as well. They held on to each other as their laughs provided relief from all of the negativity of the evening.

 

Once he got back some of his control, Magnus shot Alec a suggestive look. “To be fair,” he said in a flirtatious tone, “you have a _fantastic_ ass. It’s an instant eye magnet, I swear. I physically not NOT stare at it.”

 

A blush spread over Alec’s entire face before he was laughing once more, doubled over and clutching his stomach. He fell over backward onto the bed, still holding himself.

 

Magnus smiled widely as he watched him. Whenever Alexander laughed or smiled genuinely, his whole face was engaged. Magnus swore that the glow emitted from it was the closest a mortal man could come to divinity.

 

When Alec settled down again, he reached out a hand to Magnus and pulled him down beside him onto the mattress. Magnus rested his head between Alec’s shoulder and the crook of his neck. They clasped their hands together pointed at the ceiling and stayed like that for an unknown, unimportant length of time. They were content to bask in the presence of each other and just _be,_ together.

 

Quiet moments of respite like these when Alec stopped overthinking everything and could forget about the internalized nonsense going on inside, were the best of his life. These were the times where his and Magnus’s complicated relationship was at its healthiest. And oh god was he trying to get better at that. It was easy for them to pretend nothing else existed outside the walls of the treehouse when it was like this.

 

Sadly, there was still more to the story that Alec needed to work through, and his mind slipped its leash, breaking the spell, but only slightly.

 

“That wasn’t the end of it all,” Alec confessed quietly. Shoulder to shoulder with Magnus, their fingers intertwined—this was how they should be able to face the world. There were just...things that needed to change before then.

 

Magnus lifted his head to see Alec’s face. “Did they try something?” he asked in a taut voice. Magnus—ironically, if he thought about it—swore to God that he would end anyone who tried to hurt his Alexander. He might not be able to stop his stepfather, but he’d never let anyone else lay a hand on the people he loved.

 

That last thought—love—left an ache in his heart and in his stomach.

 

Magnus knew that he was in love with Alec. And he was pretty sure that Alec loved him back. But their relationship was...unorthodox.

 

They’d been best friends when they were kids and had stayed that way until middle school. Shifting social circles and the fears of self-discovery had led them to distance themselves from one another. Remaining polite, casual acquaintances until their sophomore year, Magnus and Alec finally reconciled their friendship after being partnered together for a school project. And where else would that have happened other than in their home together?

 

Last year, things got complicated again. While their friendship blossomed once more, something else bloomed as well. It felt terrifying and confusing and thrilling and had kept Magnus and Alec orbiting around it and each other. That was, until the party.

 

Every year to mourn the end of summer vacation, Idris’s teenagers threw a party at what had once been a campground until the ’90s. Alec had never been to a party before that night. He usually left that stuff up to his brother, Jace, and sister, Izzy. And up until that night, he’d never even had a sip of alcohol that didn’t serve a religious purpose.

 

The culmination of alcohol, excitement, and unresolved tension led to Alec pulling Magnus off into the trees and kissing him. Kissing evolved into a long overdue make-out session. 

 

Things went downhill fast when their bodies began craving _more_. The second they stopped to catch their breaths, they were almost caught by Jace and his long-time girlfriend, Clary, who clearly intended on boning.

 

Luckily, Magnus and Alec managed to make their retreat unnoticed before anyone lost more than their shirt. But it had been too close for comfort for either of them, and neither had handled it too well.

 

A lot had happened in the seven months since. Alec and Magnus were more than just friends, but they weren’t dating per se.  They didn’t refer to each other as ‘boyfriends’ or say ‘I love you.’ Kissing only happened on occasion, and physical intimacy consisted of holding hands, hugs, and snuggling when they could manage it. But they were working on that.

 

They had to keep everything between them a secret. Magnus hadn’t even told the friends he considered family about the two of them. For Alec, discovery meant rejection and ostracization from his family. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for his parents to send him away to “get better” or to disown him, maybe even kicking him out of the house. For Magnus, at best he ran the risk of great bodily harm and at worst a burial plot next to his father and a devastated mother.

 

All the secrecy and caution kept whatever they had from feeling like a real relationship most of the time. It was insane, but neither Magnus or Alec could think of giving up on one another. So they made it work for now. In a few more months they could figure the rest out from the freedom of a college campus five states away.

 

Alec shook his head and brought their hands to his chest. “No, I left before they could say or do anything else.” Magnus relaxed a tad, thankful no violence had happened or would need to happen...for now. He waited once more for Alec to find the right words. Alec rubbed circles into the back of Magnus’s hand (mirroring Magus’s action from earlier) and chewed his lip thoughtfully.

 

“I thought that after I got home I could just make it through dinner and lock myself in my room for the night and deal with it,” he said, breaking the silence, “but the world just couldn’t let me have that.”

 

Alec continued to fret Magnus’s hand with his thumb. It was so smooth compared to his own. Alec thought once more about how Magnus’s hands might contain some kind of magic (both light and dark). Some of that magic was helping soothe him right now, and he knew that Magnus appreciated the intimacy of it as well.

 

“We were all talking at dinner tonight—well, everyone else was talking—and dad told us that two women who just moved into town were looking to join our congregation.  Dad was all set to until he found out that they were looking to join _together_.”

 

Jace and Izzy had been quick to call their father out, only for their mother to chastise them for being disrespectful and lecturing them, yet again, on Leviticus. Alec endured it all in silence. He rarely spoke to anyone in his family more than was necessary anymore—even his siblings. He didn’t have the words or the energy for it. He knew that arguing with their parents once they had made a decision was futile and didn’t want to sit through any more lectures spiels than he absolutely had to.

 

Part of Alec’s brain worried that he’d be speaking one day and unintentionally out himself, or that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back from saying something about it the next time his parents causally made a homophobic comment.

 

Robert and Maryse Lightwood’s actions reminded Alec that he would never truly be accepted by his family. His parents would cease to see him as their son. To them, he’d just be another sinner destined to burn in hell for all eternity. And all because he physically could not be attracted to women, despite years of prayers and penance.

 

Because the person he loved beyond measure and couldn’t ever see himself living without was Magnus.

 

Dinner had just added insult to injury and served as the tipping point for a massive mental breakdown. Even though he’d most certainly regret the decision later, getting punished for ditching dish duty and leaving the house was preferable to having an anxiety attack in front of his family. It took the last of his will power and ability to think rational thoughts to get him to the treehouse and send that text. The second after Alec hit the send button the floodgates opened.

 

Magnus pressed a tender kiss to Alec’s shoulder and squeezed his hand once more. “I’m so sorry, Alexandar,” he murmured.

 

Alec released their hands, gently shaking out the cramps in his fingers from having had them bent for so long, and slipped an arm around Magnus, pulling him in close. Magnus, not even considering looking this gift horse in the mouth, adjust himself to snuggle into Alec’s chest more comfortably.

 

“I can’t wait until we graduate,” Alec said, wrapping his other arm around Magnus. “Things will be better once we’re in New York. We won’t have to deal with those high school assholes anymore. Or our parents—at least for most of the year. We can start our life together.” Magnus and Alec closed their eyes and let themselves fantasize about the future.

 

The process of applying for different colleges and universities had been especially stressful for them. They worried about being separated by too great a distance between whatever school they chose, not wanting to hold the other back, and never getting the chance to finally explore what it would be like to be a couple. However, luck had finally been on their side, and they both received an acceptance letter to the same university in New York City.

 

“We’ll room together until we can get jobs and our own apartment,” Magnus stated. At this point, the two of them already had everything almost set in stone, but no matter how many times they went over it, the hope and excitement their dream offered never waned. Going back and forth, they laid the whole thing out like a story.

 

“We can decorate the room just like this, so we’ll have a piece of home with us,” Alec replied thoughtfully, and Magnus thought that his heart couldn’t hold any more love for him without bursting. Sometimes one of them would add a new detail or experience into the mix, helping to keep things from becoming too mundane.

 

“We can push the two beds together to form one queen sized bed and sleep together every night.” Magnus didn’t mean it in a sexual way (although he most certainly hoped to explore that possibility when the time came), he simply meant the act itself. He could imagine few things feeling safer and more intimate than going to bed and waking up beside Alec.

 

Alec turned his head down to press a kiss to Magnus’s forehead. “I want to sleep next to you too,” he whispered. He released his hold on Magnus slightly so that he could cup the other’s face in his hand.  He surprised both of them by making the first move, but the next thing they knew, Alec and Magnus were exchanging lingering tender kisses. They didn’t feel the need to turn it into a hot and heavy makeout session. Instead, they let their lips convey the unspoken feelings between them. Still, it left them dazed and feeling as though they were walking on air.

 

God, things are so much better when Alec didn’t overthink them. That’s the only reason why he was able to do what he did what he did next.

 

“We could do that tonight,” he suggested, resting his forehead against Magnus’s.

 

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked, trying to process the words that had just left Alec’s mouth.

 

Alec nodded slightly. “Yeah, I am.” They both needed this if they were being honest.

 

“Ok then,” Magnus agreed. A wide smile spread over his face.

 

It was with great unwillingness that they separated and didn’t fall asleep then and there. They needed to get blankets and pillows set up first and to text their families to let them know they wouldn’t be coming back tonight. Both said they had left to go study for midterms at a friend’s house and decided to spend the night there, but would be there in the morning to get ready for school. A second message got sent to said friends asking them to cover for them if anyone asked, and that they’d explain at school the next day.

 

Setting an alarm for 5:30 am, they plugged their phones into the rechargeable battery packs they kept stashed, turned off the strands of lights that had called to Magnus hours earlier, and settled in for the night.

 

There was something so perfect about the way their bodies fit together, like two perfect circles entwined, as Magnus and Alec held each other as if they were the most precious thing in the world. And honestly, they were to one another. Even the criticizing voice belonging to Robert Lightwood that plagued Alec day in and day out, keeping him awake until 3 am some nights, couldn’t make a valid argument against this. The pope couldn’t make any argument he’d be willing to hear out.

 

Worries about missing homework and an early morning training session with Jace in the school’s weight room became insignificant. The insane question he wanted to ask Magnus about could wait until morning.

 

Because there, hidden amongst the trees from the rest of the world, with his face nestled into Magnus’s soft hair, Alec was home.


	2. Bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kiss me on the mouth and set me free." 
> 
> A morning of many firsts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went through several different planning stages and possible ending before I decided on a chapter of 99% happiness. The ending was supposed to take a very sharp 180° from how it began, so y'all lucked out! 
> 
> Thank you to @Books4coffee for helping me problem solve the beginning, and as always to my incredible beta, @Nan_ette. She is actually an angel, and no one can convince me otherwise <3<3<3
> 
>  
> 
> Song for chapter 2: "BITE" (with some nods to "WILD")
> 
> Remember to use #ThereForYouFic if you are live-tweeting!

A combination of three things woke Magnus up the next morning before their alarm went off. The first was a steady stream of little snores coming from his bedmate. Being that this was their first time spending the night with one another since they were thirteen—definitely the first time they’d slept so close, Magnus was unaccustomed to the adorable, yet jarring sound. 

 

The second factor was that Magnus’s left arm had gone numb overnight. Apparently, he and Alec had ended up spooning at some point in the night, and playing big spoon to Alec Lightwood meant that he had slept with a lot of weight on his arm. Not that he was complaining in the slightest, but Alexander wasn’t exactly a small person. The man was as tall as a tree and all the sports training he did over the years was a gift to both of them (occasionally his work-outs happened on the same days as Alec’s, and boy was that a sight that sent Magnus’s chaotic bisexual heart into cardiac arrest). 

 

Well, maybe only one of them reaped the benefits of those beautifully sculpted muscles. Because that third cause of Magnus’s excessively early morning? That third thing was that he was painfully aware of a very different appendage of his pressed firmly against Alec’s sleeping form.

 

“Fuck” he hissed, try to put some distance between their bodies without waking Alec up. Unfortunately, Magnus could only move so far with one dead arm still pinned under a solid sleeping body and the other held tight to Alec’s chest, and in the end, only managed to untangle their legs and angle his hips away from Alec’s back.

 

God this was awkward. Magnus cursed whatever divine entity it was who got their rocks off at his and Alec’s suffering. Alec would freak out if he realized what had happened. 

 

In hindsight, Magnus knew that this situation was inevitable. He was a teenage boy who just spent the night pressed up against the guy too attractive for words he was head-over-heels in love with. It also didn’t help that dreamworld Alec Lightwood had set a precedent of leaving Magnus with a serious case of morning wood. Of course his hormones were having a fucking field day.

 

Cursing under his breath once more, Magnus stared down at his  _ little problem _ . He lucked out and it wasn’t as bad as it could be. Not that he could have “taken care of it” like he would have had he been alone in his own bed if he wanted to. That would just be weird. And creepy.

 

Instead, Magnus took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and tried conjuring up the most boner-killing images he could think of. Easier said than done when you’re laying next to Adonis-in-mortal-form.

 

Eventually things “died down” so to speak, and Magnus could focus on getting at least one of his arms free. It took some finesse, but he managed to slide both of them out of their confines, albeit a bit begrudgingly. Magnus propped himself up into a seated position, and without the support of another body holding him up on his side, Alec rolled over flat on his back.

 

As he massaged feeling back into his arm, wincing as pins and needles appeared, Magnus became captivated by Alexander for the ten millionth time. The sun had begun to peak through the leaves of the forest, just enough to fill the treehouse with dim, pale light from the skylight overhead. But it was enough for Magnus to make out the features of Alec’s sleeping face and the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

 

Alec’s bed head went everywhere, although Magnus’s own hair couldn’t be much better off. His nostrils fluctuated slightly with every snore that hitched his breath. Alec’s full lips were parted slightly and Magnus unconsciously brushed a thumb over his own, remembering the powerful intimacy of the kiss they’d shared just hours ago; his heart leaped at the memory. Magnus watched as Alec’s eyes fluttered beneath his closed lids, and despite the dim light, he could even make out Alec’s long, delicate eyelashes seem to brush his cheeks at the movement. 

 

Magnus couldn’t fight the urge to rub Alec’s brow gently. This was the most beautiful his Alexander had ever looked. It was the most peaceful he’d seen him in years too. It was also the safest.

 

If he ever got to see this visage illuminated under the morning’s first full golden rays of sunlight, Magnus would probably propose then and there.

 

Reality came rushing back in all too soon when the alarms on both of their phones went off. Alec jolted awake at the noise, and just like that his soft face was replaced with a grimace from being woken up so abruptly in such an unpleasant fashion. Magnus sighed, mourning the loss, and reached over to silence their phones.

 

With a groan, Alec turned over and buried his face back into the pillow they’d shared. Magnus heard a muffled “I don’t wanna” as he did so. So Alec Lightwood wasn’t a morning person, huh? Adorable.

 

“C’mon,” Magnus prodded him gently, trying and failing not to smile. “We have to get up now.”

 

“Too early,” Alec moaned, blindly reaching for Magnus. “Come back and cuddle me.”

 

Forget smiling. Magnus's lips were curled up into something between a grin and smirk. “Come here and kiss me,” he challenged.

 

“You don’t play fair,” Alec whined, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

 

“Never have,” Magnus quipped. “That’s how we became friends in the first place. And loopholes exist for a reason, darling.”

 

As he slowly propped himself up, Alec thought back to the first day they’d met. Ten years ago Magnus had been the new kid in Alec’s first-grade class and had been a royal pain in the teacher’s ass since day one. Alec, having been the most serious and well-behaved student in the class had been buddied up with Magnus in hopes that his presence would mellow the new kid out. While the two became thick as thieves—thieves with a brand new treehouse to hide out in, their teacher’s plan hadn’t worked. On the contrary, Magnus had awoken Alec’s rebellious side.

 

Magnus always made Alec want to break the rules, do things they weren’t supposed to. He made Alec, who was supposed to be the poster child of perfection, do things that he definitely should not want to. And that’s where all the trouble began. 

 

Magnus drove Alec wild in the best and worst ways possible. And while Alec got hung up over things or felt guilty about them, god was there something so good about being bad when it came to Magnus Bane.

 

Remembering only the good times, Alec rolled his eyes, stretched out his back, and chuckled. “I hate you,” he said sarcastically, meaning the exact opposite.

 

Before Magnus had time to think up a clever comeback, Alec was sitting on his knees, hand on Magnus’s neck pulling him in to press their lips together. Magnus was momentarily caught off guard by Alec’s boldness but quickly sank into the kiss. He cupped Alec’s cheek in one hand while the other tangled into his hair. 

 

This is the way that things should be between them.

 

Alec hummed in content as their lips moved in tandem. He may not be a morning person, but kissing Magnus was a more than a fair trade-off for a few extra minutes of sleep. And having just woken up, and it being such an early hour, Alec’s brain wasn’t awake enough for his cruel inner-critic to tell him that kissing the life out of Magnus was a dirty, perverted act.

 

Although, part of his blissfully empty head was definitely do to oxygen deprivation. He’d already been lightheaded due to quick puffs of air through his nose having been the only way he’d gotten any air since he and Magnus had started kissing, but then Magnus’s tongue found its way in his mouth and Alec’s mind ceased to function at all.

 

Both boys pressed their foreheads together gasping for air as Alec released Magnus’s bottom lip from between his own. “Well that’s one way to wake up,” Magnus panted. “Wouldn’t mind getting used to that in the morning.” Alec chuckled as best he could in response. As Magnus’s senses came back to him he said a series of ‘thank you’s in his head that his previous problem hadn’t returned during the steamy exchange.

 

Alec took a little longer to recover. He still felt (pleasantly) dizzy and overwhelmed by it all. He hadn’t kissed Magnus like that since the party all those months ago. And he hadn’t needed to be drunk to do so. The fear that Alec would need the assistance of some liquid courage any time he wanted to kiss Magnus and not feel guilty for it afterward had secretly plagued him ever since then had been. 

 

In reality, it seemed that all Alec needed was a need a good night’s sleep (the best he’d had in years) next to the man he—

 

“I love you,” Alec breathed out before he could think twice.

 

Both Magnus and Alec froze, holding the breaths they’d just gotten back as the words hung in the air between them. Just hours before neither of them thought they’d ever be able to say the words, at least the way that things were now. Last night they had kissed each other hoping that actions spoke louder than words. And yet it seemed that a repeat of those very actions—with a bit more intensity behind them—were the catalyst that Magnus and Alec needed.

 

They pulled back to face one another. Alec was already starting to panic when Magnus grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands and pulled him into a searing kiss. It had all the power of their makeout-session powered behind the intimacy of the ones from the night before. 

 

Ten years of friendship; four years of attraction; seven months of seriously trying to make their undefined, complicated relationship work—all of it went into that kiss. 

 

Magnus and Alec were left breathless once more by the time it broke off. Looking up at Alec, finally seeing the love those hazel eyes held for him, Magnus felt like he was seeing in color for the first time. He felt like the future they fantasized together was finally becoming reality.

 

Magnus felt like he could see the person he wanted to be. It was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

 

“I love you too,” Magnus responded. “God, Alexander, I love you so much it hurts.”  

 

***

 

By the time Magnus and Alec had finally left the treehouse it was well after 6:00. After their declarations they’d exchanged several more tender kisses, and neither wanted to let go of the other when they went to hug each other goodbye. Saying goodbye meant leaving the safety bubble of their treehouse and going back to pretending.

 

With one final parting kiss and exchange of “I love you’s,” Alec and Magnus went their separate ways.

 

Alec’s elation and the tingling sensation of severely kiss-swollen lips carried him all the way home. 

 

Magnus loved him back. Finally, something in their lives had finally gone right.

 

It wouldn’t solve all of their problems, and would likely cause more trouble down the road, but Alec wasn’t going to worry about that now. And he refused to let all of the hatred he’d internalized over the years ruin this for him. 

 

But while everything that happened yesterday up until last night with Magnus didn’t matter anymore to him anymore, Alec still had to face his parents.

 

Although he had been expecting it, Alec still almost jumped out of his skin when Maryse Lightwood pounced on him the moment he walked into the house. “You're half an hour late,” she said in her ‘mom-voice’ Alec had learned to fear over the years. 

 

“Where were you?” she interrogated, “Where did you go last night? Who were you with?”

 

“I told you, I forgot I had a study session at Steve Underhill's house, and I spent the night there,” Alec replied, hoping the lie was convincing enough. “We stayed up late working and I was tired already from lacrosse, so I slept through my alarm.”

 

Maryse’s nostrils flared and she raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? Because your text said that you were studying for your midterms, but those happened all the way back in January.”

 

Leave it to his lawyer mother to catch that discrepancy. “I meant to say ‘mid-unit’ tests. I have a huge one coming up for chemistry, and you know that I struggle the most with that class.” Alec hoped that rooting the lie in this truth would make it believable enough for his mom to drop it. 

 

Maryse's mouth was drawn into a hard line as she stared her son down with an impassive look on her face. Alec had become accustomed to feeling as though everything he said and did were being closely examined under a microscope to not flinch under his mother's scrutiny.

 

“Your lips are puffy,” Maryse stated, catching Alec off guard. This woman noticed everything.

 

Alec hadn't thought to make up a cover story for  _ that _ . Although neither he nor Magnus had anticipated what had transpired this morning happening. “We ate a really salty pizza and chips,” he offered up weakly.

 

Before Maryse could say anything else, Alec cut their confrontation short. “Look, mom, I gotta get ready for school yet, and Izzy's gonna be pissed at me for kicking her out of the bathroom before she's done with her hair and makeup.” He needed out of this conversation before she could press him for any more information.

 

“First of all, watch your language,” Maryse cautioned him. “Secondly, we will be having a serious conversation about this tonight with your father.”

 

“Fine.” Alec's stomach tied itself in knots as he walked past her. Dealing with his mother was hard enough, but add his father into the mix? Alec shuddered at the thought.

 

Instead of letting his anxiety get the better of him, Alec thought about Magnus. His heart soared at the memory of how what had started out so bad had turned into something so beautiful.

 

Whatever problems they faced, they'd figure out what to do together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a schedule in place, so I don't know when the next update will be, but I want to apologize now for what is coming in the next few chapters. Hold this soft chapter close to your heart and remember that Malec will have their happy ending. Eventually.
> 
> I always love to hear your thoughts and feelings, so please feel free to share them in the comments here and/or on Twitter :)
> 
> Thank you for everything, my lovelies <3
> 
> (And yes, I did use the Malec breakfast-in-bed clip as inspiration. You're welcome :P)


	3. The Fault In Our Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And I don't wanna let this go  
> I don't wanna lose control  
> I just wanna see the stars with you.
> 
> And I don't wanna say goodbye  
> Someone tell me why  
> I just want to see the stars with you."
> 
> Painful situations, painful choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you to each and every one of you lovelies for reading this story. You're the best! I love all of you. Now grab your tissues because I made my beta @Nan_ette cry with this chapter.
> 
> Second, READ THE TAGS!!! This is the chapter where the angst and violence warnings really start to apply.
> 
> Finally, I know that the song for this chapter, "The Fault In Our Stars," isn't off of Blue Neighborhood. At first, I was inspired by "BLUE," but I found that this song was a bit more fitting thematically. However, there are still vibes from "BLUE" in. Full disclosure, not all the songs I'm using for this fic are off of Blue Neighborhood; it's more about the world the album and music video trilogy create that makes this a Blue Neighborhood AU. But all the songs are by Troye and work together to create the atmosphere and vibe for this story.
> 
> Comment or live tweet using #ThereForYouFic to yell at me for hurting you.

As Alec had expected, Izzy had been less than thrilled about giving up the bathroom mirror so her brother could take an ice-bath of a shower. She had been going all-out with her hair and makeup (bigger and bolder than her usual glamorous aesthetic), and the way she had styled her school uniform today came dangerously close to breaking Idris High School’s staunch dress code. Alec knew his sister well-enough that to know to know the reason why. Isabelle Lightwood didn’t dress up for anybody but herself. And if she was this glitzed up it could only mean one thing: she needed the self-esteem boost.

 

Even though he might not talk to his family, his siblings included, Alec did pay attention. Izzy had always struggled with English Lit. classes, her mind being wired better for the sciences, but this year had been especially hard for her. The only reason his sister had passed her class last year was because Alec had helped her significantly with her paper. Despite being up to his neck in his own papers and study guides, Alec had gone through a book he knew that Izzy had actually enjoyed reading— _ The Catcher in the Rye _ —and made a list of possible topics to write about and put a color-coded sticky note for each on pages with possible supporting evidence.

 

Knowing that his sister would fight him on it if he tried to hand it to her directly, Alec had left the book on Izzy’s bed while she had gone to do some retail therapy at the mall with Clary and Magnus. She had been desperate enough to actually accept his help, and when she achieved a B+ and rare nod of approval from Maryse, Izzy had actually broken out in tears.

 

Izzy had started her Junior year strong until her grades started to slip again, and as a result, their impossible-to-please mother had been come down even harder on her than usual.

 

To top it off, Izzy had just split up with her fairly serious boyfriend over the weekend, so of course she was feeling pretty shitty about life right now and wanted to move on. Alec felt guilty about cutting in on her self-care.

 

Because if Izzy still needing to pick up where she left off, the Lightwood siblings got out the door late and stepped foot in their shared classroom five seconds before the final bell signaling the start of the first period sounded. Because Izzy had such a brilliant mind she was already taking Alec’s senior-level chemistry class with him.

 

They quickly made their way to their seats, and Alec noticed that his  _ chemistry partner _ ’s seat was also unoccupied. Alec didn’t think much of it. Magnus frequently arrived a few minutes after the bell sounded. Everyone thought that Magnus’s tardiness was due to sleeping in late or some other poor excuse for getting a late start. But Alec knew the truth. Magnus was actually a naturally early riser. Every morning he would make breakfast and pack a lunch for his mother in addition to his own. On the days he was late to school it was because he and his mom had gotten to sit down and eat their breakfasts together before rushing off to the busy day ahead.

 

But as more time passed, Alec became increasingly anxious. This was his and Magnus’s only class together and the only time Alec saw him during the day that wasn’t just in passing. They’d been lab partners since the class that brought them back together. 

 

While Alec struggled with the subject, Magnus had a gift for chemistry. Partnering up also gave them the excuse to be in very close proximity to one another. Because they couldn’t hold hands in school like heteronormative couples, Magnus and Alec rested their pinky fingers next to one another so close they could touch when they wanted to but still far enough apart so as to be inconspicuous. Under the table, they would press their knees against each other, and could often stay like that for the entire class. Alec’s legs were infamous for taking up too much room, so no one thought twice about it if they saw anything at all.

 

These gestures were so small that they went unnoticed by their peers and teacher but were extremely intimate public displays of affection at the same time.

 

The absence of Magnus’s touch akin to the sensation of one missing their wedding ring. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, Alec fired off a text to him:

 

_ Where are you? _

 

He tried paying attention to the formulas the teacher was writing on the board, but Alec’s mind was elsewhere. He felt his phone vibrate in his lap.  _ ‘Not coming today,’  _ Magnus had replied. Alec’s anxiety spiked through the roof.

 

_ What’s wrong? What happened? Are you ok? _

 

Alec couldn’t give a damn about whatever his teacher was prattling on about. Something bad had obviously happened to Magnus and time slowed to a crawl as as Alec waited to hear back from him. 

 

Finally, he got a response:

 

_ I’m safe. Meet me at our place after school. Please. _

 

Breathing a small sigh of relief that at least Magnus wasn’t in immediate danger, Alec had just enough times to send back  _ ‘Ok. I love you.’  _ before the teacher called him out in class for being on the phone.

 

***

 

Alec was an anxiety-ridden mess for the rest of the day. Had he been able to, Alec would have ditched school entirely to go be with Magnus. But skipping lacrosse practice would be suspicious enough as is, and the last thing either of them needed was for someone to notice that their coincidental absences and start spreading rumors.

 

During lunch, his brother and teammate, Jace, who Alec talked to more than Izzy but still kept at an arm’s length from his personal life, asked why Alec had missed open gym that morning. Alec had mumbled something close to what he told their mother and hoped that it wasn’t too obvious that he was checking his phone every thirty seconds. He had texted Magnus a few more times after chemistry but had only gotten short, sometimes only one-word texts back. Now they had stopped altogether. Alec knew that this meant that Magnus needed space, and he would give it to him, but he kept checking his phone anyway in case Magnus sent out an SOS.

 

As they took off for their next class, Alec pulled Jace into an empty hallway. He hoped that this wouldn’t bite him too hard in the ass. “Jace, I need you to do a huge favor,” he said in a low voice.

 

Jace gave him a look of concern. “Is everything ok, Alec?” His brother’s uncharacteristic behavior hadn’t gone unnoticed.

 

Alec took a deep breath. “I need you to tell Coach Morgenstern I won’t be at practice today.” Jace looked like he was about to say something, but Alec went on: “Please, Jace. There is somewhere else I really need to be.” 

 

They were quiet for a moment while Jace examined his older brother critically. He was so much like Maryse Lightwood sometimes that it was easy to forget that he had been adopted. His eyebrows knit together as he asked, “Alec are you in some kind of trouble? You know you can talk to me, right? I'm your brother. If you're caught up in something or got some girl pregnant or whatever, you can tell me and we'll figure it out together.”

 

A wave of guilt washed over Alec. He and Jace and Izzy had been so close growing up. But over the past few years, Alec had pulled further and further away from them. He feared that by letting his siblings in he would let his biggest secret slip without meaning to. And while Izzy and Jace were far more tolerant of human sexualities, Alec worried that that acceptance excluded family members. He also worried that even if they were ok with him being gay that they would be angry with him for not telling them sooner.  

 

Still, despite the guilt, a part of Alec wanted to laugh at the thought of him ever getting a woman pregnant. Maybe if his 14-year-old self's dreams of praying and punishing himself hard enough that he magically woke up straight came true. Or if he and Magnus ever used a surrogate...

 

Alec quickly shook the thought from his head. This wasn’t the time or the place for thoughts like that. “Jace, I...I can’t tell you where or why or what is going on.” He saw a flicker of hurt in Jace's heterochromia eyes. “It isn't because I don't trust,” Alec said, trying to reassure his brother. He took a deep breath. “It's because I trust you that I am asking you. This is something that's...that I need you to trust me on too.” 

 

Alec wasn't very good with words on a good day. On a day where he kept imagining a litany of horrors having befallen the love of his life and needed to ask for Jace’s help without outing himself, he was hopeless.

 

It took a few moments, but Jace nodded in agreement just as the bell rang. He pulled Alec in for a quick hug before students poured out into the hallway. “I'm always gonna have your back, Alec.”

 

***

 

At the end of the day, Alec was off and out the door before Idris High School’s final bell sounded to release its students from their daily seven-hour long prison sentence. He’d asked to go use the restroom five minutes before school ended so that it wouldn’t be suspicious if he took his things with him and didn’t come back to class before students were dismissed. He didn’t want anyone to see him leaving, much less his teammates. They’d be pissed enough to want to kill him tomorrow when Coach Morgenstern ran them like dogs (more so than he usually did for at the beginning of the season) for Alec’s unexcused absence.

 

But boy would his coach have been proud of how fast Alec made it to that treehouse. After sending a text to Magnus letting him know he was on his way, Alec stuffed his phone and jacket in his backpack, tightened the straps, and ran. His six-minute mile time served him well, and he covered the four miles that separated the school from their sanctuary in no time. Adrenaline was a hell of a thing.

 

It wasn’t until Alec reached the foot of the ladder that he stopped to take a breath. Putting his arms above his head, he tried to slow his breathing. But he couldn’t let his jelly-like legs give out on him yet. Putting “mind-over-matter” to the test once more, Alec climbed up to the treehouse despite his muscles screaming in protest. At the top, he rapped his and Magnus’s secret knock on the trapdoor, waited a few seconds, and used his dwindling stamina to push the door open and climb inside.

 

Magnus exhaled the breath he felt as though he had been holding in all day. Hours had passed since this morning and he had spent nearly all of them alone with his thoughts, most of that time here in the only place he felt safe aside from Alec’s arms. 

 

He had tried texting Alec earlier, but between the poor signal and his exhaustion with the world, Magnus had found the act too taxing. He’d have called, but Alec was in school and the call could have dropped at any moment. It wasn’t worth it. He received several more messages from concerned friends asking his whereabouts that he had no way of answering, Magnus had given up entirely and just tossed his phone away from himself. It was too much to deal with. 

 

Eventually, messages from Alec and his friends alike had stopped coming. Until a little while ago. His phone had buzzed once more, and Magnus didn’t even need to look at it to know that it was Alec letting him know that he was on his way.

When Alec had finally arrived, far sooner than Magnus had anticipated, he didn’t see the other right away. Magnus had curled himself up into a ball in the far corner of the room on the air mattress. He’d concealed himself even further from the world by hiding under the covers. The pillow and blankets they had shared still carried Alec’s scent, and they had been the only thing keeping him sane all day.

 

“Magnus?” Alec called tentatively. He felt the flames of panic that had been burning low inside of himself all day flare up. Was Magnus not here? Had something else happened while Alec was stuck at school? He would search the entire forest if he had to if it meant bringing Magnus back safe and sound.

 

Relief washed over Alec the moment he heard Magnus’s voice. “Here, Alexander.” 

 

Dropping everything as he went, Alec was over by Magnus’s side in three quick strides. He knelt down by the air mattress. “Magnus, are you ok?” His throat felt dry, partially from panic, partially from overexertion.

 

“I've been better,” Magnus answered in a wry voice from underneath the covers.

 

Alec's heart clenched like a fist. “Please talk to me. I've been so scared all day. I don't even care that I ditched practice. Fuck that. Nothing is as important to me than making sure you are alright.”

 

Tears stung both of their eyes. Alec wanted to know everything right away, but also didn't want to push Magnus too hard, and he was ready to move heaven and earth to make things better.

 

Magnus didn't know what he'd done to deserve this man in his life, but he was more precious to him than anything else in the world. He slipped a hand out from under the covers and winced slightly as Alec took it in his own. As Alec turned it over, Magnus heard him inhale sharply. He’d only landed a few hits, but they were enough to have left his knuckles noticeably bruised.

 

Alec held his breath as he stared at the red discoloration on Magnus’s hand, noticing that the swelling. Then he noticed the dried blood caked under and around his nails. 

 

It felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over Alec’s head.  _ No _ , he thought.  _ Not again _ …“How bad?” he asked. It took everything in him not to pull the blankets off Magnus as though he was ripping off a bandaid. “Magnus, please,” Alec begged. “How bad?”

 

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Magnus uncurled himself and sat up, letting the blanket fall away. He watched Alec’s eyes go wide and start to fill with tears as he assessed the damaged.

 

Magnus’s face had always made Alec stop and stare; he was ethereally beautiful in his eyes. But now that face that he loved was marred and discolored by cuts and bruises. There was bruising along Magnus’s jaw and both cheekbones, and traces of dried blood under his nose. His left eye, the side of his face that had taken the brunt of the blows, was nearly swollen shut and turning black. Topping it off was a split lip that wasn’t serious enough to warrant stitched but had to sting like a bitch.

 

While he was looking Magnus over, Magnus had a chance to take in Alec’s appearance as well. His face was red and splotchy and covered in perspiration. His hair stuck flat to his head, wet with sweat. In fact, Alec was covered in sweat from head to toe, causing his grey T-shirt to cling to his body. Magnus wished he was seeing the sight under a different, more fun set of circumstances.

 

“Wow, we both look like hell,” he laughed half-heartedly.

 

“This isn’t funny,” Alec answered in a tight, clipped voice. “I’m going to fucking kill him,” he muttered and shot to his feet. He made it two steps before the headrush and his dead legs almost sent him toppling to the ground.

 

Magnus shot to his feet and caught Alec just in time. “You aren’t going anywhere, not like this.” He helped Alec down to the bed to sit beside him. “Did you run all the way here?” Magnus asked in disbelief. 

 

Alec shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I just...I just needed to get to you. I couldn’t think about anything else.”

 

“You’re so fucking lucky that I love you and my punching hand is out of commission or I’d kick your ass,” Magnus warned him, wrapping him in a hug. He didn’t even care that Alec’s shirt was soaking and smelly.

 

Alec enveloped Magnus in his own arms and held him as though he might disappear. “Magnus, I’ve never been so scared in my life. You didn’t show up for school and I thought…” Alec pulled back to look Magnus in the eye. “But then I heard from you but I still didn’t know what was going on the entire day. I just...Fuck, Magnus. I should have been here sooner. I should have been taking care of you. You shouldn’t have had to be alone all day.” His gaze dropped. 

 

Alec brought Magnus’s hand up to his lips and kissed it delicately. It reminded Magnus how his mother used to kiss his childhood cuts, scrapes, and bruises to make them ‘better.’ “You’re here now,” he said, tilting Alec’s chin up to face him. Love welled up in his chest, and he leaned in to press a kiss to Alec’s soft, full lips.

 

How had things gone to hell so fast? This morning they’d finally confessed their love for one another, and it felt as though nothing could touch them. Then Magnus’s stepdad, still drunk from the night before, had taken issue with Magnus just getting home that morning and having worried his mother, and clocked him. His stepfather rarely laid a hand on him, knowing that unlike his mother Magnus fought back and could hold his own. But it was still wasn’t a fair fight. Magnus was a 17-year-old fighting off a much larger middle-aged man for fuck’s sake. After hiding in his room and waiting for his stepfather to either pass back out or leave for work, Magnus had retreated to the woods to lick his wounds. He’d had the presence of mind to grab some medical supplies he and Alec didn’t have stashed away, as well as some food and water. Magnus knew that it would be a long day.

 

Now he and Alec were right back where they started last night. It was a twisted way of coming full-circle, despite the change of positions and revelations that had happened along the way.

 

Ignoring the dull ache in his face and hand and the battered parts of his person not visible through his sweatshirt or his physical body, Magnus entrapped Alec’s lips in a searing kiss. A harsh sting from his split lip sent his pain receptors into a frenzy, but he didn’t care. He needed this. He needed to ground himself somehow. He needed to feel alive again.

 

A sudden coppery taste on his lips caused Alec to pull back. He had just enough to time see the source before Magnus pulled him back in. Grunting in protest, Alec pulled away again, only for Magnus to lean in after him, still chasing his lips. 

 

“Magnus, stop.”

 

Magnus stopped to stare at Alec, trying to register the cause of his reservations. Was he feeling guilty again? It was then that the pain in his lip fully registered in the forefront of his mind. Fuck.

 

He watched in confusion as Alec crawled off the mattress and over to the discarded first-aid kit Magnus had dug through the night before and earlier in the day. He pulled out a wad of gauze, antiseptic, and a tube of antibiotic ointment. 

 

Coming back over, Alec pressed the gauze to Magnus’s lip and watched a spot of blood bloom through the pure white fabric. He had always been protective of the people he loved, and this wasn’t the first time he had played nurse to one of them. As kids, he was always the one to bandage up Izzy and Jace when they got hurt playing, seeing as how his parents were busy all day and entrusted Alec with looking after his younger siblings. One day, while left to amuse themselves in between services, it had been Alec who stemmed the bleeding while Izzy ran to get their parents’ attention when Jace had tumbled over the back of one of the church pews and nearly bitten straight through his lip when he hit his chin.

 

Luckily, Magnus’s injured lip wasn’t nearly as bad, and Alec got it cleaned up relatively quickly. He almost screamed, however, when Magnus attempted to kiss him again in an apparent effort to undo Alec’s work while hurting himself again in the process. He whined in when Alec rejected his advances.

 

“Please,” Magnus pleaded, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I just want things to go back to how they were this morning. I rather you be the reason I’m in pain.”

 

“I don’t want you to be in pain, ever,” Alec’s voiced cracked. He felt his own tears start to escape as well. He brushed hair out of Magnus’s face and once again looked at the price Magnus had paid for coming to be with him last night. This was his fault. Guilt couldn’t give him a break even for a day, despite how hard he tried, and Alec let every ounce of it wash over him. If he wasn’t born wrong, if Magnus hadn’t gotten involved with him, if he hadn’t made Magnus fall in love with him, this wouldn’t have happened.

 

The idea Alec had been toying with for awhile came to mind yet again. He’d questioned talking to Magnus about it last night, but things had been so perfect. This morning he thought that perhaps he could preemptively scrap the plan entirely, but now…

 

“We can’t keep doing this,” Alec choked out. 

 

The devastated look Magnus gave him shattered Alec’s heart like someone had taken a sledgehammer to a hand mirror. It was the most pain he had ever felt in his life.

 

“Are you...Are you breaking up with me?” Magnus asked in a broken voice. As much as his stepfather’s fists had hurt, Alec telling him he loved him only to rip it away so soon after was infinitely worse.

 

Alec’s eyes widened in horror and he forcefully shook his head. “No!” He cradled Magnus’s face in his hands. “I love you, Magnus. I just...I think we need to rethink things. Just...just until school is over.”

 

Magnus sniffed back a runny nose. He couldn’t meet Alec’s eyes. “How so?” he asked in a voice that was barely there. His own anxiety started acting up as his thoughts began to spin.

 

“I think,” Alec started, pausing to get his thoughts in order, “I think that we should...have some better cover.” Magnus finally looked at him to fit him with a quizzical look. “I’ve been thinking, and...what if...What if we pretended to date other people—girls. What if we pretended to date girls?”

 

Magnus blinked repeatedly as he tried to process what he’d just heard. A million thoughts and emotions passed over him. The idea of his very gay boyfriend ever being in a relationship with a girl made part of him want to scream while his dark sense of humor made him want to laugh at the absurdity.

 

“That’s…” Magnus shook his head and Alec dropped his hands. “Alexander, that’s insane.” 

 

Alec chewed his lip as he rose from the floor to sit back on the bed. “I can’t...Magnus, this can’t happen again. Not if I can do something about it.”

 

Part of Magnus loved Alec even more for his selfless nature and the lengths he would go to to help others. Another part wanted to throttle him. Grabbing fists full of his hair, Magnus let out a long groan.

 

“Please, Magnus,” Alec whispered, cautiously rubbing soothing circles into Magnus’s back. “How many times has he done this because you’ve been with me? Or had to lie about something having to do with me?”

 

Magnus deflated. Even after the first incident had left him traumatized, he held no resentment towards Alexander for his stepfather’s violent tendencies. Alec had been the one who patched him back up again even then. But he could see where Alec was coming from. 

 

God, this whole situation sucked.

 

“What did you have in mind?” he asked, his voice somber.

 

Alec took a deep breath. “I haven’t thought everything through. But if we had girlfriends, we’d have an easier time making people think we were straight.”

 

Magnus had to admit Alec had another point there too. “Have you thought about who?” Alec shrugged.

 

“Not really. Lydia Branwell maybe?” He knew that pairing would delight his siblings. Izzy, despite not being super close friends with the other girl, had not-so-subtly let him know on several occasions that Lydia had a crush on him. And Jace kept pestering him about letting loose for once. “ _ Who knows _ ,” he’d said, “ _ maybe you’ll even get to have some ‘fun.’ _ ”

 

“I guess I’ll have to find someone,” Magnus said ruefully. “Camille would probably be my best bet.”

 

A nauseous feeling settled in Alec’s stomach. Camille had a reputation at school for using people. She traded off guys every few weeks when she got bored with them, yet for some reason they all stuck around, still clamoring for her attention. 

 

They both knew that Magnus would be taking a risk with her, but Magnus hoped that the fact she was the one who had been vying for HIS attention for the past few weeks would work in his favor. “So how far are we going to go to sell this?” he asked. If they were seriously considering fake-dating other people while having a relationship of their own, Magnus and Alec really should talk about what they were and weren’t ok with doing.

 

“I guess...I guess as much as it takes to sell it.” Alec ventured. “To make it seem real.”

 

“So holding hands, kissing, touching, etc...” Magnus trailed off. Alec nodded in agreement. “So where do we draw the line at?” It was an uncomfortable question, but one that needed to be asked.

 

That nauseous feeling Alec had increased tenfold. “Um, I don’t...I mean, if you wanted to I wouldn’t blame you, I know you like girls too, and I’m totally ok with that and Camille is really pretty—I mean  _ I _ don’t think so, but I don’t like girls. Like at all. But—” Alec knew he was rambling. He was grateful for the momentary distraction of Magnus cutting him off by putting a finger to his lips.

 

Magnus knew that Alec loved and accepted him for who he was.  Magnus had been the first of them to come out. And while his bisexuality had confused Alec at first, Magnus had explained it to him, and Alec had been nothing but supportive. 

 

“Please just say what you mean, Alexander,” Magnus said. They wouldn’t get anywhere talking in circles like this.

 

Flushing in embarrassment, Alec turned the subject over in his mouth once more before speaking. “I know that things might happen, and I won’t be mad or stop loving you if they do, but please...please don’t sleep with her.” Alec was well aware that Magnus wasn’t a virgin. And despite his religious upbringing, Alec thought that it was unrealistic to expect teenagers not to be having sex (both of his siblings sure hadn’t waited for marriage to punch their V-cards). 

 

But that had happened before they were together, and now that he and Magnus had come out and said they loved each other, the thought of Magnus being intimate like that with someone else felt deeply wrong to Alec.

 

Magnus smiled gently at him and reached out to hold his hand. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Magnus had always been a one-soul-at-a-time kind of guy. That was part of his reservations with this whole girlfriend charade. “I only ask the same of you with Lydia.” He said it in a slightly teasing manner, hoping to lighten the incredibly depressing and angsty mood.

 

Alec chuckled slightly. “I don’t think I’ll have any trouble with that.” He was thoughtful for a moment. While they were on the topic, he might as well just come out and say it.

 

“Besides, I always pictured that my first time would be with you.” Whenever the idea of sex came up, Alec had always painted a mental picture of it being the two of them. And while the thought of them together like  _ that _ made him feel everything from guilt, to shame, to lust, to many things in between, Alec knew that if he were open to being intimate with  _ anyone _ in the future, it would be Magnus.

 

Magnus’s heart filled painfully full. Struggle as he might with finding the right words to say, sometimes Alec Lightwood could wax poetic with the best of them. If Magnus was honest with himself, he always saw Alec being the first guy he ever slept with too. Despite having fooled around with a foreign exchange student, Imasu, enough so to affirm that, yes, he was bisexual as hell, they hadn’t had the connection Magnus needed to feel comfortable going all the way. With Alec, however, he felt connected on a soul-deep level.

 

“You never cease to amaze me,” Magnus murmured and stroked Alec’s face. Alec closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. One day they’d take that step. But as for now…

 

“Are we really going to do this?” Magnus asked in a whisper. He hated the whole bloody plan, but yet, there was sound logic to it. “What if we need one another?”

 

“Then we meet right back here,” Alec whispered back, interlocking his fingers with Magnus’s free hand. “If it gets too much, we can call it off. I want us to have our future together, this is just a way to try to get us there.” He hated it just as much as Magnus did, but this was the only way Alec could think of for them to make it out of this shitty small town somewhat intact.

 

A sinking feeling washed over Magnus. “This is probably the last time we can see each other for a while, isn’t it?” Both his and Alec’s hearts broke at the realization. Their entire dynamic would have to change to keep up the charade.

 

“Probably,” Alec answered in a quiet voice. He wondered if this would have been less painful had he waited to voice his true feelings for Magnus. Why did he have to keep being the reason Magnus hurt?

 

It was all finally too much for Magnus, and he felt ready to burst at the seams. “Can you please just hold me for a little while?” he asked in a small, trembling voice. He tried not to think of the fact that he wouldn’t even be able to kiss Alec goodbye properly with his busted lip.

 

“Absolutely,” Alec breathed, trying to keep it together himself. He pulled Magnus down onto the air mattress and, similar to how he had found Magnus, pulled the blanket up over both of their heads.

 

Wrapped up in each other under their blanket bubble, hidden away from the world, they finally let the dam burst. Magnus sobbed into Alec’s chest, releasing all the fear and hurt from his stepfather’s beating and the hurt of having to say goodbye to a loved one. 

 

Fat tears fell from Alec’s face into Magnus’s hair. He hated Magnus’s stepfather. He hated his own father. He hated himself and the fact that this seemed to be the only way for him to keep Magnus and their secret safe. 

 

But most of all, Alec wept for the loss of his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, lovelies! Thank you for reading this chapter. I'm sorry if your feels are in pain. It will be super heavy for a long time going forward, but there is a happy ending for our boys!
> 
> I just wanted to take a moment to talk about something covered in this chapter and future chapters of "There For You." Violence committed towards members of the LGBTQ+ community is, unfortunately, all too real. It's important to talk about these things, but more important to stop them and prevent them from happening at all. Vote and advocate for LGBTQ+ protection and equality. Reach out and be supportive. There are resources out there such as The Trevor Project you can go to for help. A wealth of them can be found on the official Human Rights Campaign (HRC) website.
> 
> Stay strong, lovelies. You aren't alone, and you are loved <3


	4. The Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Growing distance from your explanations  
> We're getting deeper in this mess  
> Take careful contemplation  
> I'd rather be spitting blood  
> Than have this silence fuck me up."
> 
>  
> 
> One long chapter of suffering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies! I apologize for how long it has taken me to update this story. I've had to deal with A LOT in my personal life recently, and it got in the way of writing. But the good news is that this monster of a chapter is finally complete and I can't wait to share it with you! And as always, I have to tell you all how Nannette is the sweetest, most kick-ass beta I could ever dream of having <3
> 
> Grab a box of tissues, my friends. Things are going to get rough, and all of those angst tag warnings are going to come into play.
> 
> Song for chapter 4: "THE QUIET"
> 
> Please feel free to yell at me in the comments or by live-tweeting using #ThereForYouFic :)

The boys were correct in thinking that they wouldn’t be seeing much of each other anymore. It began as soon as they parted once more. Alec had stayed with Magnus for hours, neither wanting to let go of the other and have to say ‘goodbye,” and hadn’t made it back home until well after curfew. His parents had been waiting for him in the kitchen and berated him for being out so late and not letting them know where he was and for the angry phone call they had received from Coach Morgenstern regarding his absence at practice. 

 

Alec took it all in complete silence, feeling too much like a hollowed out shell of himself to care. He knew that there was nothing he could say in his defense, and he didn’t have the energy to try. All his willpower had gone into parting ways with Magnus. He and Magnus had cried their hearts out in that treehouse and left behind a breadcrumb trail from the shattered pieces that remained.

 

The Lightwoods ended their tirade by sentencing Alec to be grounded for the next week and demanding he hand over his cellphone. Alec did so slowly but without complaint. Even though it had just made a painful situation even worse, he was grateful that he had deleted all of his messages with Magnus on the way home. Something in his gut had told him it was something that he had to do.

 

Walking up the stairs to his bedroom, Alec could hear his parents talking in low whispers in the kitchen. He should probably care more than he did. Should probably be worried about how his siblings were and how they were going to be affected by this, and how to answer the questions he knew were going to come his way tomorrow. Instead, he just wondered whether or not his parents could tell that his red, puffy eyes were due to crying, or if they thought he had been out getting stoned. Maybe he should consider trying.

 

Slowly, Alec peeled off the smelly clothes that he had no idea how Magnus had been able to stand to have so close to him for so long and hopped in the shower. He didn’t feel like fighting with his siblings over it tomorrow or waking up any sooner than he absolutely needed. The borderline boiling hot water not doing anything to make him feel like a human again, Alec climbed into the cold sheets of his bed, not even bothering to dress again. That required energy that he just didn’t have anymore. Staring up at the moon through his open curtains, fat tears slid down Alec’s face once more. Funny, he thought he’d run out earlier.

 

Hiding his face under a pillow so as to stifle any noises that might wake his family, Alec sobbed until the last bit of consciousness he had left him in carrying him through a night of sleep as empty and dreamless as he had gone to bed feeling.

 

***

 

The next day Alec woke up with his eyes almost swollen shut but did nothing more than shrug and mumble out “allergies” when people asked what was wrong. Not that Magnus was one of those people. He couldn’t be. Alec and Izzy had arrived at school to find that their chemistry teacher had switched up the seating assignment for the rest of the school year so that everyone could work with someone new for once. So instead of sitting next to Magnus as he had desperately hoped for, Alec took his new seat next to his sister’s former lab partner, Lydia Branwell. The universe sure knew how to kick him when he was down.

 

The swelling in his eyes lasted the majority of the day but was gone before he could hope to use it to convince his lacrosse coach that his unexcused absence was warranted. At practice, all of Alec’s teammates (save for Jace)  gave him murderous glares for the suicide sprints they had to run. Alec, wondering if he’d feel any different inside if he did just drop dead during practice, pushed himself through them, legs still sore from his run the day before until he practically ran himself into the ground.

 

The only one who really seemed to care about Alec’s off behavior that day was Jace. If anyone else noticed, they didn’t say anything, probably thinking that Alec deserved it. He asked Alec what was wrong, but Alec simply shook his head, muttered “nothing,” and walked away while some other players came over and started talking to Jace. He stayed quiet the entire way home from practice and through dinner that night, something that would become part of his daily life in the next month and a half.

 

***

 

Magnus and Camille had gotten together not too long after his and Alec’s arrangement had been made, and Alec asked Lydia out not too long after he got his phone back. But dating and school kept Alec from being able to talk to Magnus anyway. He had tried to reach out to Magnus for help when he started to struggle with chemistry once more, but Camille took up so much of the other boy’s free time that he couldn’t do it. So instead, Alec spent even more time with Lydia as she tried to help him through their units. Admittedly, Lydia was a nice girl and a pretty good tutor, but Alec still longed for the days where working for hours on conversions was the closest thing that constituted as a date between him and Magnus.

 

It was during one of these tutoring sessions that Lydia first kissed Alec. He had been taken aback in surprise by it, but quickly kissed her back in order to save face when she started stumbling out an apology. The kiss was...awful, but Alec made himself keep doing it. Imagining he was kissing Magnus helped him at least seem into the kiss, but Lydia’s lips still felt foreign and weird against his. He sent up a prayer of thanks when they finally stopped. Although he questioned whether or not he should feel grateful or guilty when Lydia smiled a megawatt smile at him and breathed out, “Wow, you’re really good at that.” 

 

Alec sent up another prayer of thanks when his fake smile held and he didn’t cringe out of his skin or get sick. But the temptation was there.

 

During that same period of weeks, massive changes occurred in the sports sphere of Alec’s life as well. For several years he had played as the team’s goalie, his status as a giant tree of a human working as an advantage when it came to covering it. But now the position gave Alec way too much time to think. His thoughts would drift from watching the play to how much he missed Magnus and wondered what he was doing. Alec also thought of all the ways he had ever fucked up in life, all the ways he had ever hurt Magnus or other people, how shitty of a person he was and acted towards Magnus, and wondered whether or not he was already in Hell.

 

This led to Alec letting in and being hit by more shots than he blocked. It also meant lost games, more yelling from his coach, and more running for his team. Alec knew that they were all on the precipice of jumping him in the locker room, and even Jace was starting to get fed up with his brother.

 

Eventually, Coach Morgenstern decided to try something unorthodox and put Alec on offense for the day. His skills were rusty, but Alec turned into a whole new player that had been on the field up until then. The adrenaline coursing through his veins and need to make quick decisions kept Alec’s mind quieter than his previous position, and his height once again worked in everyone's favor. It was quickly decided that Alec Lightwood would be moving to offense and that the secondary goalie, Steve Underhill, would finally get his moment to shine.

 

Alec should have started to feel a bit better about life at that point, but he didn’t. Only he knew that the ferocity he displayed out on the field came from that place within himself where he buried all of the anger and frustration at the world and his hatred towards himself. It was a release of these things for sure, but not a healthy one. When Alec’s lungs burnt from how hard he was pushing himself, he told himself that he deserved the pain. It was the same for when he threw himself in the way of other players to intercept the ball and received nasty bruises and cuts and kept running even when the air had been knocked out of him. And if he wasn’t pushing himself to the limit during practice, then he was working out to the point of near-exhaustion in the weight room.

 

But the worst thing was the way he ended up taking his shit out on other people and hurting them in the process. Alec knew he was large and intimidating enough to make the opposing teams blink first when he ran at a player head on, but when they didn’t move out of the way, Alec just kept going anyway. He’d maneuver just enough so as to only slam into their shoulders, the pain from which only made him go harder, all while his coach and teammates and spectators cheered him on. Lydia especially had become his number one cheerleader, coming to each and every home game.

 

Coach Morgenstern encouraged Alec’s brutal tactics and even told him ways that he could practically bowl over his opponents without getting carded. These all worked a little too well, however, and the resulting incident left Alec feeling like a monster. 

 

During a game against Edom Prep, Alec’s intensity and one-track-mind when it came to scoring caused one of the boys on the opposite team to get severely hurt when Alec knocked him over, unknowingly snapping his ankle. Jonathan stepped on and then broke the kid’s leg once he was on the ground. The referees' attention had been on Jace making a goal off of Alec’s pass that they hadn’t noticed that the boy was hurt and on the ground until after the Idris team added another two points to the scoreboard. 

 

The Edom boy had to be carried off of the field and transported to the hospital via ambulance. Coach Morgenstern let his team know that it didn’t matter because they got to keep the points and that they now no longer needed to worry about facing off against one of Edom’s star players for the majority of the season.

 

Alec held it together until he made it into the shower that night. Locked behind the bathroom door under the steady stream of water, Alec let his guilt consume him. It hit hard and brought along with it his old friend, anxiety. He curled up in a ball on the shower floor, trying to self-soothe and breathe his way through it. This was the type of anxiety attack Alec usually needed Magnus to help him work through, but this time he was on his own, and he was failing miserably.

 

Alec barely registered it when Jace knocked on the door, telling him not to use up all the hot water.

 

***

 

At the same time, Alec was going through all of this, Magnus was suffering in his own way as well. Nothing could have prepared him for the nightmare that dating Camille Belcourt actually was. She was an extremely needy girl and wanted attention on her at all times. As her dutiful boyfriend, it was on Magnus to fill this void in her life. She was also extremely clingy and wanted to be on Magnus’s arm, or in his lap whenever she could. Magnus felt oddly like a piece of meat and a mannequin at the same time when he was with her. Camille would show him off to those she wanted to impress and stick her tongue down his throat in front of those she wanted to depress. But Magnus stayed with her.

 

Yes, there was a certain alluring, dangerous charm about her, but mostly Magnus stayed because it was what he thought he had to do. What was the alternative? Keep sneaking around with Alexander until they slipped up and all of Idris and the surrounding towns knew their secret? Maybe only one of them could have pretended to have a girlfriend while the other stayed “single,” but hindsight was 20/20. They were too deep in this mess now to go back.

 

Eventually, Magnus came to realize that one of the biggest reasons he was with Camille was because she had ensured that he only had her. Not only did Magnus no longer spend time with Alec, but he didn’t get to see or talk with his other friends anymore either. Camille’s constant need for attention meant that he couldn’t focus on anybody else. And despite the fact that the Belcourt’s were actually quite wealthy, she always wanted Magnus to pay for everything, and as a result what little free time he didn’t spend with her went towards the job that Magnus had to get. He got lucky enough that it was one that allowed him to do homework during his downtime.

 

Dealing with Camille was incredibly exhausting. She went from hot to cold in the blink of an eye and was the most passive aggressive person Magnus had ever had the misfortune to know. When she got upset she would go into long sullen silences and ignore Magnus’s existence completely. Given the lack of communication with Alec and his other friends, this radio silence was especially painful and effective in bending Magnus to Camille’s will.

 

A month into their sideshow of a relationship, Magnus discovered that Camille was a whole hell of a lot easier to handle when he had been drinking. And so he began to drink quite often.

 

Magnus had always considered himself to be a social drinker, having several drinks at the few parties he went to throughout the year, but attending parties was what one does when dating Camille. In fact, she was the one who threw most of them. Magnus began looking forward to the weekends just to have an excuse to get drunk at one of them.

 

It was during one of these parties, a little after Alec’s eventful study session with Lydia, that Camille pulled Magnus into her bedroom and tried her hardest to get him to have sex with her. She had been coming on to him for a while, but this time it seemed she had gotten fed up with Magnus pretending to overlook her true intentions when she did things like rubbing her hand up his thigh as her just wanting to hold hands. 

 

Yet now Camille’s intentions were all too clear as she had the majority of her clothes off the second Magnus closed the door behind them and got on her hands and knees to start unbuckling his belt. She only got as far as she did with getting into Magnus’s pants because he had been too gobsmacked by what was happening to stop her. But the second Camille started working his pants and boxers down, Magnus snapped out of his frozen state and practically lept backward.

 

“No, Camille,” Magnus said firmly before walking out of the room, fixing his pants as he went. His head spun, but he needed another drink. Grabbing a few wine coolers from the kitchen, Magnus sat in relevant quiet on Camille’s back porch, nursing his liquor and near-constant heartache. 

 

Eventually, he returned to the party after finishing off the last can. He and Camille needed to talk this out and set some ground rules. Trudging up the stairs as quickly as his slightly impaired motor functions would allow, Magnus made his way back to Camille’s bedroom. Not knowing if she was still in the bedroom, Magnus cracked open the door slowly to peek inside. 

 

He quickly wished that he hadn’t. The door and loud music had muffled the sounds at first, but there Camille was, as clear as day, doing what she had wanted to do with Magnus with another guy. Not wanting to see another second, Magnus closed the door, not caring whether or not they heard it, and trudged right back out to the porch. Feeling numb and betrayed, Magnus sat down to asses the wreckage that was his life. 

 

Because Camille had ensured that Magnus became solely dependent on her for human interactions, he stayed with her cheating on him. Despite her constant cheating thereafter. Their relationship was a facade anyway, and it is easy to fall into a routine of misery. Look at his mother.

 

So Magnus continued to date Camille, she continued to demand his undivided attention while sleeping with whomever she fancied when Magnus rebuffed her, they both pretended the cheating wasn’t happening, Magnus began to drink his woes away, and both of them saved face at school because that was just the way things were. And around and around they went like a demented Ferris Wheel.

 

Magnus wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking that he wasn’t using alcohol as a crutch. He knew exactly what he was doing. And yet even he was caught off-guard by how much of a problem it became. At first, it cost him his job when he showed up to work with a wicked hangover and couldn’t do what was needed of him. His boss knew right away what was up with his disheveled appearance and shitty work ethic (to be fair, it had already been pretty shitty for a while now), and let Magnus go at the end of his shift.

 

Losing his job—despite him not particularly caring for the reasons why he had needed it in the first place—had been one more blow Magnus didn’t need and served to give him more of an incentive to drink. The need to drink became so bad that he began sneaking small amounts of liquor into school with him for when he needed a pick-me-up. Unsurprisingly, Magnus’s grades had begun to suffer as well, leading up to the perfect storm that occurred the day Magnus got called down to the principal’s office.

 

Although hiring a new principal at the end of the school year was insane, Idris High School had needed to in the wake of the former principal’s scandalous flight from town with the mayor’s wife and a large amount of money embezzled from the school. Principal Luke Garroway, who had served as a police officer for a period of time, was much different from Principal Pangborn. Aside from his previous profession in law enforcement, the man actually cared for the students and their well-being and was a well-respected member of the community with a reputation of being firm but fair.

 

Principal Garroway had become concerned with Magnus’s sudden academic situation and wanted to get down to the bottom of things. Magnus was a well-known pain in the ass, but he had always been a good student. But when he entered the Principal’s Office, Luke quite literally sniffed out the root cause of Magnus’s issues the moment the boy sat down. Traces of the scent clung to Magnus’s clothes, and while he may have used mouthwash to erase the scent of alcohol on his breath, Principal Garroway knew that trick too.

 

Intoxication on school property was grounds for expulsion, but Magnus got very, very lucky, and was only given a few days suspension and a promise that his mother would be receiving a phone call about his behavior. Magnus thought that the unbridled look of terror on his face, especially when Principal Garroway had mentioned his step-father, might have played into his favor.

 

That afternoon, sent home early from school, Magnus turned his phone off to avoid the exorbitant amount of texts and phone calls Camille would inevitably send his way, especially when he failed to show up to walk her home from school.

 

Now Magnus was well and truly alone and the silence was deafening. Magnus had been able to appreciate the stillness of quiet before, seeing it as a relief from the chaos that usually surrounded his life and his mind, but now it just made him feel even more isolated. And that silence was allowing his mind to wander to everything he had been suppressing over that last few weeks. Over the last six years of Magnus’s life.

 

It was too much. Too much hurt and anger took over Magnus’s mind and he threw his backpack against the wall, widening a hole his stepfather had left before he went out of town for his business trip. Magnus hadn’t had the time to fix it yet. Taking a step back, Magnus surveyed all of the patchworks he had performed over the years. He had long ago stopped trying to paint over the new drywall, knowing it wasn’t worth the effort when his stepfather would likely leave another hole a week later. The site of the ugly wall and the knowledge that it wasn’t the only one in the house that looked like this only served to piss Magnus off even more.

 

Moving on autopilot with a mind full of fog, Magnus grabbed the nearest object and hurled it against the patch-work wall as hard as he could. The sound of shattering glass and pieces ricocheting off of the wall back at him snapped Magnus out of his haze. 

 

It took a second for Magnus to recognize what it was he smashed. Looking to the now empty spot to his right, Magnus realized he had thrown the crystal vase his stepfather had given his mother as a wedding gift. He smiled darkly to himself, feeling more catharsis than guilt.

 

Six years ago Magnus’s mother had married Donovan Smith out of financial desperation and the two of them had been paying for it ever since. Of course, Magnus had been too young to understand her reasons for doing so at the time, but as he grew older he had come to know his mother as a survivor. And surviving didn’t often coincide with happiness. Magnus had come to know this as a fact life, but it began to prove ever more true the longer he and Alec kept up this charade.

 

The feeling of relief Magnus had began to fade, and he desperately sought after it again. Going over to the china display cabinet whose glass panes had been broken years ago, Magnus pulled out a dusty set of crystal glasses and plates. These had been the ones his mom and stepdad had from their wedding reception. They soon joined the shards of the vase on the floor as Magnus smashed them into smithereens.

 

With each piece he threw down, Magnus channeled every problem he had and every person he was angry at. One piece was for Camille and the abuse she inflicted on him. One piece was for Alec for suggesting this separation in the first place. One piece was for Alec’s father and mother for how much they had fucked up their son’s view of himself and the world. And on and on until he spent the largest piece on his stepfather for all of the hurt he had caused and would continue to cause until the bastard drank himself to an early grave or wrapped his car around a telephone pole. Or until he killed someone else.  

 

Magnus was past the point of caring whether or not he got in trouble for breaking things. He’d be in a world of trouble anyway for getting suspended. But if it came down to it, he could probably use Donovan as a scapegoat and say the man broke everything in a drunken stupor.

 

Still feeling wired, Magnus went to look for something else of Donovan’s to smash when he felt the painful sting of his foot getting sliced open by all of the broken crystal.

 

“Motherfucker!” Magnus cursed loudly before limping to the bathroom. He propped his foot up on the sink to examine it and swore again at the large red spot that had formed on the bottom of his white sock. Magnus let out a long string of expletives as he cleaned and bandaged the wound.

 

Wondering why he was such an idiot and what personal vendetta the universe had against him, Magnus caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He looked like a complete wreck. Large bags hung underneath his bloodshot eyes, his hair was a disheveled mess, and his skin had lost what Alec called his “glow.” 

 

As he continued to stare into the mirror, Magnus was hit with a sickening revelation. “I’m becoming  _ him _ ,” he shuddered in horror. 

 

Walking around with anger in his heart, drinking excessively, and smashing things, Magnus had become the spitting image of his stepfather. Feeling like someone had punched him in the gut, he sank to the floor and began rocking back and forth. He didn’t want it to be true. He was better than this.

 

Sucking in air through his nose, Magnus tried to calm the storm brewing in his mind. He sat on the floor trying to figure out where it was things had gone wrong. His dad dying. His mom remarrying Donovan. Hiding his sexuality. Hiding his relationship with Alec. Entering into this fake relationship. Drinking. It was all laid out in front of him like a timeline.

 

The first two things Magnus had no control over. As much as he missed his father, he couldn’t bring back the dead. And his mother had made her choices. But the rest...those he could do something about.

 

Wiping tears from his eyes and making sure that his foot had stopped bleeding, Magnus made his way back to the kitchen, being careful to avoid the crystal carnage he had left in the living room. He opened the refrigerator and took out the remaining bottles of beer. Carrying them all in one trip, Magnus set about methodically opening and pouring out the alcohol down the kitchen sink. When they were all gone, Magnus set about disposing of all the alcohol in the house the same way.

 

Once the last drop of wine slid down the drain, Magnus heaved a sigh of relief. This was the first step towards taking back his life. The second was cleaning up the living room. After he finished, Magnus sent a text to Alec asking him to meet at the treehouse and prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that Alec would be able to make it.

 

***

 

Sitting in the treehouse waiting for his boyfriend gave Magnus plenty of time to think things over again. Every time he ran through it he always came to the same conclusion: anything would hurt less than the quiet, even getting beaten to smithereens by his stepdad. And even though things with Alec would still be complicated as hell, at least Magnus would have this weight lifted off his shoulders and he’d be free of at least one toxic relationship. He almost didn’t hear the secret knock he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, but the moment the sound registered in his brain, Magnus’s heart kicked it into high-gear.  _ He came. _

 

Magnus leaped to his feet and held his breath as the trapdoor opened and the love of his life climbed up through. They stared at one another for what felt like an eternity, finally allowed to give each other more than just a passing glance in the hallway. Magnus noted how Alec’s frame had become even more muscular and the aura of sadness he carried with him. Alec couldn’t help but notice how much thinner Magnus had become and the deep circles that had formed under his eyes.

 

This careful observation of one another ended when Alec dropped his bags and made it over to Magnus in two quick strides. He cupped Magnus’s face in his hands and held his gaze for a moment, seemingly looking straight into the other boy’s soul, before closing his eyes and crushing their lips together.

 

In an effort to reassure himself that this was real, Magnus fisted his hands into the front of Alec’s shirt and pulled him in closer. He felt one of Alec’s hands drop from his face and snake around his back and was soon pulled in so close that he was chest-to-chest with Alec. Magnus let go of Alec’s shirt so that he could loop his arms around Alec’s neck.

 

A levy broke as the two of them stood there kissing each other, and without knowing who started first, the salty taste of their combined tears was soon on each other’s tongues. Magnus pulled Alec down to the floor with him and they held each other while they cried, their kisses getting sloppier and sloppier.

 

“I missed you so much,” Alec murmured from where his head was tucked into the crook of Magnus’s neck.

 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you too, Alexander,” Magnus responded, nuzzling into Alec and running a hand through his hair.

 

They held each other for a long time, exchanging kisses intermittently. Any inner turmoil Alec had once had about kissing Magnus was long gone after forcing himself to kiss a girl for over a month. He had also learned that there was only one person he ever wanted to kiss for the rest of his life.

 

Eventually, they got to the point where if they didn’t start talking about why Magnus had sent out an S.O.S things would have progressed more rapidly than either of them were prepared for, mentally, emotionally, and supplies-wise. Teenage hormones and loneliness were working against common sense.

 

“So uh,” Alec began to say once he had caught his breath and Magnus was no longer in his lap threatening his sanity and self-restraint, “what is the emergency?”

 

Magnus fiddled with his hands a bit before taking a deep breath and mustering up the nerve to tell Alec his insane idea.

 

“I want to come out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about that for a cliff hanger? Sorrynotsorry for all of the angst this chapter, but hey, Malec always seem to find a way back to one another, don't they? :)
> 
> Thank you so very much for reading. I love you all <3


	5. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This voice inside  
> Has been eating at me  
> Trying to replace the love that I fake  
> With what we both need"
> 
> Honestly, this chapter is just one big feels fest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello, lovelies! No April Fool's Day joke here, just one massively feels-y chapter. Because why not when 3x16 is going to decimate our emotions tonight already?
> 
> Nannette, my girl, thank you for being my personal superhero and beta reading this chapter at one in the morning while you're on vacation and your laptop was being a pain in the ass. I cannot ever thank you enough, but I hope a dedication each chapter is a start <3
> 
> Song for chapter 5: "HEAVEN"
> 
> If live-tweeting is your thing, use #ThereForYouFic and tell me all your thoughts and feels :)

Alec stared at Magnus with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, what? You want to do what now?” Was he being serious? Call him crazy, but Alec didn’t have any desire to attend a funeral for Magnus for at least the next 80+ years or so. And even then, Alec planned on being by his side in life and in death.

 

Chewing his bottom lip, Magnus repeated himself in an earnest voice. “I want to come out. I...I’m tired, Alexander. And I’m hurting.” He hung his head at these words, feeling ashamed of how weak he had been.

 

A moment later, Alec had Magnus’s cheek cupped in his hand. “Hey, hey. Look at me.” Magnus looked up and Alec could see the tears forming in those beautiful brown eyes. He pressed a kiss to Magnus’s forehead before continuing. “I’m sorry if I’m coming off as unsupportive. That’s not it at all. I just...I’m just scared is all. I’d die if something happened to you.”

 

Magnus laid his hand on top of Alec’s and ran a thumb over the back of Alec’s hand. “I know you are, my love. But this...I need to do this.” 

 

He continued rubbing circles with his thumb while he thought of how to say what he was going to next. Magnus didn’t owe an explanation to anyone, and he knew that Alec would always be on his side, but he still needed to make him see just how deep this went. Taking a deep breath, Magnus began.

 

“Alexander, this whole fake dating thing...it’s not been easy on me. I can tell it hasn’t been easy on you either. It’s not healthy for me to go on like this. I know that you’re afraid. I am too. But, and please don’t take this the wrong way, the one thing that we don’t share is guilt and shame about who we are.”

 

A look of pain crossed Alec’s face before he hung his head shamefully. Magnus reached out and tilted Alec’s head back up so that they could look at each other in the eye once more.

 

“Hey, don’t. This isn’t me trying to make you feel bad. And it isn’t me trying to force you out of the closet either. It’s just…” Magnus trailed off as he prepared to open up about something he hadn’t ever spoken about in full to anyone.

 

“Did I ever tell you why I stopped believing in God and stopped going to church?” he asked.

 

Alec shook his head. It was a sensitive topic that they hadn’t spoken about in years. “You just said you couldn’t take my dad’s hellfire sermons anymore. I can’t blame you for that.”

 

Magnus smiled sadly. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s part of it. A lot of it, I guess. But it’s just...It’s more than that too. I just, like, I don’t like feeling like there is something wrong with me, ya know? And you know how being told that over and over can make you think that way. I know you do. And I had to get away from that.” Magnus stared down at his and Alec’s intertwined fingers—something that had happened subconsciously for both of them—and drew the strength he needed from Alec to go on. It was another moment before he spoke again, but this time Magnus seemed more confident in his words. 

 

“See, when I found out—when YOU made me realize I like guys, I felt guilty not because the bible told me I’d burn for it, but because you were my best friend, and I didn’t want to like, ruin that, ya know? And then we drifted apart and I had that thing with Dot and thought, ‘hey, maybe it was a fluke.’ Then Imasu came along and I felt it again, so I experimented with him. And I liked it. I really liked it. I don’t think that that makes me a bad person.”

 

Alec squeezed Magnus’s hand and shook his head. “No. No, it doesn’t.”

 

Looking Alec directly in his beautiful Hazel eyes and seeing that they held no judgment, only patience and empathy, eased any residual anxiety Magnus had left. “I guess what I’m getting at is that I don’t want to give up this part of me. And anyone who tells me that I need to, be it God or someone who is supposed to speak for him, in order to avoid damnation can just shut the hell up. ‘Cus if getting into Heaven means I have to lose this...very central, critical piece of myself, then I don’t want to go. I don’t think any real God or Heaven would discriminate against people for loving who they love in the way that I love you.”

 

A silence hung in the air as Magnus finished. It was a heavy revelation and gave Alec a lot to think about. But most of that could wait. For now, his boyfriend needed his utmost love and support.

 

Alec squeezed Magnus’s hand again and smiled slightly at him. “I love you too, Magnus. And if this is what you need to do, then I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

 

Magnus smiled and squeezed his hand back. “Thank you, Alexander.” Knowing that Alec had his back, despite the position it might put him in, meant the world to him.

 

The two of them held each other’s loving gaze for a while before Alec cleared his throat and asked, “So, uh, what’s the plan then?”

 

Blinking back to reality, Magnus scratched the back of his head anxiously. “I hadn’t really gotten that far.”

 

Alec was touched that Magnus wanted to tell him this news before anyone else, but he couldn’t help but laugh slightly. Magnus got a look on his face before he started giggling as well. Eventually, the two of them were laughing heartily with one another, effectively lightening the heavy mood that had filled the air.

 

Once they settled down, Magnus was ready to come up with a serious plan. “I’m going to tell my mom first. Donovan is out of town for the next few days, so we will have time alone together. I don’t think I’ll come out at school quite yet, but I want to break up with Camille before that.”

 

Alec wet his lips and asked a question that surprised himself just as much, if not more, as it did Magnus. “Do you want me to be there with you when you do?”

 

Magnus smiled at him warmly and caressed Alec’s face. “You offering to be there means more to me than you will ever know.” He paused to give Alec’s hand one more squeeze and take a deep breath. “But this is something that I need to do alone.”

 

***

 

The next morning Magnus got up early, wanting to get started on making a big breakfast for himself and his mother. He knew that she would be rightfully upset with him over his suspension, but if he were to fully explain everything, he would need to tell her  _ everything _ .

 

Well, mostly everything. Magnus wasn’t going to out Alec. But they had talked it over and Alec was comfortable with Magnus mentioning their relationship so long as he made it clear how important it was to keep his boyfriend’s identity a secret.

 

Magnus also wouldn’t be telling his mother about how, after getting caught up with one another, they’d started kissing again and one thing had led to another and he and Alec had made it all the way to third base for the first time. That was just something you didn’t talk to your mom about, and the jury was still out on whether or not Alec would be headed down a shame spiral because of it. But he had been ok with it afterward and later when he and Magnus had parted ways, still riding the high from his endorphins. Most promising, he had said he was still alright when Magnus texted him that night, so hopefully, the universe would let them count this one as a win.

 

Pushing aside his  _ very _ NSFW memories of last night’s treehouse encounter (which was not easy when it was ALEC FREAKIN LIGHTWOOD), Magnus went over the breakfast plan in his head.

 

“Mom, I’m bisexual.” Those words had to come out no matter what, regardless of what the consequences would be. Magnus didn’t think that his mother would have a negative reaction to the news, but there was no way of telling until he goes through with it. But he hoped beyond hope that he’d have his mom in his corner going forward. It would be so much easier if he did.

 

Lost in thought, Magnus almost burnt the pancake he was working on. He caught it just in time though, snapped out of his daze by the sound of his mom entering the kitchen. “What’s all this?” she asked, taking in the spread Magnus had laid out on the table. 

 

Magnus plopped the dark-brown-but-not-quite-burnt pancake on top of the rest and carried the pile over to the table. “Breakfast,” he replied, not yet able to meet her eyes.

 

“You know this isn’t going to get you out of trouble, right?” 

 

Magnus didn’t have to look at her to know she had fixed him with a “mom look;” he could feel its laser-pointer focus on him. “I was actually hoping that we could talk about that,” he said, finally looking up.

 

In Magnus’s opinion, Cahya Bane (technically Smith now that she was remarried) was one of the most beautiful women on the planet, but the death of her first husband, time spent living in poverty as a single mother, years she had been married to Donovan, and long hours spent at work had taken its toll on her. She looked tired all the time, and wrinkles had become increasingly visible. You’d never guess that she had had Magnus when she was only 23. Magnus had never wanted to be the cause of any of that mental or physical fatigue. It was the reason that he’d applied for so many scholarships and loans for college so as to place as little financial burden on her as possible.

 

Yet now Magnus could see the sadness and disappointment in her eyes that was undoubtedly the result of Principal Garroway’s phone call, and every fiber of his being filled with shame and regret. Against his will, tears began to slide down his face. He didn’t even want to think about how much she had undoubtedly been crying, or the number of tears he himself had shed within the past 24 hours.

 

“Mama,” Magnus’s voice cracked. He felt desperate to be a little kid again, back when he was too innocent to hurt his mom like this and could crawl into the safety of her lap. While he was far too big to do that now, he could still find comfort in his arms, if she let him.

 

Magnus didn’t have to worry, for Cahya had her arms wrapped around him tightly before he even got the chance to take a step forward. “Magnus, come here,” she cooed in his ear and held him even tighter. “We can fix this. You just have to explain to me. You’re a good boy, so I know there is more to this.”

 

“Mama, I did something stupid,” Magnus admitted tearfully. “And the thing at school, that’s only part of it.” His mother let go of him just enough to look at him and wipe his tears. She guided him to sit down at the table and took the chair next to him, holding his hand while waiting patiently for him to speak. Taking deep breaths to get his anxiety in check, Magnus began to open up about everything. 

 

“A little over a month ago, I started fake-dating this girl, Camille. And I started drinking because she is such a nightmare to have to deal with. She’s isolated me from my friends, forced me to get a job, and keeps trying to get me to sleep with her, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to be with her period.”

 

Cahya stared at her son with obvious confusion on her face. “Why are you with her then? What do you mean that you are ‘fake-dating’ her?”

 

The moment of truth had come, and despite all the mental preparation he had done, Magnus didn’t feel ready. But this was what he wanted and what he needed to do. “Mama, I’m bisexual. And I’m fake dating Camille because my boyfriend and I thought it would be safer for us to pretend to date girls until we graduated.”

 

A silence that seemed to stretch on for hours hung in the air while Magnus’s mom processed what he had just said. “You like boys?” she asked, finally breaking the quiet.

 

Magnus nodded and added, “And girls. I like them both.”

 

This time Cahya nodded, took another second that felt like an eternity. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, and Magnus’s heart sank before she continued with, “I’m not very familiar with these kinds of things.” Magnus looked up from where his gaze had fallen to see his mom smiling sadly at him. “I’m also sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me sooner.”

 

Magnus looked at her in shock. “No, Mama. No. It wasn’t you, it was Donovan.” 

 

His mother gave a sad, knowing sigh and pulled him in for another hug. “I love you, Magnus. And I love every single little piece that makes you _you_. If that means you find happiness with a girl or another boy, then I love that piece of you too.”

 

With tears steadily streaming down his face now, Magnus burrowed into the crook of his mother’s neck and hugged her even tighter. “Thank you,” he wept. “Thank you, Mama.” 

 

A monumental weight felt like it had been lifted off of him. His mom accepted him. His mom still loved him. Yes, he would still have to worry about Donovan and the kids at school, but for this moment Magnus let himself feel absolutely free.

 

When mother and son finally broke away from their hug, they laughed at the tear and snot stained state of themselves. “We had better start eating this lovely breakfast you made before the pancakes get too cold,” Cahya said, taking a napkin to wipe the mascara stains from her cheeks. 

 

It was already too late and the pancakes would have to be popped in the microwave, but neither of them minded much. After adding all of the desired toppings and fixings, the two dug in, just like they did every morning they could swing it. It made them both smile with the knowledge that their close bond was unshakeable, and maybe even closer now than before.

 

About halfway through his stack, Magnus looked up to see his mother looking at him with a glint of mischief in her eye. He swallowed hard and nervously asked, “What?”

 

The corner of Cahya’s mouth quirked up (Magnus clearly had inherited his smirk from her) and said, “So tell me about this boyfriend of yours.”

 

Magnus choked and flushed bright red. “ _ Mom _ ,” he said in an embarrassed and slightly exasperated voice. He knew she would ask about Alec eventually, but she had still managed to catch him off-guard.

 

His mother gave him another “mom-look” that told him he wouldn’t be getting off the hook with this one, and Magnus was forced to relent. However, just the thought of Alec was enough to make him start smiling and his eyes light up.

 

“Well,” Magnus started, “the first thing you should know is that I can’t tell you his name because it might endanger his safety and well-being and I’d die if that happened.” He stopped to gauge his mom’s reaction and continued when she nodded and didn’t press the point further.

 

“The second thing you should know is that I am absolutely, positively, head-over-heels-in-love with him.”

 

***

 

After breakfast, Magnus shot off a text to Alec letting him know that everything had gone well and that he loved him, and that his mom had given their relationship her seal of approval. 

 

Cahya had called into work and taken the day off, something she hadn’t done since Magnus had come down sick with the flu years earlier, and the two decided to head to the mall for a few hours and spend the day together. While they had been washing dishes Magnus had told his mom about some of the things he wanted to do when he could finally be out to everyone and be who he wanted. One of those things was to add more bold choices to his wardrobe and make things a little more colorful. A second one was to start experimenting with makeup. Almost immediately his mother had declared that a shopping trip was in order.

 

The two went from store to store, and Cahya insisted on Magnus trying on every beautiful piece they found. She bought him several shirts and pairs of pants, two jackets, shoes, and some jewelry and accessories, making sure he had full outfits to wear. 

 

When Magnus asked how they were going to afford everything, his mother told him that she had set aside some money whenever she could in a personal bank account separate from the one she shared with Donovan. All the overtime she worked really added up. One day she hoped to have enough to be able to divorce her husband and live on her own, but that would most likely not be until after Magnus had graduated college.

 

Magnus’s mother had always been his hero, but today his love and admiration for her grew exponentially. The woman had accepted him when he came out, approved of Alec and their wild plans, took him shopping, and she wasn’t even going to ground him for more than the weekend he was suspended. He truly could not express how thankful he was to have been lucky enough to be her son.

 

And now she was going to give him a makeover and teach him some of the fundamentals of makeup before they ordered in a pizza for dinner.

 

Sitting on top of his mom’s bed while she blended his eyeshadow into a smokey eye, Magnus was reminded of one of his earliest memories from back in time to when he was a very young boy. When his mother used to get ready in the mornings she would let him play with some of the makeup from her makeup bag to keep him entertained but still close to her. He smiles at the sudden nostalgia and his mom stops what she’s doing.

 

“What are you smiling about, happy boy?” she asks.

 

“Just remembering the last time we played makeup,” Magnus answers, his smile not fading for a second. Cahya smiles back at him before making Magnus close his eyes again so she can finish.

 

When she finishes, his mom hands Magnus a small hand mirror and he takes in all of the eye makeup. He could see hints of blue eyeshadow blended into the smokey eye and all of it had been topped off with a line of kohl. If he wasn’t afraid of messing up all of his mom’s hard work, Magnus would have started to cry.

 

“Thank you! I love it!” he exclaimed hugging his mom for the umpteenth time that day. 

 

It was moments like these when he and those he loves are truly happy that Magnus wants to freeze forever. In these moments, it seems like life is finally going the way it should, and the universe has finally stopped conspiring against them.

 

Unfortunately, all moments have to end sooner or later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: that bit about Magnus playing with his mom's makeup comes from something my mom would let me do as a little girl and the opportunity to include it here was too good to pass up.
> 
> I hope that you forgive me just a little bit for all that I have put you through the last few chapters, although I have a strong feeling you won't appreciate this chapter's cliffhanger ending. Please forgive me. At least incredibly soft content happened again in this chapter (among other things *wink*). I love you all and may we all survive 3x16 with something of our souls left intact.


	6. Ease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Take me back to the basics and the simple life  
> Tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease  
> Your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby  
> Holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night  
> -  
> I've been lyin' to them all  
> I don't need it anymore  
> Don't you worry about me  
> I'll be fine if I can breathe  
> I've been hidin' for too long  
> Taking shit for how I'm wrong  
> How I'm wrong  
> Always wrong"
> 
>  
> 
> Change and moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning // Right off the bat, I want to warn everyone that there is violence in this chapter, but it is nothing graphic or gratuitous. 
> 
> Next, welcome back, lovelies! Wow, I am so happy that I got this behemoth of a chapter done and out in a week. Thank you as always to my badass beta, Nanette, and to you, reader <3 This is one of my favorite chapters that I have written for this story, so I hope that you enjoy it too.
> 
> Let me know if I made you cry in the comments below and/or on Twitter using #ThereForYouFic
> 
> Song for chapter 6: "EASE"

Everything happened so fast that Magnus didn’t have time to truly process it until hours later.  One second he was hugging his mother, the next Donovan had materialized out of thin air and proclaimed  “What the fuck is going on here?”

 

In the blink of an eye, the entire world erupted into chaos. Donovan started screaming a litany of slurs and curse words as he wrenched Cahya away from her son and hit her. Once she disappeared from Magnus’s sight, Donovan unleashed his fury on Magnus. Time slowed to a stand-still then as he got on top of Magnus and the world went fuzzy between his body weight and the smell of alcohol on his stepfather’s breath and the man’s vice-like grip on his throat.

 

It sped back up when Cahya reappeared with one of Magnus’s textbooks and hit Donovan over the head with it screaming, “Don’t you lay a fucking hand on my son!” Not waiting for either male to recover, Cahya pulled Magnus up to his feet, draped his weight over her body, and started pulling him out into the kitchen. She had him call the police then and there while she threw together a bag of things for them, but Magnus couldn’t for the life of him remember what he had said, just that it had physically hurt to say it and he must have sounded like a frog.

 

He was still on the phone with the operator when his mom came back in and took the phone from him to give a more detailed report of the situation and how her husband had a history of violence. Magnus remembered seeing Donovan come into view over his mother’s shoulder and screaming for her to look out.

 

Then, in another moment that happened far too quickly for Magnus to fully comprehend, his mother had the frying pan he had used to make pancakes that morning in hand and had hit a charging Donovan with it. The man hadn’t even hit the floor before Cahya was pulling Magnus behind her as they ran to their neighbors' house, the Penhallow’s.

 

They waited there for the police and an ambulance to show up. Cahya answered most of the questions while the EMTs looked Magnus over, but the officer took off into the house after getting radioed in for help. Magnus and his mom were sitting together getting checked out in the back of the ambulance when the police finally hauled Donovan out of the house and over to the second ambulance. Cahya going full mama bear with that frying pan had clearly done a number on the guy. But any claims of innocence Donovan may attempt to claim in the future would be ignored completely as he screamed his head off about how he was going to “kill his bitch of a wife and her faggot son” and fought hard against the police to get away.

 

Once Donovan was securely restrained to a stretcher, the officer who had been questioning Cahya before that came back over to take a statement from Magnus and inform them that Donovan would be escorted to another medical facility than they were headed to while they figured out all of the things to arrest him on. Cahya stated in no uncertain terms that she wanted him charged with a hate crime on top of everything for his assault on her son. Given the things the officer had heard come from Donovan’s mouth himself, he didn’t put up any resistance to the mother’s demand.

 

After the ambulance containing the still belligerent Donovan drove off, Magnus and Cahya were taken to Idris Memorial Hospital for observation overnight. Once they arrived and were brought to their shared room, doctors and nurses came in to go through everything they needed to do and ask their own questions. They were informed that they would both be receiving a psychiatric evaluation in the morning before leaving the mother and son be for the night.

 

It was only about then that everything that had happened that night started to set in. Magnus hadn’t spoken except to answer questions and Cahya had reached her breaking point. She hadn’t been home in the past when Donovan had attacked Magnus to protect him, and now she was on a warpath.

 

While Cahya spoked animatedly to people over the phone, Magnus slipped his own out of his pocket and began typing out a text message to the only other person, besides his mother, who could help him get through all of this.

 

_Hey, Alec. I don’t mean to scare you, but something happened and I’m in the hospital._

 

***

 

Going to school without Magnus there was always strange. Alec never lost his habit of watching and waiting for his boyfriend to arrive in the morning and he had to remind himself that Magnus was at home facing a much bigger task than chemistry class. Quickly, he shot Magnus a text before class started.

 

_Good luck. Everything will work out. Love you._

 

Alec received Magnus’s text telling him that everything went well and that he and his mother would be spending the day together while on his way to his second-period class. The good news put a smile on Alec’s face, but he couldn’t stop replaying the conversation he and Magnus had had that night before.

 

How could everything Magnus had said about God and Heaven not send him into an existential crisis? It went against everything he had been told his entire life. And yet, it made complete sense. God had made him gay, and God wasn’t capable of making mistakes. Alec already had the “love thy neighbor” part down. The Lord himself knew how much he loved Magnus. But he was still working on that “love thyself” bit. Maybe seeing things from this new perspective would finally get him there.

 

After leaving that mental storm to settle, Alec became preoccupied with thoughts of what else had transpired between him and Magnus in that treehouse. It had been a multitude of things at play that had allowed them to go as far as they did. For one, all that time dating and kissing Lydia had made him even gayer, if that were even possible. No offense to Lydia, but those double X chromosomes guaranteed that they just weren’t compatible for one another. But mostly it had been that missing Magnus so much had made Alec want to be as physically close to him as possible, and his boyfriend had been in the same mindset. They wanted to kiss the sorrow in their lives away and feel each other without any more distance or barriers between them. Several articles of clothing hitting the floor later, they had been. And Alec didn’t regret it for a second.

 

Or at least he didn’t regret the act itself. The faint blush memories brought to his face, however, got him into a bit of trouble with his teammates.  Some had joked that it was due to finally getting his rocks off with Lydia. Jonathan and crew called him a pussy and said that blushing was “gay.” A comeback was sitting there on the tip of Alec’s tongue, but today was Magnus’s day to come out, not Alec’s through some throw-away comment.

 

Jace had glared at Jonathan and shoved past him to leave, but he didn’t say anything to anyone. He and Alec, in particular, were not on speaking terms at the moment. Alec, in his month+ of stupidity, had withdrawn from all of his family even more, and despite his best efforts, Jace had finally given up on reaching out.

 

But that night, the second Alec had received Magnus’s text about being in the hospital, he knew he needed his brother’s help to get to him. The hospital was too far away to get to by foot as fast as Alec wanted to get there, and he sure as hell was not going to go to their parents for a ride. Despite Alec being the eldest, it was Jace who had his own car and a license to drive. Alec’s anxiety spiked at the concept of being behind the wheel of a several ton metal death machine and having to spend hours with one of his parents sitting in the passenger seat next to him critiquing every move he made was enough to send him spiraling out. Jace, however, had been able to make it through all that and in celebration of him getting his license (and totally not because he was the favorite child) their parents had bought him a car. A car that Alec desperately needed to be in right this second.

 

Alec tried hard to compose himself before knocking on Jace’s bedroom door. He really did. But as his brother opened the door with a look of surprise on his face and a confused “Alec?” fell from his lips, Alec’s fear and anxiety began speaking for him.

 

“Jace, I need your help. I need you to drive me to the hospital right now. Something happened and I need to get there. I can’t...I can’t tell you why—I don’t even know why and…” Alec stopped to gasp for breath and grab fistfuls of his hair. “Please, Jace. I know I’ve been a really shitty person lately and I’m sorry. I don’t even deserve to ask you for something like this, but I need you. I need to be there.”

 

Jace took in the sight of his older brother on the brink of a meltdown for a few seconds before pulling him in for a hug. “Let me grab my keys and I’ll meet you at the car, ok?” he asked. Alec let out a huge sigh of relief and nodded when they broke off the hug.

 

The car ride to the hospital was spent in silence with Alec anxiously bouncing his leg up and down and checking his phone every thirty seconds to see if Magnus had sent him any more updates. He hadn’t.

 

When they arrived at the hospital  Alec could have screamed when Jace didn’t immediately unlock the doors for him to bolt out. He turned to face the driver seat with wild, frantic eyes, but his complaints died on his lips when he saw the way Jace was staring straight ahead with a hard look on his face. He could see Jace’s jaw flex as he grit his teeth from this profile view of him. But he could also see Jace’s own tears threatening to overflow.

 

“I just have one question to ask before I let you leave,” Jace said, still not looking at Alec. “Does this have anything to do with you asking me to cover for you the day you skipped practice and why you’ve been so weird lately?” He finally turned to look at his brother and Alec’s throat went dry.

 

Alec swallowed hard and nodded. “It has everything to do with it.”

 

Jace took a deep breath and hit the button to unlock the car doors. “Let me know if I need to come back and pick you up.”

 

Alec nodded and leaped from the vehicle. He was about to take off running but was stopped by the sound of Jace rolling the car windows down and turned back to look. “I hope you know what you are doing, Alec,” Jace called from the car.

 

“I hope I do too,” Alec muttered under his breath before turning to run and go find his man.

 

***

 

That distinct peculiar smell that all hospitals seem to have flooded Alec’s nose the second the automatic doors opened to let him in. He skidded to a stop to avoid running into a nurse pushing a man in a wheelchair and took a second to get his bearings. There were several hallways branching off from the main room and signs pointing in the direction of each unit, but Alec had no idea where they had taken Magnus to. The E.R.? The I.C.U?

 

Scanning around the large open area and each of the signs, Alec finally spotted a help desk over by a small cafe area that was starting to close down. Only one woman and a police officer remained seated at one of the tables. Alec made his way over to the desk as fast as he could without technically running. He sent a quick thank you up to God for someone actually being at the desk, but that seemed to be where his luck ran out. Since Alec was not family and visiting hours were over, the woman behind the desk wouldn’t tell him anything.

 

Alec grabbed his hair again and started to pace. “You don’t understand, I have to see him. I have to know if Magnus is ok.”

 

The woman sighed, clearly wanting none of this. “Look, if you want to see him you can come back tomorrow during visiting hours. If you continue to freak out like this I am going to be forced to call security and have them escort you out.”

 

Alec’s blood ran cold at the thought of having security called on him, but it instantly thawed when a warm voice behind him said, “Please let him stay. He can come back to the room with me.” Alec turned to see that the woman who had been talking to the cop at the cafe had come over to the dest too. “Please, I know this young man, and it would mean the world to my son if you let his friend come visit him,” the woman continued. It had been years since Alec had seen the woman, but he recognized Magnus’s mother now that he was seeing her up close.

 

The woman behind the desk opened her mouth to say something about, but Cahya didn’t let her speak yet. “My son Magnus has been through so much tonight. So have I. I only just finished talking to the police about it all. Please just make this whole thing a little easier on us.”

 

The woman shut her mouth, closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples. “Fine,” she relented. “My shift ends in 30 minutes. You have until then.”

 

Alec stared in disbelief with his mouth slightly agape. He could go see Magnus?

 

Cahya smiled and thanked the woman before motioning for Alec to follow her down one of the hallways. There was a nervous tension between the two of them that Alec couldn’t quite place. He followed Cahya over to the elevators and they waited for one of the lifts to come down for them. She was the first one to break the silence.

 

“It’s been years since you came over to spend time with Magnus, Mr. Lightwood,” Cahya said still looking ahead of her at the closed elevator doors.

 

“Yeah,” Alec croaked out awkwardly. Why was he so tense about this?

 

“I suppose I can’t blame you for stopping.” Cahya sighed before turning to fix Alec with an odd look. “But that doesn’t mean you and Magnus stopped seeing each other though, does it?” The question was rhetorical and the elevator arrived before Alec could do more than stare at her with his mouth open.

 

Cahya held the elevator for him and pushed the button for the third floor. “You’re the boy dating my son, aren’t you?” she asked when the doors closed. Alec looked at her with panic in his eyes, but she squeezed his shoulder to comfort him. “Don’t worry, I promise not to tell anyone. And as far as anyone is concerned, you were never here.”

 

They arrived at the floor and Alec followed Cahya out of the elevator, walking slowly to keep the same pace as her. He had the longest legs, but only one of them knew where they were going.

 

“That plan of yours was stupid,” she chastised. “It didn’t do either of you a bit of good.”

 

“I know,” Alec answered in a sad voice and held his head. He didn’t notice that Cahya had stopped walking and turned back to face her. “I am so, so sorry, Mrs. Smith.”

 

Cahya’s lips were pressed together and Alec couldn’t read the look on her face. “First,” she said, looking him straight in the eyes, “call me Cahya. If I have anything to say about it, and I do, I’m done with that last name. Secondly, as stupid as it was, I know you only wanted to protect my son. And for that, I want to thank you.”

 

Alec should have been happy. He should be overjoyed right now. But he wasn’t. Instead, he just felt guilty. “I never wanted anything like this to happen.” Alec’s gaze dropped to the floor and he felt tears stinging his eyes again.

 

“Hey, listen to me,” Cahya ordered, stepping up close to him so that he could see her even if he was looking down. “None of this is your fault. Donovan is not a good man, but he is his own person. He made his choices and now he is going to spend well over a decade in prison for what he has done here tonight and what he did once he got to wherever they took him tonight, especially since your mother’s firm will be the one prosecuting the case.”

 

Alec’s eyes went wide as he tried to comprehend what he had just heard. His first thought was whether or not his mom would be the one assigned to the case. His second was wondering how she and Magnus were going to afford it. As if reading his mind, Cahya told him that since she had used to work as a secretary at the firm and had built a good reputation there that everything would be done pro-bono for her. Alec sighed in relief knowing that Magnus’s mom wouldn’t be going bankrupt because of his.

 

Squeezing Alec’s shoulder once more, Cahya started walking again and Alec quickly caught up to her. After a few more turns they arrived at the room. Magnus and Alec make eye contact as he enters the room, and for a moment it’s just the two of them.

 

Although his face looks better than last time, Alec tries to ignore the red marks around Magnus’s throat. If Donovan wasn’t already locked up somewhere Alec would go find and kill him. But the relief of seeing Magnus alive and much better off than he had feared was indescribable. Alec ran over to Magnus and nearly tackled him. He wrapped his arms around him and started furiously laying kisses all over Magnus’s face.

 

“What are you doing here?” Magnus asked moving over in the bed to accommodate Alec so he can climb up beside him. He hadn’t asked Alec to come, but having him there instantly put him at ease.

 

“You were in trouble. How could I not come?” Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus’s temple and buried his face in his hair.

 

Because he had been so distracted by Alec’s presence Magnus hadn’t registered that his mother was there and was watching them from the doorway. “Mom!” he exclaimed, realizing that she had seen definitely seen Alec kissing him.

 

“She’s the only reason I was allowed to come and see you,” Alec informed him, turning to smile and mouth a ‘thank you’ to Cahya. She smiled and nodded before coming in and closing the door behind her.

 

“You two still need to keep it PG while I am in the room, but I figure that this would give you two some more privacy and give you some piece of mind that you’re secret is still safe.”

 

“Thank you, mom,” Magnus said with a soft smile. “I love you.”

 

“I thought that having another loved one here would help. We’ve been through hell tonight.”

 

Magnus nodded and curled up into Alec who held him protectively and ran his fingers soothingly through Magnus’s hair, dropping kisses every now and then. The weight of everything that had happened that night finally hit him and he began to cry into Alec’s shirt. Alec held him the entire time and Cahya pulled up a chair so that she could sit by the bed and rub circles into his back and hold one of Magnus’s hands.

 

Once Magnus had cried himself out and fallen asleep against Alec, Cahya sat back for a moment to observe the two boys again. Long gone were the days when they were little boys running around in the yard and the woods and sneaking cookies before dinner when they thought she wasn’t paying attention. Things were far simpler back then. Maybe a part of her had always known that the bond between the two was something stronger than a childhood friendship.

 

Cahya had watched them grow up in front of her eyes and had seen the shift that happened when they hit adolescence. That was about the time she had started to suspect that maybe her son was gay, catching glimpses of the way he looked at his playmate, but after the two stopped hanging out she didn’t see it quite as much and filed it away in the back of her mind. Nothing had come of it until today. Cahya still hadn’t had more than a few hours to process her son’s coming out, but as she had told him earlier, she loved him no matter what. And quite clearly she was not the only one.

 

Looking at her watch, Cahya noticed that the time Alec had been given to stay was almost up. Not wanting to wake Magnus up, she gestured for Alec to look at the clock. Following her directions, he caught sight of the time, sighed sadly, and began trying to escape from Magnus’s grasp without waking him up. With a little help from Cahya, he was able to slip off the bed without disturbing its other occupant.

 

Alec smiled and waved goodbye to Cahya before exiting the room, but she followed him out into the hallway. “Let me drive you home,” she insisted. She knew that Magnus would be out for a few hours at least so he wouldn’t be waking up all alone.

 

Not wanting to argue and ruin everything, Alec nodded in agreement and shot a text to Jace that he had a ride home. He followed Cahya out to her car, but she stopped to turn and face him before unlocking the doors. It took Alec a second to process what was happening when Cahya stepped forward and hugged him.

 

“Thank you for coming,” she murmured. “Thank you for caring for him.”

 

Alec’s brain faltered for a second before he let out a breath and hugged her back. “I promise to protect him however I can, Cahya. I don’t think there has ever been a time since I knew him that I didn’t love Magnus, and I’d do anything to keep him safe and make him happy.”

 

Taking a step back out of the hug, Cahya wiped a tear from her eye. “Come on, let’s get you home.

 

The ride back to Alec’s house was quiet, but it was different from the one between them before. Something had clicked between them while they were comforting Magnus. Some unspoken agreement that when it came to Magnus’s well-being they could count on one another to take care of him. It was a comforting feeling.

 

Cahya stopped down around the corner from Alec’s house to drop him off without letting his parents know. But she kept Alec from leaving one more time by reaching over the center consul to hug him. “You always have a safe place with us, Alec,” she reassured him. “You and Magnus never have to hide who you are with me. Not anymore.”

 

Tears started streaming down Alec’s cheeks before he could stop himself. The feeling of being accepted was euphoria and relief he hadn’t felt since he had come out to Magnus. “Thank you, Cahya. You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you.”

 

***

 

The next morning after his psych eval, Magnus was admitted to the hospital’s mental health unit for just over a week. While there he was placed on a medication routine for his anxiety and depression and received AA treatment for his drinking problem. Cahya was given a referral for an outpatient program so that she could receive her own treatment. She came to every single visiting hour to see Magnus and Alec made an effort to come to see him whenever he could as well, catching rides with Cahya.

 

His first day back to school after getting discharged, Magnus kicked off getting his life back together by breaking up with Camille and mending fences with his friends Catarina, Ragnor, Maia, and Raphael who she had separated him from. They gave him some shit for it and let them know that it had hurt them, but they were all able to reconcile. Their friendship only grew stronger after Magnus came out to them as bi, which made Raphael feel safe enough to come out to all of them as asexual. The group also made it a point to bring Meliorn into the fold so that he had a support network as well.

 

Unfortunately, Alec still hadn’t quite built up the courage to break up with Lydia or come out himself, but he and Magnus did get back to seeing each other as often as they could, texting each other, and talking on the phone. This alone had a positive change on Alec’s mood and behavior, and it became evident to Izzy and Jace, although they had no explanation for the sudden change.

 

By the time June came, Magnus was feeling confident enough in himself and his support network to come out fully to the world. And he did it in the most extra way possible. The first day of Pride, Magnus came to school wearing a shirt that said ‘Closets are for fabulous clothing, not fabulous people’ with a full face of makeup, rainbow streaks in his hair, and wore a pride flag for a cape.

 

Of course, some kids were assholes about it, but Magnus was able to rise above it all. The homophobia really showed when one of his teachers sent him to the principal’s office for being “too distracting,” but Principal Garroway sent him back to class immediately and called the teacher down to give him a lecture on prejudice and how Magnus had just gotten caught back up on his studies and should not have any further setbacks, especially from an educator.

 

Two days later, Magnus came to school in all of his proud bisexual glory, dressed head to toe in pink, purple, and blue hair streaks, makeup, and a shirt that said ‘Both? Both. Both. Both is good’ pink, purple, and blue letters over a pair of pride colored shorts. Cahya had even helped him to paint his fingernails.

 

That day also happened to be the final day to sign up for prom king and queen and Alec could no longer keep putting off Lydia adding their names to the list. As he begrudgingly went to write down his name, Alec spotted Magnus’s a few lines up. Looking back over his shoulder, he spotted Magnus from across the lunch room, out and proud, surrounded by all of his friends. Everyone was by his side except for Alec, and that didn’t feel right.

 

Magnus hadn’t been rejected by everyone in his life by coming out. He had faced their worst fears, but he had gotten through it, and he was still alive and finally living the life he deserved. And Alec wanted that. He wanted to be sitting there next to Magnus celebrating Pride month with him and holding his hand. He wanted to be laughing with friends who loved and supported them. But none of that was going to happen if he kept living a lie and didn’t take a terrifying leap of faith first.

 

“Hey, Lydia,” Alec said, turning to look at her, “we really need to talk.”

 

He pulled her out of the lunchroom and into an empty hallway. He knew that people could still see them through the glass window that looked out and supposed that anyone walking down one of the side halls might be able to hear them, but he didn’t care. Once again, Alec was taking a page out of Magnus’s book, and he too was going to start to get his life in order by breaking off this ridiculous arrangement.

 

“Alec, what’s up?” Lydia asked in a nervous voice. “Is it about the prom thing? Because we can go take your name off the list right now. I just thought that it would be fun, ya know?” She was babbling and it made Alec feel even worse for what he was about to do.

 

“Lydia, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep lying. It isn’t fair to you or to myself.” Lydia looked like she was about to cry and Alec prayed that she wouldn’t hate him too much. “It isn’t fair that I’ve been using you this entire time we were together. I was just scared.”

 

Lydia blinked a few times before asking, “What do you mean you were using me?”

 

Alec took a deep breath and closed his eyes, picturing he had Magnus there with him to hold his hand through this. “I’m gay, Lydia,” Alec admitted, finally opening his eyes. “And the reason I was dating you was because I was scared of people finding out.”

 

Lydia stared at him for a few moments. Alec was scared of what she was going to say. Was she going to out him to the entire school? He really hadn’t thought all of this through. But eventually, Lydia opened her mouth and said, “I wish you had just told me from the start. I could have done all of this without me kissing you then.”

 

Now it was Alec’s turn to stare at her. Lydia gave him a small smile and Alec couldn’t help but smile back. “So I guess this means we aren’t going to prom together then?” Lydia asked lightheartedly. Alec shook his head. “No, I think I’d rather go with someone else if it’s ok with you.” He couldn’t help but turn and look at Magnus again. Somehow his eyes always found him wherever he was in a room. And of course, seeing him made Alec smile.

 

Lydia followed his gaze over to Magnus, smiled, and then poked Alec in the ribs. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go ask him.”

 

Alec shook his head in disbelief at how cool Lydia was with all of this. “Thank you for this, Lydia. And again, I’m so sorry.”

 

“You deserve to be happy, Alec. I’ll be fine.”

 

Part of him didn’t really think that Lydia would take him up on the offer, but when Alec told her that since his reputation had an expiration date anyway with him bringing Magnus to prom and all, that if she wanted to slap him or something and get on the “good side” of this breakup she could, she took him up on it. She went to storm away dramatically but came right back up to Alec. “One more thing,” she whispered, “my little brother, Peter. Is he gay too? What do I do if he is?”

 

Alec chuckled slightly. “That kid? Definitely. Just...just tell him you love him no matter what. And don’t let him get into fake relationships to get people to believe he is straight.”

 

Lydia fought back laughter, choosing instead to get back to the pretend breakup of their pretend relationship. “I hope this makes you happy!” she screamed loud enough that people in the lunchroom definitely heard it and slapped him again, much lighter this time, before winking at him and walking away.

 

Alec threw back his head, laughed to himself at the ridiculousness of his life, and walked back to lunch. Walking in he was greeted by the sounds of people asking “What the fuck, Lightwood?” but he ignored them. He was headed straight for Magnus and company, and the moment their eyes met, Magnus rose to his feet with a look of concern on his face, taking a few steps towards Alec. He pointed to Alec’s red cheek and mouthed ‘Are you ok?’ but Alec waved it off and smiled at him.

 

He was about halfway over to Magnus when Jonathan, Raj, and Victor stepped between them, completely unaware of Alec. He could hear them verbally starting to harass Magnus, and that was not going to stand. The second that Jonathan punched Magnus, however, a whole new side of Alec came out.

 

As Jonathan geared up for another hit, Alec appeared right behind him, grabbed the kid’s hand, and wrenched it back until it popped and Jonathan was crying out in pain. All three boys turned to face Alec and charged him.

 

Despite the odds not nearly being fair, and taking some decent blows himself, Alec wasn’t fighting just to fight or even fighting for himself. He was fighting to keep Magnus safe. To keep Meliorn safe. To keep every closeted queer kid in the school safe from these monsters. And because of that in a matter of minutes all three of them laid at Alec’s feet groaning in pain.

 

Alec wiped away some blood he only just realized was dripping from his nose and turned around to see everyone in the lunchroom staring at him and whispering. He looked over at Magnus who was watching him with a look of reverence in his eyes and, if Alec wasn’t mistaken, a little bit of lust as well.

 

“Are you ok?” Alec asked, taking a step towards his boyfriend.

 

Magnus swallowed hard and nodded at him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ok.”

 

Alec smiled. “Good.”

 

He was about to reach out to brush a piece of cobalt blue hair that had fallen in Magnus’s face out of the way but was stopped by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching him. The world seemed to move in slow motion as Alec watched Magnus disappear behind him while he was dragged down to the principal’s office by Coach Morgenstern and one of the teachers who had been a Navy SEAL.

 

Alec knew that he was so, so screwed, but he had kept his promise to Cahya. He had kept Magnus safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly me forgot to mention in my author's notes last chapter that the name 'Cahya' means "the light" in Indonesian. I'm kicking myself for not letting you all know sooner. 
> 
> I hope you are doing well and that we can all look forward to Malec getting engaged next episode <3


	7. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a revelation  
> There's no hell in what I've found  
> And no kingdom shout  
> How the tides are changing  
> As you liberate me now  
> And the walls come down."
> 
> Alec finds peace and freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my beautiful lovelies! As you can probably tell, this chapter is long as heck; it took up 21 pages of this story's google doc. You might also be able to see that this incarnation of Malec are nearing the end of their journey here as well :'( The next update will be the last official chapter of the story, and we'll finish off our time together with an epilogue. Thank you so much for everyone who has stuck through this story with me. Your support means as much to me as Magnus and Alec mean to one another. 
> 
> Song for chapter 7: "Revelation" (I highly, highly suggest listening to this one before or as you read this chapter)
> 
> If live tweeting is your thing, let me know all of your feels using #ThereForYouFic
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: Alec goes through A LOT of anxiety this chapter and we get Robert being an asshole, but I have fluff in the middle to try to balance it out.

Alec knew that he was boned, and not in a good way. He’d be lucky if he didn’t get expelled for this stunt. But god it had felt so, so good. He watched silently as Principal Garroway and Coach Morgenstern got into a screaming match over what his punishment should be. He was kicked off of the lacrosse team for sure, and Alec couldn’t argue with that decision, but the real problem was figuring out whether to give him detention, suspend him, or expel him from school entirely. And Coach Morgenstern was gunning for the last option hard.

 

“He broke my son’s nose, Lucian!” he screamed, throwing professional courtesy out the window. “I want Lightwood expelled for the violent menace he is!”

 

“‘Violent menace,’ Valentine?” Principal Garroway asked, narrowing his eyes at the other man. “You want to talk about a violent menace, look at your son. That boy is a terror and a bully. Don’t you think for a second that I don’t know about what he did to that Edom boy’s leg. And it's ‘Luke’ to you, not Lucian.”

 

“That was a complete accident!” Valentine screamed, his face beet red in anger. Alec imagined that if he could see it, the vein in his coach’s forehead would be bulging too.

 

“Maybe,” Luke acquiesced, “but the instances of bullying that he and his friends have committed in this school are not. Although I suppose that I shouldn’t be too surprised over his actions, given who his father is.”

 

Coach Morgenstern huffed out his nose like an angry bull. “What exactly are you trying to say here?”

 

“What I am implying is that he gets his bad behavior from you, Valentine. You haven’t changed at all since we went to this high school ourselves. What I will make abundantly clear is that Jonathan, Victor, and Raj are all going to have detention for the next week. I was writing them up here before you dragged Mr. Lightwood into my office.”

 

The coach’s eyes lit up with fury, but Principal Garroway cut him off. “And before you say one more word, I want you to know that you are fired. You do not come into my office, tell me how to do my job, and speak to me with such disrespect. Now leave.” Luke stared him down until Valentine finally yielded to his authority.

 

With one more murderous look in his eye, Coach Morgenstern stormed out of the office, slamming the door so hard that items on the wall shook from the aftershock.

 

Principal Garroway turned his attention back to Alec and ran a hand through his hair, sighing tiredly. “I’m sorry about that. You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

 

Alec shrugged, not quite sure how to feel about the drama that had just unfolded in front of him. “It’s fine.”

 

The principal shook his head. “No, it isn’t. But neither is what you did either, Alec.”

 

“I know, sir,” Alec said, staring down at the floor. “I’m not going to argue with you over whether or not I deserve to be punished. I’ll accept the consequences of my actions. But please know that I didn’t just do it for no reason.” He lifted his gaze to look Luke in the eye before speaking again. “It was...I was protecting Magnus. They were harassing him and Jonathan hit him and I...I didn't think. I just…” Alec shook his head. What was the use?

 

Principal Garroway looked at him thoughtfully and sighed. “You were protecting another student?”

 

Alec nodded. “Yes, sir. Magnus Bane. He just came out and because June is Pride Month he is celebrating. And those three were throwing slurs and were about to assault him. I couldn’t just stand by and let that happen.”

 

The principal sighed. “While we preach how bystander intervention is important, this isn’t usually what we mean. You should have let a teacher break up the fight instead of throwing fists. So I do have to punish you, but only for the rest of the week. And I will have to call your parents and let them know what happened. You’re a good kid, Alec. You’ve never gotten in trouble before and your grades are well above average, so you only have all day in-school detention. Go home for the rest of the day and don’t let this happen again, ok?”

 

Alec nodded. “I understand. Thank you, sir. Is it ok if my brother brings me home? Neither of my parents can leave work during the day and he is the only one of us with a car.”

 

Luke nodded. “Ok. But don’t take too long.” He had his secretary call to get Jace out of class and Alec waited for him to come down to the office. When he arrived, Luke briefly explained the situation, and Jace looked at Alec with utter shock. Alec couldn’t look him in the eye.

 

Alec followed his brother out towards the parking lot and braced himself for what was going to happen going forward. Jace was going to want a full explanation the second they got to the car. Their parents were going to be pissed at him. Izzy was going to freak. God, this was a nightmare and not at all what Alec had thought would happen. Well, he wasn’t really thinking about consequences when he jumped into action, but fuck this. 

 

“Alec, what the hell-” Jace began, but he stopped talking when he saw someone was waiting by the door. Magnus.

 

As was seemingly becoming a habit, Alec quickly ran over to him and wrapped him in a hug, not thinking about how his brother could see them. Instead, he was thinking about how he and Magnus probably both needed this. 

 

“What happened?” Magnus asked, unwittingly melting into Alec.

 

“I’m being sent home for the day,” Alec answered, holding him a bit tighter.

 

“What the fuck?” Magnus demanded, pulling away from the hug and filling Alec with disappointment at the loss. “You were protecting me. Don’t tell me those bastards got away with this.”   
  
“No, they have detention for a week or more. I only have it for the next few days. And my coach got fired, so I guess that cancels out me getting thrown off the team.”

 

“Excuse me, WHAT?” Jace, who had been staring at them hugging in confusion, demanded.

 

“I-” Alec wasn’t even sure where to begin. Then it dawned on him that Jace had just seen him and Magnus together and he jumped back from the other boy like someone had set him on fire. Alec looked back at his boyfriend and said quickly in a low voice, “I’ll text you when I get home while I still have a phone,” and took off out the door.

 

Magnus watched him run off, holding his breath as Jace passed by, praying that he wouldn’t say anything. He got his wish and Jace only did a double take between him and Alec before giving  Magnus an odd, lost look, and ran out after his brother.

 

“Oh fuck,” Magnus whispered in horror.

 

***

 

Alec was on the verge of a full breakdown. Jace had seen him and Magnus. They hadn’t kissed, but it would have been evident enough that the hug wasn’t platonic. Nor would he have any reason to hug Magnus. They weren’t ‘friends’ after all, and that was way more than a bro hug. Alec was ready to lose it completely, and through his inner turmoil, one of the things tearing him apart was the desire to be as far away from the man he loved and hide for the next decade of his life matched by the desire to sink into his arms and have Magnus help him through his anxiety attack.

 

Things only got worse when Alec reached Jace’s car and found Izzy there waiting for her brothers. Jace must have texted her when he was headed to the office. Great. Now he was going to have both of his siblings to deal with right off the bat. He thought that he’d at least have some time before needing to face his little sister. 

 

“Alec, what the hell is going on?” Izzy asked him when he closed the distance to the car. Alec couldn’t answer her. He couldn’t speak. If he opened his mouth either nothing would come out or he’d just start speaking incoherently. So instead he walked past Izzy without acknowledging her and hopped in the back of the truck.

 

The back of the pickup truck was usually where Isabelle sat when all three of them rode together, as there was not a lot of room and Alec needed the passenger seat to stretch his long legs out fully. But right now he needed that compression. He needed to curl up into himself as much as possible to self-soothe.

 

He was rocking himself gently trying to do some breathing exercises when he looked up and saw Jace and Izzy talking through the windshield. Their voices were low so Alec couldn’t hear what they were saying (although the slight ringing in his ears didn’t help with that either) but occasionally they threw worried glances his way.

 

This shouldn’t be the way things were. Alec was the oldest.  His little brother and sister shouldn’t be worrying about him. It should be the other way around. He should be the one worrying about what was going to happen between Clary and Jace after graduation and whether or not they were going to stay together. He should be worrying about helping Izzy start looking at colleges and how their parents were going to afford a third tuition payment. But instead, here Alec was getting in fights in school, exposing his secret relationship, and losing his shit not being able to handle it all.

 

After a few more minutes of talking, Izzy and Jace got into the car. There was an uncomfortable silence between the three of them that made Alec feel like he couldn’t breathe. He hated that they were in the position where they needed to walk on eggshells around one another. Alec bounced his leg up and down anxiously and prayed that Jace would just start the damn truck and drive them all home.

 

Instead, after sharing a look with Izzy, Jace cleared his throat and spoke. “Alec, it’s time to stop. It’s time to cut the shit. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it’s freaking both of us out. You’ve been so...messed up for weeks now, and then you got better, or at least you were back to your usual gloomy self, and now all of a sudden you’re starting fights in the cafeteria. What gives? Not to mention you get all weird sometimes and ask me to do things like cover for you so you can ditch practice or beg me to drive you to the fucking hospital. But I’m not allowed to ask any questions about it. So seriously, dude, what the fuck?”

 

Alec genuinely thought he was going to hurl. He wasn’t ready to do this. He couldn’t explain all this.

 

He jumped so high he hit his head off of the ceiling when he felt Izzy place a hand on his knee to stop him from bouncing his leg. It had gotten to the point he was shaking the entire cab.

 

“Alec,” she said in a gentle voice that held so much concern in it that Alec felt tears start to sting his eyes. “Alec, please talk to us. We love you. You’re our big brother. Just tell us what’s wrong so we can fix it.”

 

And that was what finally caused the damn to break. There was no “fixing” this. There was no “fixing” him. Alec was broken in more ways than he could say and there was nothing that they could do to repair it. 

 

“I can’t-” Alec choked out before he started full on sobbing. “I can’t. I’m sorry” he said over and over again through heavy tears and gut-wrenching sobs. He hardly registered it when Izzy slid into the backseat beside him and wrapped him in a hug, or that the car started to move there soon after. 

 

Alec cried the entire way home so fiercely that he struggled to breathe. He was on the verge of hyperventilating when he heard Magnus' voice in his head. No wait, it sounded like he was in the truck with them. It was then that he realized that the voice was coming from Isabelle’s cellphone.

 

“Alec?” the voice on the phone came through clear as day. “Can you hear me?”

 

Alec nodded before he realized that Magnus couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” he answered in a breathless gasp.

 

“Good,” Magnus said, relief evident in his voice. “Alexander, I need you to calm down and breathe. Remember what we need to do? I’ll count it for you, ok?”

 

“Ok,” Alec croaked out. Even just the sound of his boyfriend’s voice had made the world start to come back into focus. He followed Magnus' count of five until head breathed in, held, and breathed out for a count of fifteen.

 

“There you go,” Magnus praised him. “You did it.” Alec took a deep breath, relishing in the fact that he no longer felt like he was going to hyperventilate.

 

“Thank you,” Alec breathed out, his voice weak from the vocal strain his sobs had put on him.

 

“Of course, Alexander. Now, I’m going to need Isabelle to help me with the next part. Is it ok if she touches you?”

 

There was another spike in Alec’s anxiety as he realized where and who he was with and that they would unquestionably know that he and Magnus had some form of close-relationship. He swallowed hard. “I-I guess.”

 

“It’s ok, Alec,” Izzy said, placing a hand on Alec’s shoulder in order to comfort him. “Magnus, tell me what I need to do.”

 

“Alright, Isabelle, I need you to follow my lead.”

 

Magnus walked Izzy through the physical component of calming one of Alec’s anxiety attacks, and while it wasn’t the same as when Magnus did it himself, it did help Alec some. “Thank you, Magnus,” Izzy said, breathing a sigh of relief when Alec slumped down into her slightly.

 

“No problem, my dear. How is he?”

 

“I’m ok,” Alec answered for himself, convincing no one.

 

“As is to be expected, I suppose.” Magnus had to be freaking out about this situation too. Or he would be later after he stopped focussing on Alec. God, they both had so much explaining to do and this was not how Alec had wanted to have to come out to his siblings.

 

“Call or meet me later?” Magnus asked, clearly having given up any pretense at this point that they could brush all of this off and ignore it.

 

“Yeah, I will.” Part of Alec wished that he had told Magnus that he loved him before the call ended, but he wasn’t ready to say that in front of his siblings. Not yet. Maybe not ever, depending on how they handled what was to come.

 

With everything that had been going on, Alec hadn’t registered that the car had been sitting parked in their driveway for some time now. They had still been driving when Izzy had called Magnus for some reason he didn’t know yet.

 

All three of them sat in silence for a long time. What could anyone say after all that? They were all standing on the egg-shell-thin edge of some life-changing moment with no way back, teetering back and forth between the decision to jump into the abyss of the unknown or wait for the ground to crumble out from beneath them.

 

Izzy decided to jump and pull Jace down along with her. “Good call saying we should call Magnus, Jace. But how did you know?”

 

Jace looked into the rearview mirror and locked eyes with Alec. “I just had a feeling.”

 

“Care to elaborate?” Izzy pressed, desperate for more information.

 

Jace broke eye contact with Alec and shook his head. “Only Alec can explain that.” Both he and Izzy turned to look at Alec, waiting to see if he’d give it to them.

 

Alone now on that metaphorical edge, Alec could feel the earth shift beneath him. He couldn’t out-run his problems any longer. His siblings’ departure had weakened whatever semblance of structure he had left, and now the ground was slipping away from him on all sides, leaving barely enough room to stand, and no possible way to sit down and wait it out. If Alec made one wrong move or waited too long, that too would be gone. The fall would be terrifying regardless of which choice he made.

 

But Alec had fallen before, hadn’t he? He hadn’t had much of a choice back then either. While people such his father would argue that it had been his fall from grace, Alec had fallen from a similar point as the one where he currently stood when he had fallen in love with Magnus. He hadn’t known what the outcome would be back then either. Back then he had waited on the edge, frozen in fear, until Magnus had made the decision for him by simply being himself. Magnus had sent him flying over the edge with the strength of a wrecking ball, as he broke down the last of the walls Alec had built around himself and his heart. Luckily, things had worked out for the best. However, Alec knew that he wouldn’t get that kind of push again.

 

Alec weighed out his options in his head with the time he had left. Jumping was both the bravest and simultaneously the most foolish choice. Only God knew what would happen when he did. Maybe he’d have a landing net. Maybe he’d fall into turbulent, alligator-infested water below. Or maybe Alec would end up broken on the ground or impaled on spikes. On the other hand, waiting for the ground to give way could prove just as dangerous. Sure, all of the options were the same, but the debris could hurt him on the way down. Worse yet, it could hit Jace and Izzy.

 

Magnus had needed to make a similar choice just a few weeks ago. He had seen his world starting to fall apart and decided to take back what control he could. He didn’t have a say over the way his mother would react when he told her, but it had worked out better than either he or Alec could have hoped for. Magnus had been brave enough to take a leap of faith, and despite others’ best efforts to drag him down, Magnus had soared.

 

Alec thought once again about the image of Magnus dressed up for Pride with makeup his loving, accepting mom had helped him put on surrounded by friends who had stayed by his side when everyone else in the school had begun to keep their distance. It was everything Alec wanted, with the addition of having Magnus and at least his two siblings by his side. Maybe he could have it too. Or parts of it. He’d have Magnus, he’d be welcomed into the group Magnus had built for himself, and Cahya had made it clear he always had a place to stay should anything happen. Even if not everything worked out, even if he got hurt, Alec would always have  _ something _ , and that was more than many in his position did.

 

So Alec decided to be brave.

 

“Magnus and I...Jace saw us hugging.” Izzy furrowed her brows in confusion and looked back and forth between her two brothers.

 

“But not like how bros hug one another,” Jace clarified. “It was...weirdly intimate, even if it was a ‘thank you’ hug.”

 

“I didn’t know you two were friends again,” Izzy ventured cautiously

 

Alec’s breath hitched and he had to fight back the anxiety that had returned with a vengeance. ‘ _ Be brave _ ,’ he reminded himself. “We aren’t. I mean, we are, he’s my best and only friend honestly, but that’s not...that isn’t all we are.”

 

Izzy and Jace had the piece of mind not to rush him or immediately start bombarding him with questions, and Alec felt that, regardless of how things went between them, he’d always be thankful for their patience with him.

 

Closing his eyes and bracing himself for impact, Alec jumped. 

 

“Magnus and I are dating. He’s bisexual and I’m...I’m gay. And we love each other.”

 

Alec felt the sensation of free-falling as the words left his lips. Everything around him was dead silent for what felt like an eternity before one of his siblings let out an “oh.” 

 

He felt his stomach twist in fear as the next thing he heard was the sound of one of a car door opening and closing, feeling the car shake from it being slammed shut. Alec didn’t want to know who had left, presumably out of anger. He didn’t want his heart broken quite yet. Every muscle in his body tensed a second later, however, when his door opened up and Alec felt a cool breeze across his skin and a pair of arms wrapped firmly around him. 

 

For a split second Alec was afraid that he was about to be dragged from the car, but when the second pair of arms snaked around him from the other side, Alec realized that he was being sandwiched in a hug between his siblings, and let out a cross between a sob and a sigh of relief. Tears flooded his eyes once more.

 

The Lightwood siblings all held on to each other for a long time, Izzy and Jace forming a protective bubble of love around their big brother. It didn’t have to be said out loud, but a shared look and a slight head nod, they both agreed that now it was their turn to take care of Alec like he had taken care of them their entire lives.

 

“We love you, Alec,” Jace murmured in a soothing voice.

 

“No matter what,” Izzy added, squeezing Alec a bit tighter.

 

***

 

Eventually, the trio made their way inside the house. Jace shuttled Alec into the living room and onto one of the couches while Izzy filled their electric kettle to make some tea. The three of them sat pressed together, with Alec in the middle and Izzy and Jace on either side of him resting their heads on his shoulders, and Alec tilted his head to rest against Izzy’s. 

 

They sat like that until the kettle went off and Izzy hopped up to get all three of them a mug. Alec held his close, the warmth and smell of the tea leaves having the desired soothing effect they hoped for. Izzy blew gently on her mug to try to cool it down, taking small, tentative sips. But both of them almost spilled the hot liquid on themselves as Jace burnt his tongue and let out a long string of profanities and practically jumped off the couch when some tea hit his leg. The look on Jace’s face when they started laughing at him sent Alec and Izzy into a fit of laughter contagious enough that Jace had to laugh too.

 

With any remaining tension eased, Alec thank his brother and sister for accepting him and for still loving him. After a few more hugs and some more crying, Alec finally opened up to them about everything: about being gay and how that affected everything in his life, about his relationship with Magnus, about his fake relationship with Lydia (that earned him getting punched in both of his shoulders and told he was an idiot, which he was), and about his struggles with his mental health and how Magnus had helped him to get some control over it.

 

It became clear that neither Jace or Izzy would be headed back to school, and truthfully Alec didn’t want them to leave either. Jace called the school to let them know while Izzy turned on Netflix to find something for all of them to watch. Alec sent a text to Magnus telling him that he was alright, that he’d come out to his siblings, and asked if he could come over after school.

 

Two hours later, while Alec, Izzy, and Jace were all lounging on top of one another watching  _ Lilo & Stitch _ , there was a knock at the door.

 

“I’ll get it!” Alec announced, popping up off the couch. Jace and Izzy stared after him and then back at one another wondering who it was.

 

Alec opened the door with a huge smile on his face and pulled Magnus inside. The second the front door shut Alec wrapped his arms around his boyfriend before cupping Magnus' face in his hands and diving in to kiss him. Magnus yelped a little in surprise, but quickly closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, his hands settling on Alec’s hips.

 

“Mmm hi,” Magnus hummed, smiling up at Alec. 

 

“Hi,” Alec answered in a breathy voice, smiling back.

 

“Hi,” said two voices in unison behind them. Magnus and Alec turned to see Jace and Izzy poking their heads out into the hall and grinning at them. Alec’s face turned bright red and melted Magnus' heart. 

“Wow, so that’s what Alec looks like when he smiles,” Jace teased. Alec rolled his eye and gave his brother a one-finger salute while Izzy tried and failed to stifle her laughter. Magnus himself couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.

 

“I hope it’s alright that I came over,” Magnus said, slipping an arm around Alec’s waist. He hoped that Izzy and Jace had missed their kiss, knowing that that was probably far more affection than Alec was comfortable showing in front of people yet. “Alec asked me to come. I’m so happy that things went well.”

 

“Oh he did, did he?” Izzy coaxed, giving her brother a sly look.

 

“Alec, dude, really?” Jace asked in mock exasperation. “If you and your boyfriend wanted to have some  _ alone time _ , maybe invite him over when you’re actually alone.”

 

Alec turned a deep scarlet at the insinuation and Izzy smacked Jace upside the head. A feeling of ‘Oh, honey’ came over Magnus at the sight of Alec’s face, and he brought a hand up to his cheek. “It’s alright, Alexander. He’s just being stupid. Besides, it’s not as if he hasn’t snuck dear Clarissa in and out of the house a hundred time.”

 

Now it was Jace’s turn to be embarrassed. “You forget who she’s friends with,” smirked Magnus.

 

Alec grinned as Magnus dragged his brother before pulling him in close again and kissing Magnus on the temple. “I love you,” he whispered in his ear so that only Magnus could hear him.

 

“So, as much fun as standing here watching you two be adorable is,” Izzy cut in, “there are only a few more hours left until our parents come home and I doubt we want to spend them standing here.”

 

Everyone nodded in agreement and headed into the living room. Jace got evicted from his spot on the couch but didn’t complain too much about it. Even he had to admit that the sight of Alec and Magnus cuddling was fucking adorable.

 

After the movie ended, Magnus convinced the Lightwoods to be a bit naughty and put on an episode of Queer Eye, a show which their parents had explicitly banned them from watching. Alec poked Magnus in the ribs and teased him about wanting to get them all in trouble.

 

“Oh you know I’ve always been a bad influence,” Magnus teased him back. “But you like me anyway.”

 

“My life would be a whole lot worse if you weren’t,” Alec breathed, running his fingers through Magnus' hair. “You, Magnus Bane, make things very complicated for me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. If complicated is the only way I get to have you in my life, I’ll choose it every time.”

 

Magnus smiled up at him with a look of pure adoration oh his face. “Alexander,” he purred. He desperately wanted to kiss Alec, but they were in the company of others.

 

“Are you two always so sappy?” Izzy cooed from the other side of the couch.

 

“I’ll have you know that your brother can say the most poetic things I have ever heard in my entire life, and I love every minute of it,” Magnus informed her. “Don’t take that away from me.”

 

“Never gonna happen,” Alec assured him, ducking down to press a kiss to his forehead.

 

All too soon, Magnus had to head home. Alec’s brother and sister stopped doing their annoying sibling routine long enough for the two lovebirds to say their goodbyes properly this time, complete with a goodbye kiss sweet enough that it made Magnus' toes curl.

 

Once Magnus had left, Alec went back into the living room to find Izzy and Jace with matching grins on their faces. “You two are so cute!” Izzy gushed.

 

Alec sat back down on the couch and shook his head. He hadn’t anticipated that his siblings would tease him about having a boyfriend, but in hindsight, he really shouldn’t have been surprised.

 

“Seriously, dude,” Jace spoke up, “you are an entirely different person when you are with him. It’s...refreshing. I’ve never seen you this happy.”

 

“Thanks,” Alec smiled. After a moment he was struck with a sudden thought. “Hey, Jace? Can you show me how you sneak Clary in and out of here without Mom and Dad finding out?”

 

***

 

That information turned out to be quite useful. Alec had no intentions of sneaking Magnus in and out of his house, that was just asking for trouble. Instead, it was him making good use of the sturdy tree next to the window in the room they used for storage.

 

As he had expected, Alec’s parent had grounded him for getting detention and fighting in school, despite the fact that he had been protecting someone from bullies. He was thankful that the principal had not told his parent too many details regarding the incident, otherwise, Alec would be grounded until graduation for sure for picking the wrong side.

 

With his parents having confiscated his phone, Alec hadn’t been able to text Magnus to ask him to meet at the treehouse. Which is how he found himself standing outside of Magnus' bedroom window, tapping on the glass. When Magnus pulled up the shade, Alec could see he had clearly been asleep from his bedhead and the smudges of eyeliner still under his eyes. However, Magnus woke right up when he saw who his nighttime visitor was.

 

“My my, Alexander,” Magnus crooned as he opened his window. “It seems that I really am a bad influence on you. Give me a hand.” 

 

As Alec helped Magnus climb out of his window, a thrill ran over him at the thought of sneaking out together. In the past, it had been because they had needed to see each other, and not just because they had wanted to. The two of them giggled as they laced their fingers together and took off running into the woods like they were little kids again.

 

When they had reached the base of the treehouse, Magnus pulled Alec down into a quick open mouth kiss. They climbed up into the structure at a furious pace, collapsing to the floor laughing when they had reached the top. They rolled around a little bit before settling down and facing one another. They hadn’t turned on the lights yet, but enough moonlight was shining through the skylight that they could make out each other’s features this close together.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Alec hummed absentmindedly, reaching out a hand to stroke Magnus' face.

 

Magnus smiled and turned his head to press a kiss against the palm of Alec’s had. “Funny, I could say the same thing about you.

 

Alec’s eyes got misty as he said, “I wouldn’t have been able to come out to them today had it not been for you. You make me brave, Magnus Bane.”

 

Magnus felt the familiar pang that only comes from loving someone so much it hurts take hold of his heart. “And you make me the happiest man alive, Alexander. I didn’t get to tell you this earlier, but I am incredibly proud of you. I’m proud of you for getting your anxiety under control even though I wasn’t there in the car in person. And I don’t even have the words to tell you how happy and proud I am of you for being able to come out to your siblings today; I know how afraid you were.”

 

Alec looked up at him through his eyelashes. “Like I said, you make me brave.” The corners of his mouth tugged up into a small smile. “Izzy’s right, we are sappy.”

 

Magnus couldn’t help but smile too. “Maybe a just a little bit,” he admitted.

 

They chuckled as Magnus rolled on top of Alec, chest to chest, their lips a hairsbreadth apart. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood, I have a question for you.”

 

“Yeah?” Alec gasped, shivering from having Magnus so close he could feel his breath on his face.

 

“Will you go to prom with me? I know it’s a lot to ask but-”

 

“Yes. A million times yes.”

 

“Really?” Magnus gleamed before leaning down to capture Alec’s lips between his own, tangling their tongues together when Alec moaned into the kiss.

 

“Yeah,” Alec panted, trying to catch his breath between kisses. “We deserve to go as much as any other couple.”

 

“My thoughts exactly,” Magnus hummed, leaning down for another kiss. “But things will be complicated. And it would mean…”

 

“Mean coming out to the school,” Alec sighed, dropping his head back onto the floor. Fuck. Things could never be easy for them, could it? Then again, hadn’t he been the one who had said he’d choose complicated if it meant having Magnus.

 

“Hey, I didn’t mean to put any kind of pressure on you like that,” Magnus apologized, rolling off of Alec. “It’s a big ask. And if we do go, we don’t have to pull out all the stops or have all of the bells and whistles. We can both go stag and hang out as friends the whole night. Afterward, we can sneak back here and have our own dance.”

 

The offer was tempting. It was a way for them to get what they wanted and still keep to their original plan. But…

 

“No,” Alec refused, shaking his head. “We should go together as dates. We should have matching tuxes and a limo and get our photos taken and dance to every terrible song the DJ plays. I think we’ve earned that, don’t you think?”

 

The tears forming in Magnus' eye glistened in the moonlight. “Do you really mean that?”

 

Alec pushed himself up on his elbows. “Nothing would make me happier.”

 

Magnus wiped away a tear. “What about your parents?”

 

Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I would need to come out to them before I asked. Do you...could you help me with that? Be there when I tell them?”

 

“Absolutely, Alexander,” Magnus assured him. “Whatever you need me to do.”

 

“Thank you, Magnus,” Alec said, sitting up fully to face Magnus. “I love you so, so much. I’d do anything for you, and knowing that you’d do the same for me...you are the most incredible person in the world, and I am so lucky to be able to call you mine.”

 

Magnus couldn’t think of the right words to say to answer him. At least not in English. Instead, one of the few phrases he knew in Indonesian—one that his mother had murmured to him as a little boy when she tucked him into bed—slipped out “Aku cinta kamu, Alexander.” He leaned forward and kissed Alec’s swollen lips once more. “I love you.”

 

Alec and Magnus traded long slow kisses after that, letting their hands explore each other’s bodies, slipping up under the hems of shirts, and tangling their legs together. “You know,” Magnus moaned into Alec’s open mouth, “I should really thank you for defending my honor today properly.”

 

“Hmm, what did you have in mind?” Alec asked in a husky voice, his brain already a little foggy.

 

“Oh I can think of one way,” Magnus whispered seductively, rolling Alec onto his back and sliding down between his legs with a grin.

 

***

 

Alec was very lucky that he and Magnus had not had a repeat of that fateful morning two months ago where they had both been late getting home. They had cut it close, however, despite having woken up before the alarm. They spent the time until it went off and a bit thereafter holding one another, exchanging kisses, and tracing patterns over each other’s skin. And dealing with some other biological issues teenage boys tend to get. Waking up with Magnus was quickly becoming one of Alec’s favorite things in the world, and he could not wait until he got the luxury of being able to do it every single morning.

 

Maryse and Robert Lightwood were none the wiser about Alec’s late-night escapade, but Jace and Izzy would undoubtedly tease him for it for the rest of his life. It was a small price to pay for getting to spend the night playing little spoon to Magnus and experience his morning bedhead. However, Alec was just thankful that the few hickeys Magnus had left behind were easily hidden under his clothes. He’d never hear the end of it if he had needed to go to Izzy for a cover-up.

 

Over the next few days, Alec, Magnus, Jace, and Izzy worked together to formulate a plan for Alec coming out to his parents. Originally, it had just been Alec and Magnus, but in an effort to start being more open with his siblings Alec had let them know his intentions and they had insisted on being included to show their support. Between the four of them, they decided that sooner would be better than later, especially if the boys wanted to go to prom together and to do it somewhere meaningful.

 

That’s how Magnus ended up back at church Sunday morning for the first time in years. Having been filled in by the boys at that point as well and knowing that Magnus would need support as well, Cahya had come with him. Alec sat between Magnus and Izzy while Jace had positioned himself between Izzy and their mother. This way Alec was protected on both sides and his mother would have to go through both of his siblings if she wanted to say anything to Alec and through all three of her children if she wanted to make a snarky comment to Magnus. Cahya sat in the pew behind them, directly behind Magnus and Alec, blocking any wandering eyes from seeing any interaction between them that might give them away.

 

Neither Lightwood parent had been thrilled to see Magnus that day, suspicious of his sudden reappearance in their congregation and because they blamed him for their son’s trouble in school. But with his mother there and their kids acting as human shields, the most they could do was give him looks that were a mixture of disapproval, slight contempt, and disgust. Magnus began to suspect that word of his sexuality had spread beyond the walls of the school, reached the ears of parents, and begun to make its rounds in the church. Seeing his obvious discomfort, Alec threw caution to the wind, took Magnus' hand in his own, and squeezed it reassuringly. Magnus gave him a quick smile and squeezed back as a sign of thanks.

 

They quickly let go as the service began and everyone was required to stand, but every sitting moment they got, Magnus and Alec allowed their knees and pinkies to touch, just like if they were in Chemistry class. This proved to be much-needed comfort as Robert Lightwood deviated from his planned sermon and began preaching passionately on the horrors and abomination of homosexuality and any other form of sexual deviance and confirmed Magnus' earlier suspicions. Cahya rubbed circles into Magnus' back, having come to the same conclusion, and was whispering to him in Indonesian. Despite not being able to speak much of the language, Magnus could still understand what she was saying:  _ Do not listen to him. You are beautiful and perfect, my son. _

 

Cahya also squeezed Alec’s shoulder gently to remind him that she was here for him as well. Izzy showed her support by reaching over and taking his hand and not letting go. Jace held on to her other hand and every so often would look over subtly to check on how Alec and Magnus were doing. During the worst of it, when Robert went into explicit detail what happened to “sodomites” in hell, Magnus and Alec linked their pinkies together like they were making a promise to one another and held on tight. 

 

In a way, they were making a silent promise or at least a reaffirmation of one. No matter what happened or what was thrown at them, they would be there for each other through it all, even under the threat of eternal damnation.

 

Church services had always seemed to go on forever to Magnus, and that Sunday’s was no different. Given that it was aimed directly towards him, it seemed especially long. Alec was just as anxious for it to be over if his bouncing leg was any indication. Magnus could see his resolve starting to crack, and he prayed that it would all be over soon so that Alec could finally find peace. Looking over at Izzy and Jace, he wasn’t the only one.

 

Once the service was finally over and people began filing out the front doors, Alec remained seated in the pew. His parents had gone to stand by the doors to shake everyone’s hands as they left, allowing Magnus to slip an arm around his shoulders. Alec thanked him before closing his eyes to pray one last time.

 

_ Dear God, despite what my father says to the contrary, I’m pretty sure that you don’t hate me for being gay. Unfortunately, my parents just might. Please give me the strength I need to come out to them today. I have Magnus and his mom and my siblings on my side, and that is more than I had ever thought I would have, but I need you too. I need you to lend me your light and your strength and your courage to do this. And maybe it is asking too much of you for my parents to accept me, but at the very least, please don’t let them hate me forever. Even if they hate me now, please let them come around someday, even if it’s only one of them. Just something. I want them to be at our wedding when Magnus and I get married one day. I want them to know their grandchildren. I want them to be able to see that what I am and what I feel for Magnus isn’t vile at all. He makes me happy. Being out and able to show everyone how much he means to me will make me happier than I’ve been almost my entire life. I have to believe that all of those years of me begging you to make me straight going ignored have led to this moment. So please, please help me. Amen. _

 

Alec hadn’t noticed that he was crying until he felt the all-too-familiar pad of Magnus' thumb wipe away tears on the half of his face he could reach. Blinking and rubbing the rest of the tears away, he turned to face Magnus. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Magnus whispered to him, smiling gently. “Alexander, just remember that no matter what they say or do, I’ll be right here. You aren’t alone.” Alec squeezed his hand and smiled at him, nodding. “Good,” Magnus said, smiling back.

 

The moment was cut short by the sound of the front doors closing followed by the muffled footsteps of his parents re-entering the room. It was show time.

 

“Oh, you’re still here,” Robert said in terse voice upon noticing that his children were not the only ones still occupying the pews. “Can I help you or your son with something, Mrs. Smith?”

 

Cahya shook her head. “No. I’m simply here for moral support.”

 

“Moral support?” Maryse asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. “What do you mean ‘moral support’?” 

 

Taking one last deep breath, Alec rose to his feet. “Mom, dad. I...we need to talk. I have something to tell you.”

 

“Must this be done in front of an audience?” Maryse asked, eyes shifting between Magnus and Cahya, taking in their odd seating arrangement she had only given a passing thought to earlier. “Do those two have to be here?”

 

Swallowing hard, Alec dangled his hand down next to Magnus, reaching out for his hand. Magnus took hold of it with a squeeze, trying to share some of his strength with his boyfriend. “Yeah, they do,” Alec responded, watching his parent’s eyes take in the sight of his and Magnus' intertwined finger. It was only because his parents were already stunned into silence that Alec was able to speak the words he so desperately needed to say. “Mom, dad, I’m gay.” 

 

The revelation seemed to have sucked the air out of the room. Everyone stood or sat in silence as the weight of Alec’s statement began to settle. Robert got ready to say something, but was cut off by Izzy glaring at him and Jace hissing, “Let him speak!”

 

Alec licked his lips as his eyes darted between his parent’s ghost-white faces. He was lightheaded and felt as though he might float up into the rafters had Magnus not been anchoring him down. Clearing his throat, Alec continued to speak, to try to reason with them, get them to see things from his perspective. 

 

“All my life you’ve told me how being gay was wrong and a sin and how God would never love anyone who was. And until very recently, I believed you. I knew that I was gay, and I still believed you. Which means that until recently, I have hated myself. Hated myself to the point where sometimes I prayed to God to either make me straight or just kill me already because I bottled everything up inside of me until it started to fester and kill me slowly from the inside out. I didn’t know what happiness felt like until Magnus and I found our way back to one another. And he has been so incredibly patient with me when the hate and guilt inside of me bubbled up and screamed at me that what we were doing was wrong. Magnus has helped put me back together over and over again when I’ve broken down under the fear and anxiety of you or anyone else finding out about me. But he is also the reason I’m able to stand here in front of you today and be honest, truly honest with you, for the first time in my life.”

 

Once more, Robert began to speak, only getting out, “No son of mine-” before he was cut off again, this time by his wife. “Robert!” she hissed, taking her eyes off their eldest to give him a pointed look. Robert looked back and forth between Maryse, Alec, and his other two children with what could be described as betrayal in his eyes. His gaze slid over to Magnus and he looked at the boy through narrowed, judgemental eyes. “This is your fault,” he snarled before turning on his heal and marching into his office. The door slammed so hard it sounded like it was going to break.

 

With Robert gone, all eyes were on Maryse. Alec could tell that she wasn’t taking the news well, but she had stood up to his father for him, so that had to count for something, right? “Please, mom,” he begged and felt tears start to dot the corners of his eyes. He kept looking at his mom with wide, pleading eyes as Magnus stood up beside him, their fingers still interlocked. “Please, mom,” he said again. “I’m the same person I’ve always been. Now everything’s all out in the open.”

 

None of the Lightwood siblings had ever seen their mother in a state like this. They were all too familiar with her special brand of silent judgment, yes, but they’d never seen her stricken speechless before. It was unsettling and put everyone on edge.

 

Eventually, Maryse took a deep breath to compose herself and opened her mouth to finally speak. When she did, it was in her lawyer voice. “I need to go talk to your father about this. We’ll continue this discussion tonight.” She looked over to where Cahya was still sitting. “Can you please take them home? I anticipate this is going to be a while.”

 

Cahya nodded in agreement and Maryse walked off into her husband’s office without saying so much as a ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye.’ 

 

***

 

Alec felt dazed as Magnus and his siblings guided him out to Cahya’s car. Even though his long legs earned him the front passenger seat, he was squished into the middle seat in the back so that he could be sandwiched in between Magnus and Jace. On the way home, Magnus held his hand while Jace rubbed circles on his back.

 

When they arrived back at the Lightwood family homestead, everyone, including Cahya, slowly got out of the car. Convening around the front of the car they all agreed that Magnus should stay there for the time being. Before she left, Cahya hugged and kissed her son and told him to be safe and to stay in touch then went over to Alec. She wrapped him in a hug as well and left a motherly kiss on his forehead. “Remember what I said, no matter what happens with your parents you will always have a place with me and Magnus. If you need anything, anything at all, you just let me know.” She wiped away tears from Alec’s eyes and he pulled her in for one last hug.

 

The next few hours passed by slowly. If a casual observer had been looking in the Lightwood Family’s living room window, it would appear as though the four teenagers were just lounging around on the sofas watching TV, staring at their phones, and snacking on junk food. Completely normal Sunday afternoon teenage behavior. But they would be unable to see the anxious air that hung over them, or that no one was really watching the  _ Supernatural _ reruns, or that every time they checked their phones it was to see if any of them had missed a call or a text or some sign of life from their parents.

 

Alec laid curled up on the couch with his head in Magnus’ lap. Magnus brushed his fingers through his hair idly, wishing that they were having this casual closeness under better circumstances. Alec had stopped crying a long time ago now, and instead, a heaviness had settled in his heart and his gut felt like it had been hollowed out. He had mentally prepared himself for his parents to scream and curse him out, or for them to start praying for God’s mercy. He’d even dared himself to dream of the possibility of their acceptance. But the thought had never entered his mind that he’d be met with nothing. How was he supposed to handle that?

 

It was late in the afternoon when Robert and Maryse finally arrived back home. As soon as they came in, Jace and Izzy were on their feet, ready to tear into their parents for their shitty behavior. Maryse was able to render them speechless, however, with a single look. Her gaze shifted from them down to where Alec was still laying on the couch using Magnus as a pillow and their eyes met. Alec wasn’t sure what he was reading within them, but it wasn’t hatred, which was a relief. 

 

Robert, on the other hand, was staring at them in bewilderment. His mouth gaped open and shut, and between this and his eyes wide bug eyes, he reminded Magnus a lot of a fish. The thought took away some of the intimidation he felt towards the man.

 

Eventually, Robert gave up, shook his head, and walked upstairs. Maryse closed her eyes in a wince as he walked away, and her children could tell she was fighting hard to keep her composure. Taking a deep breath in and out, she turned to face her still-standing children. “I need to talk to your brother alone. Please go upstairs to your rooms.”

 

Izzy looked at her mother incredulously. “You can’t be serious.”

 

“We aren’t leaving him alone with you,” Jace protested, balling his hands into fists.

 

“Jace, Izzy, it’s ok,” Alec said, speaking for the first time in hours. He sat upright and looked at his mother directly in the eye. “They’ll go, but Magnus stays.”

 

Maryse’s face twisted up into a pinch expression, relaxed, and she nodded in agreement. Izzy gave Alec a tight hug and Jace squeezed his arm reassuringly. Both of them looked back over their shoulders as they slowly made their way up the stairs. Only after the sound of their bedroom doors opening and closing did Maryse let out an exhausted sigh and take a seat next to Alec on the couch. 

 

Alec reached over for Magnus’ hand and found it waiting for him. Nervous energy sat between all of them, and Alec could feel his anxiety starting to surge. The second his leg started to bounce, however, Magnus squeezed his hand and said, “Breathe, Alexander. Center yourself.” Alec nodded and took calming breaths, thankful that his mother had agreed to let Magnus stay. He didn’t know if he’d be able to keep his anxiety in check otherwise.

 

“Better?” Magnus asked, already noticing Alec’s anxiety ebbing away.

 

“Yeah,” Alec answered with just the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thank you.”

 

Maryse watched the exchange in silence with what almost looked like surprise. But she waited until they had finished before speaking, and both of them were thankful for the lack of interruption. With an air of trepidation, Maryse looked back and forth between her son and Magnus, cleared her throat, and spoke. “I had hoped that your father would be joining us for this conversation, but I guess that isn’t the case.” She watched Alec hang his head and shake it back and forth gently while Magnus rubbed his back. Knots started to form in Maryse’s stomach. “He...he just needs time, Alec,” she said, trying to give her son some kind of reassurance as well. “This is a lot for him. You know how he is. His own son being gay...it’s sent him into a crisis of faith.”

 

“How do you think I felt?” Alec asked, trying to sound bitter but mostly just sounding hurt. He sat up to look his mom dead in the eyes, determined to let her know just how hurt he’d been. “How do you think I felt all of these years hearing him preach over and over and over again that I’m this...this monster? That I’m going to burn in Hell and suffer for all of eternity just because I like guys? How do you think that made me feel? How do you think I felt when I realized that I was in love with my best friend? How do you think I felt when I found out that he was capable of liking me back? How do you think I felt every time he wanted to hug and kiss him and all I could hear in the back of my head was dad’s voice telling me how wrong it was?” 

 

By now a steady stream of tears was flowing down Alec’s face, but he still had so much more left to say. “How do you think it made Magnus feel that the guy he was in love with didn’t want him to touch him? How do you think I felt every single day at school listening to people spout the same rhetoric dad does and prayed that none of them would ever find out about me? How do you think Magnus and I felt seeing couples out in the halls holding hands and kissing knowing that we could never do that? How do you think we felt when we believed that it was better to pretend to date other people than risk people finding out about us?”

 

When he finished, Alec’s voice had crescendoed loud enough that is rang off the walls. But the next time he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “How do you think I felt seeing my boyfriend bloody and bruised in a hospital bed because his stepdad who has the same hatred in his heart as my dad attacked him because of it? Or how I felt seeing how, despite all of that, he became so much happier once he came out, and maybe, just maybe, I just wanted that for myself?”

 

Alec felt Magnus snake an arm around his waist and pull him close, but he never broke eye contact with his mom. Even through his tears, he could see the look of remorse that had come over her. Nonetheless, he became weary as Maryse began inching closer to him and went rigid, trying to anticipate her next move.

 

Relief flooded through Alec’s body as Maryse pulled him into a hug and began to stroke his hair. His catharsis had opened up a floodgate and he couldn’t seem to stop crying. He sobbed into his mother’s shoulder as she held him. Rocking slightly back and forth, Maryse hushed him and murmured, “My baby boy, it’s all going to be ok now. Mama’s here,” over and over again.

 

Maryse didn’t come off as the maternal type. She was highly critical and to her showing that she cared for her children was best done through pushing them to be the best that they could be. She hadn’t held Alec like this since he was a toddler. But as Maryse sat there trying to ease his pain, she knew that she’d failed him as his mother. She wasn’t sure which was more heartbreaking, the realization or her son’s anguish. 

 

Chancing a look over at the boy Alec had feelings for, she knew that she and Magnus shared a source of suffering. He looked absolutely devastated by Alec’s breakdown, and that told Maryse volumes about the nature of their relationship. It wasn’t some silly high school relationship that would be over the moment they graduated. This was the relationship that clients came into her firm because they no longer had it with their spouses. It was a love quite possibly more intense than her and her own husband had.

 

“I’m so, so sorry,” Maryse apologized, addressing Magnus as much as Alec. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. I’m sorry for all of the hurt I’ve caused you. I’ll be better. I promise.”

 

With a sniffle, Alec released his hold on his mom and sat back to look at her. “Do you mean that?” he asked in a broken voice that made Magnus reach out to comfort him. Alec didn’t even stop to think before setting his on top of the one Magnus had placed on his knee and lacing their fingers together.

 

With a sad smile, Maryse nodded her head ‘yes.’ “You haven’t been happy for a long time Alec. All of us could tell we just...didn’t know how to help you. I thought at first that it was part of raising a teenager but…” she trailed off. “There’s this look in your eyes that I’ve never seen from your brother or sister. At first, it wasn’t there all the time and I would just catch glimpses of it out of the corner of my eye. But over time the look stayed longer and longer until it was there permanently and if felt like it started to sink into your bones. I watched as my beautiful boy became this haunted, silent stranger to me.”

 

A tear started to slip down Maryse’s cheek and she wiped it away quickly. But not quickly enough that Alec hadn’t seen it. He inched his free hand over to her, and she accepted it gratefully. It didn’t escape her that despite all he’d gone through and how much he was hurting, that Alec was still offering HER, someone who had contributed to his pain, comfort.

 

Maryse squeezed Alec’s hand started to speak again. “I know that I’m hard on all of you. I thought that maybe all of this,” she gestured to nothing and everything in particular, “was just that you were feeling guilty for acting out or being rebellious. But your grades were still above average and you weren’t coming home reeking of alcohol or raiding the medicine cabinets or stealing money, so I didn’t want to pry.” She shook her head at herself. “I didn’t know what it could be, and I just got so frustrated, but instead of talking to you like a good mother, I pushed you even harder. I thought if maybe you immerse yourself in the things you used to enjoy, and if I prayed hard enough, my son would come back to me.”

 

Letting go of Alec’s hand, Maryse reached up to cup his face. “My son who used to tell me everything, every little detail of what he’d done that day because he thought it was important for me to know. My son who used to help me cook dinner and insisted on getting Jace and Izzy ready for bed when I’d come home from a long day at work.” She caressed his cheek gently, wiping away a stray tear. “When you came out to us earlier today, you said ‘I’m the same person I’ve always been. Now everything is just out in the open.’ And right there, right there was the son I’d been praying so hard would come back to me.”

 

The smile that had crept to Maryse’s face faltered and her hand dropped from Alec’s cheek. She hung her head in shame. “I should have handled that better. Maybe I didn’t say anything out loud, but I was letting my prejudices get the better of me. In doing so I let them get in the way of God’s gift. I’m sorry about that. And I’m sorry that I know I still have those prejudices inside of me.” Maryse looked back up at her son with pleading eyes. “Please be patient with me and give me time. I will do and be better. I swear to you and to God that I will.”

 

Alec let her finish before leaning forward to hug her again. “I believe you, mom. I believe you.” And he did.

 

When they pulled apart, Maryse smiled and let out a sigh that turned into a chuckle as she wiped the last of her tears from her eyes. Alec smiled back. A huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders as years and years of emotional baggage fell off of him. He felt like he no longer needed to hold his breath around his family and could finally, finally exhale. 

 

It was only after the clock on the wall in the dining room struck six o'clock that they realized how late it had gotten. Not wanting to overstay his welcome, Magnus was about to announce that he should probably call his mom to come to pick him up when Maryse turned to address him. “Magnus, would you like to stay and have dinner with us?”

 

It was a simple question, but Magnus and Alec both recognized it for what it really was: an olive branch. Magnus looked at Alec and squeezed his hand as a smile crept to his face. Still smiling, he looked over to Maryse to give her an answer. “Thank you, Mrs. Lightwood. I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3x20 SPOILER ALERT:
> 
> I'd like to take a moment to freak tf out over last night's episode. We got Heline. We got Mama Lightwood being Malec shippers' savior. WE FINALLY GOT A MALEC ENGAGEMENT!!!!!!
> 
> ALSO, after next week, I'm choosing to believe that the show will just be on an extended hiatus for an unknown period of time. Kind of like what happened with Twenty One Pilots, only we won't have complete and total radio silence from our cast. Well, maybe from Matt, but we all know to expect that from him at this point XD


	8. Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "'Cause there's still too long to the weekend  
> Too long till I drown in your hands  
> Too long since I've been a fool  
> -  
> Leave this blue neighbourhood  
> Never knew loving could hurt this good, oh  
> And it drives me wild  
> 'Cause when you look like that  
> I've never ever wanted to be so bad, oh  
> It drives me wild  
> You're driving me wild, wild, wild  
> You're driving me wild, wild, wild  
> You're driving me wild"
> 
> Our boys finally get the happy ending that they deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, lovelies. The last chapter of "There For You." I have such mixed emotions about this story coming to an end. It holds such a special place in my heart and I can't thank you all enough for taking the time to read it. Thank you to Nannette who beta read this super fast despite being in the throes of college finals. You are an actual goddess. And thank you once more for giving this story a chance, sticking with it, leaving comments and kudos, etc. Thank you so much <3
> 
> Live Tweet using #ThereForYouFic if that kind of thing butters your biscuit (butters your Clary?). 
> 
> Song for chapter 8: "WILD"

Despite the fact that Magnus had already asked Alec to prom and both boys had talked things over with their mothers already (Maryse hadn’t been super enthusiastic at first but was sticking to her commitment of self-improvement) and things were getting set in motion, they both decided to give each other a proper promposal. Magnus asked Alec to prom for the second time by showing up to the Lightwood household with two boxes of pizza in tow. Inside the large box, Magnus had written, “I know this is cheesy, but…?” on the lid and spelled out the word “prom” in pepperoni on the pizza. If that weren’t enough, in the smaller, second box was a heart-shaped pizza, with “You’ve got a pizza my heart” on the lid. Needless to say, Alec’s answer was a resounding “yes,” and the rest of the Lightwoods, save for Robert, greatly enjoyed the promposal as well.

 

Then it was Alec’s turn. He had never been one to draw unnecessary attention to himself, but he was going to make an exception for this. He knew that what he was planning was going to out him to the school, but at least this way it was happening on his terms and for the best reason he could think of. Originally, he and Magnus were just going to show up and let people make their own conclusions. But what could Alec say, Magnus was rubbing off on him and it made him want to be a bit extra.

 

Alec had gotten permission from their chemistry teacher the day before, leaving out the fact that he would be asking another male student to the prom. Using Magnus’ habit of running late to his advantage, Alec had the whole thing set up by the time his boyfriend arrived. He was thankful to have Izzy in the class with him; she helped to calm his nerves significantly. Not only was Alec’s little sister there for moral support, but she had sworn with her hand on the bible to personally drop anybody who dared to try or say anything. And Isabelle Lightwood was fully capable of doing just that. She wasn’t vice-president of the Idris kickboxing club for nothing.

 

So when Magnus finally arrived in the chemistry classroom, slightly out of breath from running in at the last second, he was greeted by the sound of tittering whispers from his classmates who seemed far too excited and full of energy that early in the morning. A couple of them kept pointing up to the board at the front of the room and Magnus turned to see what all the fuss was about. Did someone draw another large, anatomically correct penis on the board again?

 

Instead of some detailed dong drawing, Magnus found that a message had been written on the chalkboard. “Are you made of Copper & Tellurium? Because you’re” followed by the elemental symbols “Cu” and “Te.” The message ended with “Be my date to” and the word “prom” spelled out with the symbols for  Praseodymium, Oxygen, and Manganese (the N on the last symbol was drawn so tiny you could barely see it). All of the period symbols contained their corresponding numbers and elemental information.

 

Magnus only managed to ponder who the recipient of such a last-minute, corny, yet scientifically accurate promposal was before his  boyfriend emerged from his hiding place in the storage closet holding a small bouquet of red roses. He smiled as he and Magnus locked eyes.

 

“Magnus Bane,” Alec spoke in a steady, sure voice (he had practiced for hours), “will you be my date to the prom?”

 

A few people gasped in shock before a hush fell over the room. Only the Lightwoods had expected to bear witness to a same-sex promposal that day. Magnus himself was stunned into silence at what Alec had just done. He had to have known that by lunchtime the entire school would know the news of what he’d done. Yet Alec had done it anyway. So unlike those staring at he and Alec with looks of horror or shock, Magnus stared at his boyfriend in awe, the feeling of pride swelling up inside of him.

 

Quickly, Magnus set down his things and made his way to the front of the room where Alec stood waiting. He could see Alec’s resolve starting to crack and the panic starting to set in, and that simply would not do. Taking another step closer to Alec, Magnus took the bouquet of roses from his outstretched hand. He closed his eyes as he took a deep whiff of the delicate flowers’ scent, and when Magnus opened them again he looked into those beautiful hazel eyes he loved so much with a look of pure adoration and love and he smiled. “Nothing would make me happier, Alexander,” he replied.

 

A grin stretched over Alec’s face, and as he leaned down to capture Magnus’ lips in a chaste, yet tender kiss, it was as if the spell that had befallen the rest of the class was broken. The first to make a sound was Isabelle, who let out an “aww,” followed by Lydia Branwell jumping to her feet applauding and grinning wildly. “I knew you had it in you!” she gushed in between squeals of delight. 

 

The following sounds of the entire class talking to each other at once all blurred together into one loud droll, but Magnus and Alec were unaffected, staying in the little bubble that formed around them when they were looking into each other’s eyes like this. Holding Alec by the waist, Magnus tilted his head back slightly to see his face and smiled at his boyfriend. “I’m so proud of you, Alec.”

 

“I told you,” Alec said smiling back. “You make me brave.”

 

The moment was cut short by their teacher coughing to break them up and trying to get the rest of the class to settle down. As they took their seats, the teacher shot Alec an angry look that was less “you are disgusting and going to hell” and more “thanks for making my job even harder now, asshole.” Magnus and Alec looked at each other and fought back a fit of laughter. 

 

That day, for the first time ever, Magnus and Alec held hands (not just pinky fingers) and held them up out on the lab table in full view of everyone.

 

***

 

Magnus and Alec had thought that they’d been prepared to face life in the aftermath of Alec’s promposal, but that was until they were hit with some unexpected consequences. As is the culture of a small school where everyone knows everyone’s business, news of Alec’s sexuality and his asking Magnus to prom spread like wildfire. Eventually, the shockwave became enough of a distraction that the boys were called down to the office and asked about it and if they were pulling something. 

 

Upon learning that not only was this promposal legitimate but that Magnus and Alec were in fact in a relationship, Principal Garroway let out a heavy sigh, looked up at the sky muttering “You’re testing me, Big Guy,” and rubbed his temples. Then he buzzed his secretary in, told her to schedule a faculty meeting ASAP, and to make sure the boys had prom tickets and for their names to be announced together just like every other couple going to the dance.

 

Everything seemed to be settled until Superintendent Malachi Dieudonné informed the Bane and Lightwood families that no, their sons could not go to prom together, citing “concerns on the behalf of other parents,” “potential for violence,” and “amoral behavior.” 

 

Things seemed doomed until Maryse Lightwood stepped up to the challenge and went to bat for the first time in her son’s favor. Being that she was a lawyer, it didn’t take the Lightwood matriarch too long to find legal cases involving students in similar situations with their schools. That’s how Magnus, Alec, and Cahya came to sit in the superintendent’s office with looks of satisfaction on their face as Mama Lightwood, in both full lawyer and full mom mode explained to the man that yes, their sons would be going to prom together.

 

“It’s very simple, Mr. Dieudonné,” Maryse said as she slapped a stack of papers onto the man’s desk, smiling at him like a shark. “According to the Supreme Court of the United States, as well as federal court cases, policies or actions that block same-sex couples such as our sons from proms and dances, as well as policies that make this sort of discrimination possible, violates their First Amendment rights to free expression and association. And you are obligated to keep our boys safe from any perceived threats of violence or harassment under The Right To Equal Protection as well as Title IX, which states that you cannot ignore harassment based on gender stereotyping.” 

 

Maryse took a second to let the man process all of the legal firepowers she had used against him, grinning as the blood drained from his face and he shrunk back into his seat. “So in case you didn’t understand all of that, you preventing my son from going to prom with his boyfriend makes this school a legal liability. And don’t you think for one second that I won’t bring this to court. But not only do I expect you to let the boys go as a couple, I expect you to protect them in school as well, however short a span that may be. And it doesn’t end there. You are going to provide those same protections to every other student here who’s gay, bisexual, etc. Do I make myself clear?” 

 

The superintendent could only nod in agreement as he stared at the fierce woman with wide, fearful eyes and his mouth hanging open. “Good,” Maryse declared, standing up straight and fixing him with a sickly sweet smile. “Thank you for your time.”

 

Magnus turned to look at Alec with a look of “did that just happen?” on his face. Alec smiled at him in amusement and nodded. “You should have seen her trying to get Jace to eat his brussels sprouts.”

 

***

 

In the blink of an eye, prom night had finally arrived. Jace, Clary, Alec, Magnus, Catarina, Ragnor, Raphael, Maia, and Lydia and her date, John Monteverde all rode to the school together in a limousine, but only after all of their parents took a million and one photos of them. Jace wore a black tuxedo with a vest and boutonniere the same color purple as Clary’s halter-style dress. The shade made her already fiery red-orange hair stand out even more. 

 

Then there was Magnus and Alec. Cahya and Maryse had really worked their magic in getting them matching tuxes. Magnus’ was a standard white dress shirt and black pants, but wore a cobalt-blue jacket with a black floral print and a bowtie on top of it. Alec wore nearly the same thing, just much more laid back and refined without the added pattern on the jacket and he wore a full-length tie instead. 

 

Arriving at the school after going out to dinner with everyone’s families still in-tow, the teenagers were eager to have the night (mostly) to themselves. Principal Garroway read off the names of couples as they entered in order. Because they had gotten signed up so late, Magnus and Alec were the last in line.

 

“You ready to do this?” Magnus asked when it was nearly their turn.

 

Alec smiled down at him. “As long as I have you by my side I can do anything.”

 

Magnus went in to kiss him because no words could convey quite how hearing that made him feel, but one of the teachers chaperoning the dance who was in charge of keeping the line moving interrupted them by clearing their throat. Alec blushed and looked at the ground bashfully while Magnus could only laugh. 

 

When at last they stepped through the gymnasium doors as Principal Garroway said their names, Magnus and Alec were met with loud cheers and clapping from their friends and family, and surprisingly even from other members of their student body. It didn’t matter that the entire gym hadn’t applauded their appearance—neither boy had expected them too—but those who supported them made enough noise for the entire senior class. It was more than enough.

 

One huge difference between Alec and Magnus was their dancing abilities. Every move Magnus made was fluid and hypnotic, so it came as no surprise that he was a fantastic dancer. Alec, on the other hand, was not. As coordinated and graceful as he was out on the lacrosse field when it came to dancing he had two left feet.

 

Regardless of this, Alec spent every moment out on the dance floor Magnus did. Surprisingly, their prom’s DJ wasn’t awful and played a variety of music. He even swapped out the traditional Whitney Houston “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” with the Fall Out Boy cover. That one had been fun to dance with Magnus to. But then there were certain songs like Liam Payne’s “Strip That Down” that had Magnus dancing very close to Alec in a way that made Alec very happy for the lack of lighting in the gym and that no chaperones were close enough to see them.

 

Magnus and Alec were still looking at each other with hungry eyes at the end of the song when the announcement was made that it was time to declare the prom king and queen. The two had a silent conversation while the principal had the candidates all come to stand by the stage. It ended with them smiling and nodding in agreement, and a moment later Jace was crowned the prom king and Clary the prom queen. 

 

The commencement of the ceremony kicked off the start of the slow-dance songs. Following Jace and Clary’s lead, couples started filing out onto the dancefloor to the Kina Grannis cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

 

“May I have this dance?” Alec asked, extending his hand out to Magnus.

 

Magnus smiled at him as if Alec hung the stars in the sky. “I thought you would never ask.”

 

So maybe Alec wasn’t the best dancer, but he wasn’t entirely hopeless. Afraid of stepping on Magnus’ toes, he had gotten some help from his mother and Izzy, both of whom took teaching him to dance very seriously. The ladies had even pulled Jace into the mix so Alec could a) get used to dancing with another guy, and b) so Jace would also be able to dance without crushing Clary’s digits.

 

The melody enveloped the boys as they moved in perfect synchronization. At one point in the song where there is a momentary beat of silence, Magnus twirled back into Alec’s chest and they paused to look each other in the eyes. As the words began to again and the rest of the song played out, they stared at one another and let the lyrics and their meaning hang between them. Tears began to form in both of their eyes as a type of love they could both feel down to the last molecule of their beings enveloped them and they closed the last bit of space between them.

 

***

 

A few more slow dances played after that before the DJ began playing more upbeat music again. The entire time Magnus and Alec had just held each other close, swaying and exchanging languid, loving kisses that the chaperones couldn’t say anything about when they were too busy dealing with couples making out so ferociously they resembled two grizzly bears fighting over a salmon. 

 

Unbeknownst to the two of them, Jace had intercepted somebody who had been vocally bashing the couple all night behind their backs now actually attempting to make his way up to Magnus and Alec, twisted the kid’s arm behind his back when he took a swing at him, and marched the little homophobe right over to Principal Garroway. Needless to say, the prom king’s act sent the message that no one was to mess with them. And even Clary, joined by Maia and Caterina, verbally tore Camille and her clique to shreds for comments they were making in the ladies room.

 

But when "First Day of My Life" came to an end signaling the last of the slow dance songs, Magnus and Alec no longer had the desire to stick around; their hearts called them elsewhere.

 

Alec walked over to hug Jace and tell him that they were headed out. In the days leading up to the dance, they had come up with a cover plan just case the need arose. Jace sent his brother off with a smirk and a “Have fun you two.”

 

Making a break for it, Alec and Magnus snuck out the doors and into the parking lot to Magnus’ crappy clunker of a car. Their parents brought both his and Jace’s cars and parked them there so that the kids could get to their friend’s house after the dance. As far as they knew, their children would be spending the night with Andrew Underhill, a clean-cut kid from their lacrosse team whose parents would be home. Jace would just tell Mr. and Mrs. Underhill that Magnus and Alec had changed their mind and gone to Ragnor’s (another notoriously clean-cut kid with parents in town) house. 

 

They took turns changing out of their tuxes in the back seat, which was funny, considering what Magnus and Alec were headed off to do, but that was neither here nor there. Holding hands across the center console, they exchanged small smiles back and forth. There was no need to make conversation or to fill the space, so they sat in comfortable silence instead.

 

After plans for prom had finally seriously started to get underway was when Magnus and Alec had broached the topic for how they wanted the night to go. And as cliche as having sex on prom night may be, the two wanted the full prom night experience, cliches and all. 

 

Embarrassing as it was, being that it was both of their first times, it was important that they talk over the intricacies of what they were about to do together, and to make sure they both really wanted this to happen. They way they danced on each other reaffirmed that Magnus and Alec had these desires for each other, while the way they slow danced reminded them of how much they loved each other and how good they were together.

 

Eventually, Magnus reached the abandoned house that once belonged to his neighbors and parked his car behind it so that it wouldn’t be visible from the road. Hand-in-hand, he and Alec made their way through the forest, stopping every now and then to watch fireflies or kiss one another up against a tree. When they finally reached the treehouse they made their way up the ladder unhurriedly, knowing that they still had hours left to themselves.

 

Alec went over to a cooler in one of the corners they usually used to hide alcohol in and pulled out a bottle of wine that the two of them had been attempting to keep cold. He also pulled out the two wine glasses they had hid with it. Popping the cork, Alec poured out a glass for each of them and handed the second one to Magnus.

 

“To us,” Magnus toasted with a smile.

 

“To us,” Alec toasted back, clinking their glasses together.

 

They chatted idly about the prom as they drank, talking about the dresses, the music, the decor. It felt a bit like they were stalling, but neither Alec nor Magnus wanted to pressure the other into anything and didn’t know what to say. Eventually, the small talk died out and they were sitting in silence.

 

Swirling the remnants of his wine in his glass, Alec was the first of them to speak. “I uh, I don’t really know what I’m doing,” he admitted, cheeks flushed from the wine and embarrassment. “When you slept with Dot did you just go for it, or how...how did you, ya know…?”

 

Now Magnus was turning a little red. “Um, well, it wasn’t really something we talked about beforehand like we have. We were in her bed doing math, started kissing, and one thing led to another.”

 

“Oh,” Alec said in a quiet voice. Were things only awkward because it was him? Was he the reason things were going nowhere?

 

“Hey,” Magnus said, getting his attention. He tilted Alec’s head up so they could look each other in the eye. “You’re different, Alexander. I thought that I was in love with Dot when that happened, but I know with every fiber of my being that I am in love with you. So things are going to be different. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, do you?” 

 

Alec shook his head ‘no’ in response. “I love you too, Magnus. That’s why...that’s why I want this to be good. For both of us.”

 

Magnus leaned forward to press a kiss to Alec’s lips. Both of theirs were swollen already, but Magnus would do nothing but kiss Alexander for the rest of eternity if he could. When they pulled apart he brushed Alec’s cheek. “It’s going to be amazing for me, darling, simply because I’m doing it with you. Now, what is it you’d like to do? We can kiss, do what we’ve been doing, do nothing, whatever. It’s up to you.”

 

After a moment of a million thoughts swarming through his head, Alec finally came up with a coherent answer. “I want to see you,” he admitted. “All of you. I want...I want to know your body.”

 

Briefly, Magnus wondered how many times and in how many different ways he could fall in love with Alec, but he decided he didn’t want to know the answer. He hoped that he never stopped falling. He hoped that around every single corner he found something new to love about the boy he’d known most of his life.

 

“I can do that,” Magnus answered, rising to his feet slowly. The last thing he needed was a headrush throwing him off-balance. He felt Alec’s eyes on him as he took off his shirt and unbuttoned his shorts. He made eye contact with his boyfriend as his boxer briefs joined the last of his clothes.

 

Alec took in the sight of Magnus and for a moment, he thought that he might start to cry. He had never thought that he would get to experience this. Once upon a time, he couldn’t even kiss his boyfriend. But they had come so far and so much had changed. So much about himself had changed. 

 

Slowly, Alec reached out a hand and ran it over Magnus’ outer thigh and up his side leaving goosebumps in his wake. Magnus shivered under his touch. “You’re beautiful,” Alec breathed. Propping himself onto his knees, he pressed a line of kisses along Magnus’ Adonis Belt and up around his navel.  _ Wow, he was actually doing this. _

 

Still kissing along Magnus’  _ very impressive and attractive  _ abs, Alec felt two hands tilt his head back and looked up to see Magnus smiling down at him. “Hi,” Magnus said with a smile.

 

“Hi.” Alec’s voice was still breathy, but honestly, how was he supposed to breath when he had an actual God naked in front of him.

 

Magnus’ smile widened. “I’d kind of like to see you too,” he teased lightheartedly, running his thumb along Alec's cheekbone.

 

With Magnus's help, Alec got undressed as well. They took in each other's bare forms for a few moments before venturing to touch each other. Slowly their curious fingers took in the expanse of exposed skin on each other's bodies, no barriers between them or their beating hearts. 

 

When their lips met yet again there was a new level of intimacy to the kiss; it was heated, but not frantic. And in the end, stumbling and giggling in between those passionate kisses, somehow, they ended up on their trusty air mattress with the bag from the pharmacy ripped open beside them.

 

Their first time together was not some mind-blowing, perfect time Hollywood leads you to believe. It was clumsy and awkward and a lot of figuring it out as they went. But it was beautiful and heartfelt and they laughed at their own incompetence. They definitely would need to work on that more. 

 

In the morning, when the rays of sun coming in left the treehouse awash in golden light, Magnus and Alec basked in the glow that outlined one another’s skin. It was the most beautiful thing that either one of them had ever seen. Interlacing their fingers, they laid there basking in the warmth of the sun, of each other, and of the love between them. If either of them was asked about what had transpired between them that night out in the treehouse in the woods, Magnus and Alec wouldn’t say that they had sex for the first time; they’d say it was the first time they made love.

 

***

 

Of course in the days following Alec’s romantic prom night rendezvous, when their parents weren’t around, his siblings teasingly gave him an earful, but in their hearts, Jace and Izzy were happy for Alec. 

 

But then, next thing they knew, what little remained of the school year was over before anyone knew what hit them. Finals and state testing were complete and everyone got good marks. And all too soon, Alec, Magnus, and Jace were donning their caps and gowns, ready to receive their high school diplomas. 

 

It came as a surprise to no one that Lydia Branwell was their class’ valedictorian. Had Magnus not had his slip-up with the alcohol or two separate hospital stays, he likely would have beaten Alec out for salutatorian. Even still, Alec only beat him and Catarina out by a narrow margin.

 

Being that Alec held such position, he would be giving a speech in front of not only his senior class but all of the residents of Idris who had come out to support them as well. As someone who didn’t like the limelight, this made the task incredibly daunting for Alec. But unlike before when it was just he and Magnus, his support system had grown to include the majority of his family, and everyone lent a hand. Countless torn-up drafts and hours spent doing breathing exercises and practicing his speech, Alec was as ready as he would ever be.

 

As Alec took his place behind the podium, he surveyed the crowd of students, families, and the rest of their community. Just about everyone had their eyes on him, even if they were shifting uncomfortably at his presence or whispering any of a number of things to their neighbors. Alec took a second to find Magnus’ face to help center himself and smiled as he found his boyfriend absolutely beaming back at him. He gave Alec a thumbs up and with that Alec closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and addressed his audience.

 

“Hello and welcome to the Idris High School’s 2019 graduation ceremony. It’s an honor and a privilege to stand before all of you today as salutatorian. Right now, my classmates and I stand on the cusp of an entirely new way of life. Today marks our transition from high school seniors to high school graduates, changing our identities as we know them. But what exactly does this mean? When you come from a small town like Idris, you almost have this identity forced upon you. People see us as some middle to lower class country bumpkins, for lack of a better phrase. Or at least, that’s one perception of all of us. The thing is, in life, there is the person you are perceived to be versus the person who you actually are. I think that high school acts as the perfect microcosm for observing this. If you are a popular athlete, you are viewed one way. If you’re an outcast it’s because you are perceived in another light. And these kinds of things can cause you to doubt yourself.”

 

It was encouraging for Alec to see that everybody seemed to actually be listening to what he had to say. The speech he had prepared was deeply personal, and only Magnus had heard it in its entirety up until now. Feeling his confidence levels rise, Alec continued to speak.

 

“Idris is a town where everyone knows everyone and their lives and business. But what if you don’t even know yourself? And what if you do, deep down, but you don’t want anyone to know about it? These are questions that I’ve had to ponder myself for some time now.  I have found that when it comes to identity, it’s crucial that you be authentic and truthful to yourself. And one of the most important parts of achieving this is self-reflection. The question of “am I doing what is ultimately best for me?” 

 

Here was where Alec needed the collective strength of God and his loved ones the most. This was where he’d be bearing his soul to almost the entirety of Idris. But they were words that he wanted and needed to say, and he knew that no one would be allowed to hurt them because of it. To ensure Alec’s safety should the need arise, Principal Graymark had arranged for a few of his former friends on the police force to act as security for the event. Having read over Alec’s speech ahead of time to review its contents, Luke knew just how important this was for the boy and how powerful the message in his speech really was. They were the type of words that the man wished that he’d been able to hear as a teenager, especially when he began to question his own sexuality and feeling towards his male and female friends in high school.

 

“As most, if not all of you, know by now,” Alec began, reminding himself to breathe, “very recently my boyfriend and I decided to come out publicly. We once thought that what was best for us was to repress our sexualities and to keep our relationship a secret from the outside world. In reality, this was the worst thing we could have done and created more problems than it solved. It’s taken me years to accept myself as I am, but I am proud to be me: a gay, Christian man deeply in love with my bisexual childhood best friend.”

 

His audience had mixed reactions in response. For most of Alec’s class and their parents, this was old news. But for many of the Idris residents, hearing such a statement made so publically was not only shocking but made them visibly uncomfortable as well. Alec heard Jace wolf-whistle while Magnus and his friends applauded, but his focus was drawn to his father, Robert, who had gotten up and was pushing his wife and daughter out of the row they were seated in. As he left, he kept his head down and shielded his face with his hand as he made his way off of the football field the graduation ceremony was being held on.

 

Whatever hope Alec had left for his father coming around one day died in that instant and something inside of him felt hollow. But instead of letting this get to him and drag Alec down a spiraling hell of turmoil, it did the opposite, spurring him on to finish what he had come to say.

 

“Because of this, I can finally say that I am really, truly happy. I know that there will be others who don’t and won’t accept me for who I am or for the relationship that I have with my partner, and that’s okay. You see, when we have our best interests in mind and are confident in ourselves, those who see us the for who we truly are will find us. And sometimes those people are already there with you and they’ve seen the real you waiting to be set free even before we have. Those who help us find and come to love ourselves are heroes who come in all shapes and sizes from all walks of life. God blessed me to have found such a person here in Idris.” 

 

Alec looked over at Magnus once more and smiled at him in adoration, watching as Magnus wiped away tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes, smudging his eyeliner. Lydia quickly passed him a tissue from her stash before using one to wipe her own eyes. 

 

With a smile still on his face, Alec addressed his audience one last time. “I hope that as you all go forward in life that you too come to find and love yourselves, and that you surround yourselves with people who love you and help you to grow. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to speak today, and congratulations Idris High class of 2019.”

 

The speech garnered more applause than Alec had expected, and people patted him on the back as he made his way back to his seat. Once there, Jace pulled his brother into a giant hug. “I’m so proud of you, Alec,” he said into his ear.

 

The rest of the ceremony passed by fairly quickly, Lydia joking about how she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to follow Alec when it came time to give her speech, and all too soon everyone was making their way across the stage for Principal Garroway to hand them their diplomas.

 

As the student body finally moved their tassels from right to left and threw their caps into the air in celebration, Alec was hit with the full force of Magnus running up and jumping into his arms. Jace helped to steady his brother as Magnus wrapped himself around Alec by his neck and waist and kissed his boyfriend breathless. As Alec set him back down onto the ground, he and Magnus grinned at one another with their foreheads still pressed together. They had made it.

 

***

 

That summer was the best Magnus and Alec had since they were children. Yes, Alec’s father was spending less and less time at home and a rift was growing even wider between his parents, but overall things were much better between the family members and Alec wasn’t home all that often to be affected by the growing tension. In addition to starting therapy, he had gotten a summer job alongside Magnus at their local ice cream shop and just started spending more time out with his boyfriend and their circle of friends. Their mothers were a bit concerned about how much time they were spending together and about them living together in the fall, but as the two families spent more time together and everyone got closer, any lingering fears that what lay between them was just some high school fling were squashed out. After watching Alec help Magnus with the dishes one night after he had come over for dinner, Cahya saw in them a kind of domesticity usually reserved for married couples twice their age. Even Maryse came to joke that they were like an old married couple who already knew what the other needed without having to say a word.

 

But that was only one facet of their relationship. While yes, the romance between Magnus and Alec was mature for their age, that didn’t necessarily mean that they were. The two went a little wild that summer, high on the feeling of finally being free. They kissed whenever they could, pressing each other up against the walls of the ice cream shop in between customers, when their families were out in the other room together, and even when they were out on walks when they felt safe enough to get away with it.

 

There was also quite a lot of sneaking out of the house with them. Sometimes Magnus snuck into Alec’s house, sometimes Alec snuck through Magnus’ bedroom window, and sometimes they both snuck out to their treehouse. And unsurprisingly, they did get a lot more practice with the whole sex thing.

 

It was during one of these nights out together, each other’s body heat the only warmth they needed through the summer nights, that Magnus and Alec’s pillow-talk turned into a discussion of what would happen to the treehouse after they went away to school.

 

Several weeks later, they stood on the forest floor looking up at the fruits of their labor. Each outside wall of the treehouse had been painted in colors that corresponded with different pride flags. Principal Garroway, who had a secret passion for woodwork and a not-so-secret admiration for the two boys, had made a carved out a special sign for the treehouse. Carefully and stylistically burnt into the sign was the word  _ Sanctuary _ . The inside had been converted into an even cozier retreat and shelves containing pamphlets of information and guides and books with LGBTQ+ representation had been put up. Luke had made a second sign that hung on one of the inside walls that read “You are not alone.”

 

After much discussion, during and after that particular session of pillow-talk, Magnus and Alec had decided to share their safe place with the other LGBTQ youth of Idris so that they always had a safe place to go. It would act as the headquarters for the teens until Idris High’s new GSA was formally established in the fall. Posted signs had been put up all around the area to let people know that they were on private property and so that Cahya could help to keep them safe, and keys to get into the structure were only given out to those who had taken up leadership positions for the club, Aline Penhallow, Helen Blackthorn, and Raphael Santiago, and to those truly desperate for a place to go. Andrew Underhill, who had felt so empowered by Alec’s graduation speech that he was finally able to come out himself, would also be helping out with the club and assisting Cahya in checking on the structure—and whoever might be staying there—regularly.

 

Now, having climbed into the treehouse for the last time before they left for New York, Magnus and Alec closed their eyes and remembered all of the memories that they had tied to this place—both the good and the bad. So much of their lives had revolved around this building. This was the place where they had grown up and grown into the people who they were today. But now, it was time to move on.

 

Without saying a word, Magnus reached down and clasped Alec’s hand in his own, turning slightly to face him and fix his boyfriend with a smile. Alec returned it with a smile of his own and squeezed Magnus’ hand gently. They needed to be getting back now. Robert already left with the moving truck a few hours before, but their moms would be getting antsy to get on the road to follow him. But it had been just as important for the boys to say their goodbyes to the treehouse as it was to say goodbye to their friends. To Alec, leaving without seeing the building one last time would be like leaving without saying goodbye to Jace or Izzy.

 

In a way, leaving the treehouse behind was Magnus giving up the last real connection he had to his father. No longer would he be able to run here and escape his troubles any time he needed to. And that was okay. Once upon a time, Magnus had felt more at home here than he did in his actual house. But since Donovan was no longer in the picture and his relationship with his mother was better than ever, that wasn’t the case anymore. What’s more, Magnus had found that same sense of home in Alec that Alec found in him. 

 

Wherever he went, even thousands of miles away from Idris, as long they were together both Magnus and Alec would have a place that they felt safe and loved and warm.

 

“Goodbye, old friend,” Magnus whispered just loud enough for Alec to hear. “Thank you for everything.” 

 

“Yeah,” Alec added, “Thank you for always being here. Thank you for taking care of us.”

 

As if the treehouse was responding to them, the leaves in the surrounding trees began to rustle in the wind, and the rays of sunlight Magnus and Alec had come to adore fought their way through the clouds in the sky and thick collection of leaves to light up the room one last time.

 

Walking hand-in-hand, neither Magnus nor Alec felt the need to look back. They’d always carry a piece of their sanctuary with them in their hearts. But now it was time for them to move forward and leave Idris behind.  

 

Their “someday” had arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 9 of this story will be an epilogue. So while this is technically the end, I still have one more update planned for all of you. I am also thinking of sharing the playlist I made for this story on Twitter alongside the next update. Let me know if that's something you would be interested in :)
> 
> Also, all of the information that Maryse used to allow Malec to go to prom together is 100% real. Here are two sources of information on the matter below. If you are a queer teenager in the U.S. you have so many more rights than you might be aware of. I hope that these can help you or your friends and family should the need arise.
> 
> https://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-rights/article/youth-dances  
> https://www.acludc.org/en/know-your-rights/know-your-rights-lgbt-students-what-do-if-you-face-harassment-school


	9. Epilogue: Suburbia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yeah, there's so much history in these streets  
> And mama’s good eats  
> Oh Wonder on repeat  
> There's soo much history in my head  
> The people I've left  
> The ones that I've kept  
> -  
> Have you heard me on the radio, did you turn it up?  
> On your blown-out stereo in suburbia?  
> Could be playing hide and seek from home  
> Can't replace my blood  
> Yeah, it seems I'm never letting go  
> Of suburbia"
> 
> Malec's "someday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! Hope all of you lovelies are doing well. Here we are, officially at the end of our journey together. Thank you all so very much for taking a chance on this story. I said in an A/N way at the beginning that I didn't know if I would ever be able to thank my beta properly for all that she does for me. Well, I hope that I finally found a way. She's been an integral part of bringing you all this story, so it only felt right to include her in the way I did here. I hope everyone enjoys this conclusion. If any of you are interested, I will leave a link below to my Spotify playlist for this story, "What A Heavenly Way To Die"
> 
> Come be emotional over this story being over with me on Twitter using #ThereForYouFic
> 
> Song for the epilogue: "SUBURBIA"

“Are you sure we have everything packed?” Alec asked as he played the world’s second most tedious game of Tetris (the first being attempting to fit Thanksgiving leftovers in the refrigerator) with their suitcases and numerous Christmas presents for their friends and family. “I really don’t want to have to Jenga your suitcase out of here if I can help it.” He sighed heavily and groan in frustration as one of the gift boxes slid out of position and fell back out towards him. Fine. As long as the door could still close it could stay. He was tired of fighting it. Despite wanting nothing more than to slam the door shut, Alec pressed the button that closed it automatically, stepped back, and hung his head in resignation.

 

Chuckling at Alec’s misfortune, Magnus walked over and pressed a kiss to his flustered husband’s cheek. “I double checked everything last night, Alexander,” he reassured him. “And because I know how you get, I checked again this morning. Just breath, darling. Everything will be alright.” Magnus gave Alec’s shoulders a gentle massage as he spoke. They were going to be on the road for a long time and he wanted his husband to be as relaxed as possible. “You worry too much, love.”

 

Alec let out an amused huff of air and relaxed into his husband’s touch. All these years later and Magnus was still the best grounding force he had ever known. “I know. This year is just different is all and I’m nervous about making the trek down to Idris now that, you know…” he trailed of.

 

Giving Alec’s shoulders one last gentle squeezed, Magnus came around to face him and place his hands on Alec’s arms. “That’s why we are getting an early start. And we will take all of the breaks that we need and still make it in plenty of time.”

 

Indeed, they were getting a very early start. The sky was still dark and dawn wouldn’t be approaching for at least another hour. There were several reasons as to why Magnus and Alec were awake at such an ungodly hour. The first was that they were hoping the New York City traffic would be more manageable. Because it was the holiday season, New York had turned into a madhouse of travelers and Christmas shoppers. That led to their second reason for their early departure; they hadn’t intended on driving down ON Christmas Eve, but a recent series of events had thrown their plans almost completely off. Another reason was that they were hoping to avoid any paparazzi hoping to snag a photo of them. Those vultures never seemed to take a holiday off.  And lastly, both Magnus and Alec knew that this car ride down to Idris was going to be an especially long one.

 

Once both men had gotten situated in the car and Magnus double checked the backseat, they were off. When he could spare it, Alec held his husband’s hand as their arms rested on the center console. While stuck in traffic or waiting at a red light, he’d absentmindedly rub his thumb over Magnus’ wedding band.

 

It had been a couple of years now since their last visit to Idris. Their third year of college Magnus and Alec had moved into an off-campus apartment together and lived in the city ever since. Then, after graduation, things with the band had started to take off and life had been hectic and busy in the best way possible.

 

During college, Alec had gotten himself enrolled in a music therapy program in order to help work through all of the emotional baggage he carried with him to school. Magnus joined something similar, doing art therapy instead. One day, while channeling anxiety he had over wanting to switch his major from pre-law to creative writing through one of the pianos in the music building, Alec met Simon Lewis.

 

Simon was a music major minoring in accounting to please his mother and an aspiring musician. Alec and Magnus had listened to him perform at some of the school’s coffee shops, but they had never spoken until that moment. Somehow, the talkative, nerdy guy and Alec became best friends, which enabled Simon to talk Alec into doing something crazy: forming a band. Since Alec was still getting the hang of piano, he started off with helping Simon compose songs until he felt more confident performing.

 

Soon after the two started performing together and recordings of them began to gain traction on social media, Magnus volunteered to put his (future) business degree to good use and became the band’s manager. Now here they were: Rock Solid Panda had a record deal, two albums, and one world tour under their belt with another kicking off in the fall.

 

The night their first album, _Sanctuary_ , was released, Magnus and the record company had organized a release party to celebrate. Simon and Alec performed a few songs for a small, select live audience and the countless number of people watching via live-stream. As Alec introduced their next song, one he had written for Magnus titled “Dreaming of Someday”, he told everyone watching a little bit about the song. After they were all sufficiently emotional, Alec finished off by saying, “Because this is already such a special night, there’s something that I’ve wanted to do since I was seventeen years old, and now is the perfect opportunity to do it,” before reaching into his pocket, turning to where Magnus was just off-stage, and dropping to one knee. “Magnus Bane, will you marry me?”

 

The crowd (and Simon, especially) had a collective breakdown as Magnus ran out and enthusiastically accepted the proposal. Recordings of the moment went viral all over social media and photos (particularly one the two of them kissing) were plastered all over magazines and news sites. As a result, Rock Solid Panda gained millions of followers and albums sales far exceeded early predictions.

 

That was also the night that Simon had finally mustered up enough courage to ask Alec’s sister out on a date. The two had been together ever since.

 

Only a few months later Magnus and Alec became Mr. and Mr. Lightwood-Bane. Their wedding was a private ceremony among their friends and family, and both could say that it was the fairytale wedding of their dreams. The day had also served as a big step towards Alec reconciling his relationship with his father.

 

Robert rejecting Alec for being gay had put the two at odds from the get-go and severely strained his relationship with his wife as well. When it was revealed that he had been cheating on Maryse, enough was enough and the two of them divorced. After that, Alec no longer wanted to have anything to do with his father.

 

But prior to the wedding, Robert had reached out to Alec seeking to make amends and salvage whatever relationship with his son that he could. Through prayer, listening to his son’s music, and the grace, reasoning, and encouragement of his second wife, Annamarie Highsmith, Robert finally came around to realizing the error of his ways. Because of this, he wanted to be there to celebrate Alec and Magnus’ marriage and show his support. And while both Maryse and Cahya were the ones to walk their sons down the aisle, having Robert there applauding for the grooms alongside everyone else was a miracle no one had expected.

 

Rock Solid Panda’s world tour kicked off after Magnus and Alec got back from their honeymoon and things had been busy, busy, busy ever since. Somewhere in all of the craziness, Alec had started working on a novel and Magnus was juggling volunteering and getting an additional degree in social work where and when he could.

 

Big things had also been afoot for their mothers. After her divorce, Maryse had begun to take an interest in politics and Cahya had stepped up to be her friend’s campaign advisor. Because Maryse’s policies were such a good blend of conservative and liberal ideologies, she had supporters from both parties and her career took off in a similar manner as her son’s band had. In fact, Maryse had just been elected as a state senator that November.

 

Life had kept Magnus and Alec from making it home for the holidays the past couple of years, but with this Christmas being as important as it was, they knew that they had to make the effort. This year they all had a lot to celebrate. There was Maryse’s victory, Simon and Izzy’s engagement, Jace and Clary’s fast-approaching wedding that January, promotions, achievements, and every other big thing that had befallen their friends and family that year. To top it all off, Magnus and Alec had a surprise for everyone.

 

Around 2:00 in the afternoon, Magnus and Alec finally reached Idris after 10 long hours of travel. As they had anticipated, the trip took much longer than usual and they had made many pit-stops along the way. While Alec had been a freak about having everything together and getting on the road, Magnus had been a fretful mess almost the entire drive. He only really settled down when he had nodded off to sleep for a few hours and when he had taken over driving for a while so Alec could get some rest. More than once Alec had to remind himself that he loved Magnus and killing his husband would ruin everybody’s Christmas.

 

But as their car made its way further into the heart of Idris, Magnus and Alec were filled with nostalgia and decided that they could afford to make a detour to drive around town a bit. They passed by the ice cream shop that they both worked at the summer before college, small-town landmarks, local places they used to hang out as teenagers and the high school. “Everything still looks the same,” Magnus remarked a bit wistfully. “But nothing ever really changes around here anyway.”

 

As he said it, both of them knew that Magnus’ statement wasn’t entirely true. Change was happening in Idris. Idris High School had cracked down hard on bullying and intolerance and the GSA there always had active members. After their graduating from college, Helen and Aline had gone on to found the _Tree-Tops Youth Shelter_  for LGBTQ+ teens and adolescents in need in the nearby city of Alicante with a branch back home in Idris as well. While the two wives ran the shelter in the city, Andrew Underhill and his boyfriend, Lorenzo, were in charge of the one in town. Both Maryse and Rock Solid Panda made regular contributions to fund these shelters. Cahya held a place of honor there for all of her volunteer work and assistance she provided the girls in getting everything established.

 

Realizing just how late in the day it actually way, Alec and Magnus had to swallow their nostalgia and get back to reality. As they approached Alec’s childhood home they saw multiple cars parked along the street and in the driveway. They were officially the last to arrive.

 

Parking behind the light blue Volkswagen Beetle that belonged to their friend Catarina, Alec and Magnus got out and stretched their legs for a few moments before they started unloading the car. Alec pulled their two suitcases out of the back and set them on the ground. “We’ll have to make a few trips,” he announced. “You need any help there?” Alec asked watching his husband struggle in the backseat.

 

“Could you please?” Magnus asked in an exasperated voice. “This infernal contraption doesn’t want to come off.”

 

“That’s kind of the point, babe,” Alec said, opening the door on the opposite side of the car as his husband. In between them sat the car seat containing their sleeping newborn baby daughter. “I think she did pretty well for such a long trip,” he remarked, helping Magnus get the seat detached from its base.

 

Magnus ran a hand through his disheveled hair and pouted. “Yeah, when she wasn’t screaming her poor little lungs out.”

 

“That’s on you,” Alec said, straightening back up as Magnus pulled their little girl out of the car. “She probably sensed how anxious you were and it stressed her out.”

 

“I can’t help it,” Magnus replied, adjusting the strap on the diaper bag with his free hand. “I just to make sure she’s okay at all times. God, I hope I don’t mess up our child.”

 

Alec quickly walked over and pressed a kiss to his husband’s lips and forehead. “You’re going to be an amazing father,” he reassured Magnus. “Besides, you’re not alone. We’ll both be nutjobs over whether or not we’re doing this whole parenting thing right together.”

 

Magnus smiled up at Alec with a look of pure bliss on his face. “I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side.”

 

Giving Magnus another quick kiss, Alec stepped back and angled to grab the suitcases again. “C’mon, we should be getting inside. Let’s hope my mother doesn’t kill us for being late when she sees we brought her a grandchild for Christmas.

 

Laughing heartily, Magnus followed Alec up onto the porch. Even though this was still technically his home, Alec opted to knock on the door instead of just barging in. Two seconds later, the front door was thrown open and Isabelle Lightwood stood grinning with excitement in its place. “Well it’s about time you two showed up,” she exclaimed and almost tackled Alec to the ground as she hugged him. Magnus took a quick step back moved their secret Lightwood-Bane daughter out of the way of potential harm. Izzy only had the chance to smile in his direction before Jace’s voice rang out through the open door. “Is that them?” he shouted.

 

“Yeah!” Izzy called back over her shoulder.

 

“Good,” Jace proclaimed. “Tell them to get in here before mom beats the shit out of them for being so late.”

 

Magnus and Alec chanced a glance at one another, subconsciously agreeing that Uncle Jace would need to watch his language in the near future. Maneuvering the suitcases awkwardly through the door while still trying to hold it open for Magnus, Alec was met with a blast of the smell and feel of the home the moment he crossed the threshold. This too hadn't changed. Just as the door closed behind Magnus, the two of them were swarmed by the numerous friends and family who had gathered at the house to spend Christmas together.

 

Nobody even noticed that Magnus was holding a baby carrier until the occupant’s shrill cry cut through the cacophony of people talking and laughing. Then everything was deadly silent except for the infant’s cries and the faint sound of Christmas music floating in from the living room speakers.

 

“Is that a baby?” Maia asked with wide eyes.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Alec responded as he knelt down to soothe the crying baby. The loud noise everyone was making must have woken her up. Magnus set the carrier on the ground so Alec could get their daughter out. “Hey, princess,” Alec cooed as he unbuckled her. “It’s ok, baby girl, Daddy’s got you. Did all the noise and new people scare you?” he asked as he lifted her up carefully and held her to his chest. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Alec said, rocking back and forth slightly. He turned to look at Magnus. “Babe, can you please get me her pacifier? It should be in her car seat.”

 

Magnus nodded and retrieved the small piece of rubber. “Here you go, honey,” he said as he brought the pacifier to the baby’s mouth. “Papa got you your pacie, now everything’s allll better.”

 

Indeed, their little girl settled down right away as soon as she started sucking on her pacifier. The new dads smiled at one another before remembering that they had an audience. “Surprise!” Magnus exclaimed.

 

Before anyone could do more than smile at them, Maryse emerged from the kitchen out into the hallway. “What on earth is going on out here? I could have sworn I heard—” She cut herself off when she saw the tiny bundle in her son’s arms.

 

“Surprise, mom,” Alec said with a grin. “Merry Christmas.”

The biggest smile Alec had ever seen came across his mother’s face and the crowd parted for her like the Red Sea as she flew over to him. Her gaze slid wildly between the baby and Alec and Magnus. “Wha- When? How? I mean, I know you two were looking to adopt but…” Maryse could barely speak she was so excited and smiling so much.  “Oh Alec, Magnus, she’s perfect.” Smiling again, Maryse turned back towards the kitchen. “Cahya!” she shouted. “Come here! We’re grandmas now!”

 

“Maryse Garroway, are you calling me old?” Cahya playfully scolded her dear friend and in-law.

 

“You don’t look a day over thirty,” Maryse called back laughing. “But I mean it, you need to get out here!”

 

“Twenty-eight!” Cahya shot back. A few dishes in the kitchen clinked together before she padded her way over to poke her head through the doorway. “Why is everyone standing in the doorway?”

 

“Hi, mama,” Magnus said, smiling instantly at her presence. “We have someone we want you all to meet.”

 

Wiping her hands on her apron, Cahya joined the outrageous cluster of people and froze just like Maryse had when she noticed what Alec had in his arms. She gasped in shock, bringing her hands to her mouth.

 

“Mom, Maryse, everyone,” Magnus said, addressing the home’s occupants, “this is our daughter, Nannette Adelaide Lightwood-Bane.”

 

“When did you get her?” Cahya questioned her son and son-in-law. “How old is she?”

 

“Three weeks,” Alec answered, smiling down at the bundle of joy in his arms. “It was very sudden and unexpected, even for us.”

 

“You mean this perfect angel has been alive for three weeks and I’m only finding out about her now?” Maryse asked, looking horrified and betrayed.

 

“We wanted it to be a surprise,” Magnus answered, trying to soothe his mother-in-law. “We didn’t—”

 

“Nuh-uh,” Maryse cut him off. “That is three weeks of baby snuggle time I’ll never get back. Hand her over, Abuelita needs to hold her grandbaby,” she said, motioning for Alec to give her the baby. Alec knew better than to try to fight his mother, so he carefully passed Nannette from his arms into his mother’s. “Mi Precioso,” Maryse cooed as she started to walk away with her granddaughter.

 

In the kitchen, the sound of a timer went off. Cahya jumped and rushed to take are of it. “I’ll finish up in here, but when I’m done Maryse you had better let me hold that baby! Nenek needs to cuddle that precious flower too!”

 

Now alone amongst their friends, Magnus and Alec and all of them all broke out laughing. “Oh man,” Catarina chuckled, “you are not getting her back all night. Do you remember my mother when I had Madzie? Oof. Grandmas don’t play.”

 

A short while later everyone decided to stop congregating in the doorway and Magnus and Alec got everything brought up into Alec’s old bedroom. Magnus unpacked their suitcases while Alec set up Nannette’s travel crib. When they came back downstairs, everyone was gathered in the living room and the baby was still the focal point of everyone. Luke must have just gotten back home from running an errand because he was standing next to his wife with a shopping bag still in his hand.

 

For the next few hours, everyone gathered around to talk and laugh and make merry. Cat told stories about the number of times nurses had saved doctor’s asses. Ragnor lamented about the idiocy of the newest client his firm had to defend. The equally grumpy Raphael complained about a group of college co-ed who had trashed their hotel rooms to the point they had to have the room professionally cleaned. Helen, Aline, and Underhill gushed about how excited they were to have been able to afford to buy all of the kids more than one Christmas gift each this year. Meliorn told everyone about a new project he and his fellow conservationists had come up with to help convert air pollution and carbon emission into usable products. Lydia and John shared photos of Lisbon where they had been working at the U.S. Embassy for the past couple of months. Clary talked about the gallery she was staging in March and her and Jace’s honeymoon plans. Jace’s job at a private security firm was, of course, extremely confidential, so he didn’t have much to say about his career and Izzy’s job as a New York City forensic pathologist was too gruesome to talk about at Christmas.

 

While all of this was going on, Maia and Simon’s sister, Becky, who he had brought with to introduce to the whole lot of them, were caught up in their own little world. Magnus and Alec whispered back and forth about the heart-eyes they were making at one another and took bets on whether or not the two would end up kissing under the mistletoe that night.

 

After finishing the delicious dinner Maryse and Cahya had cooked for everyone, it was much the same: hours of talking, debating, laughing, making gooey heart-eyes at significant others, and of course, playing pass-the-baby. Eventually, after finally coaxing his mother to give him his child back, Magnus found himself laying down on the couch with his head in Alec’s lap and their daughter fast-asleep on his chest, having now gotten used to the new environment. Alec smiled down at his husband, combing through his hair. The sight was so precious that several people took photos.

 

Eventually, it was time to call it a night. They would all be reconvening for Christmas Day to exchange gifts and have dinner together again, so goodbyes went quite quickly. Finally alone up in Alec’s room, Alec fed Nannette a bottle while Magnus washed off his makeup to get ready for bed. He was still feeding her as Magnus started poking around the room.

 

“You always were an impeccable neat freak,” Magnus remarked, examining how Alec’s bookshelf was arranged according to the Dewey Decimal System. God, he married a nerd.

 

“You’ve met my mother, you know where I get it from,” Alec joked, tilting the bottle upwards slightly so Nannette could get more formula. “Besides, I know for a fact that we wrecked this room on more than one occasion.”

 

Magnus smirked at him. “Now are we talking about that time when we were kids and dumped every single toy out of the toybox and made it rain Silly String on them, or the not-quite-so-innocent time when we were teenagers and took turns banging each other on this desk?” he teased coyly, leaning against the edge of the desk and patting the surface. “Or were you just referring to the bed.”

 

Alec blushed and looked down at their baby daughter. “Your Papa thinks he’s really funny, doesn’t he? But he’s not the one who had to clean up afterward so your Abuelita didn’t find out, is he?” By now Nannette had finished eating and was yawning, but still looking up at him with her big brown eyes through her fluttering eyelids.

 

“Yes, but your vampire of a Daddy wasn’t the one spending all his money on coverup so your Nenek didn’t find out we’d spent the night together,” Magnus said in the same baby voice Alec had been using. “And your Papa is hilarious,” he added in his regular voice.

 

He joined his husband and child so that they could put her down to sleep. “Goodnight, my angel,” Magnus whispered and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

 

“We love you so, so much,” Alec hummed and kissed her forehead as well. He gently laid her down in the travel bed, waited a few seconds to see if she would stay asleep, and sighed in relief at the slow, steady rise and fall of her little chest.

 

“I still can’t believe tomorrow is her first Christmas,” Magnus said in a low voice so as not to wake the baby. He leaned his head into Alec while they stood and watched their daughter sleep.

 

“I still can’t believe we’re parents.” It was true. Many, many years ago, Alec couldn’t have fathomed every having this. Neither one of them would have thought that they’d have it together. Then there was a time where it was all that they wanted, but they felt as though actually acquiring it was impossible.

 

Yet here they were, three year of marriage under their belt, a new baby, and still as in love with each other as they had been when they were teenagers.

 

“We should tell her about us,” Alec said. “When she’s older and she’ll understand. Just so she knows how special she really is to us. I don’t want her to ever doubt how much we love her.”

Gently, Magnus reached up and turned Alec’s head so that he was facing him, and angled his head upwards to kiss Alec. Alec turned more towards his husband, resting his hands on the man’s hips, an leaned in to kiss Magnus properly: sweet, slow, and tender.

 

“You have a good heart, Alexander,” Magnus sighed airily, placing a hand over Alec’s beating heart.

 

“We should also take her to the treehouse one day,” Alec added before lifting Magnus’ hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to the palm.

 

“Absolutely,” Magnus agreed, pulling Alec in to kiss him again by grabbing fistfuls of Alec’s shirt. “We’ll tell her all about the two princes and their castle in the woods. How they had to fight many monsters, even monsters inside themselves, to be together.”

 

“But they won, in the end,” Alec said, continuing the story. “Because true love always finds a way.”

 

“And they lived happily ever after?” Magnus asked, wetting his lips and smiling at Alec with nothing but true love on his face.

 

Alec’s heart leaped in his chest and his breath caught in his throat. Thick and thin, they’d always be there for each other. They loved one another as equals with a love that knew no bounds, were always able to share what they felt without reservation because they knew that the other would listen, and always helped each other back up again so that the other may soar. Magnus and Alec’s love had been put to the test under extreme circumstances, and only came out stronger because of it. They would love each other until the day that they died and long, long after. Their lives had been so insurmountably hard for so long, filled with so much pain and sorrow, but finally, finally, their story of love, heartbreak, and ‘someday’s had gotten the happy ending it deserved.

 

“And they lived happily ever after.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the Malec wedding vows kinda made their way in there at the end. Thank you again to everyone who has read this story. Y'all are the best! And thank you to Troye Sivan for making me so emo over Malec I had to write this fic.
> 
> If you want to check out the playlist I listened to while writing this story, you can follow this link right here:   
> https://open.spotify.com/user/ic3b3ar/playlist/4o6hKFFnfqHsTeR5X9Gbhf?si=IoCJDRHBQV63ZrDh_E5SiA
> 
> I love you all <3 Be good people!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so, so much ❤


End file.
